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ENGLISH COUNTRY GARDEN (Parody) Somehow, the flowers just never seem to grow In my English country garden. I'll tell you now of some reasons that I know, And the rest I'm sure you'll pardon. Nettles in the flower bed, sparrow droppings on the shed, Stick to the walls and harden. Oh, why do the weeds all propagate their seeds? (Or "And too many things with lots of legs and wings") In my English country garden. Thistles - don't forget the thistles. I had a look at an illustrated book, Showing every garden creature. But I've got a few too horrible to view That the author dared not feature: Anaconda centipedes, kamikaze bumblebees, Even a vampire robin. It takes a gun, not a spray, to keep the pests at bay From my English country garden. Woodlice - don't forget the woodlice. I can't believe that Adam and Eve, Wanted Eden (or "England") for their garden. I'll venture that they'd have swapped it for a flat, If the church will beg my pardon. When Adam and the serpent met, Adam took it as a pet, Serpents can be domesticated yet. But I can surely name a lot that he can't tame, In my English country garden. Hedgehogs - he can't tame the hedgehogs. I will concede that I will never be a vegetable grower, So I've thought it through, and here is what I'll do, And to hell with Percy Thrower. Get a load of broken bricks, cover it with Ready-Mix, Spread it and let it harden. I'll cultivate a concrete estate, In my English country garden. Robins - what about the robins? Robins - those vampire robins. From the singing of John Bond and the group 'Penny Black' collated with other sources. filename[ CNTYGAR3 PS  8note Sheet |
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