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LAVENDER TROUSERS I know what you're looking at me for, What you've got your eyes on I can tell. You're all looking at me lavender trousers; You all wish you had a pair as well. My grandfather gave 'em to me so I would look a toff. Since that day till the day I die, I swore I'd never take 'em off. Oh, in these old lavender trousers I've often skipped and skittered; I've drunk brown ale and I've drunk champagne And I've twice been vaccinated. I've been up the pole, down the drain; I won the heart of Mary Jane, Yes, I won the heart of Mary Jane In these old lavender trousers. La-di-dah, la-di-dah, la-di-da-di-da-di-doh. One fine day I walked into Lipton's; Didn't have a penny or a bean, Crept behind the counter, I thought I was not seen, And it's down me legs, well, I stuffed some eggs And a pound of margarine. Oh, in these old lavender trousers, My state was simply shocking, 'Cos the margarine, well, it was turning green, And it was running down my stocking. Then the manager he sent for the boys in blue, 'Cos ten little chicks went cock-a-doodle-doo, Yes, ten little chicks went cock-a-doodle-doo In these old lavender trousers. One fine day I took a trip to Blackpool; Didn't have a case nor a portmanteau, Stuffed all the things down the back of me trousers; I was a travelling portmanteau. When we got to the station, well, me wife she had a brain; Said, 'Now look you, Hughie, don't you pay for Sammy. Just a-smuggle him on the train.' So in these old lavender trousers I stuffed our little Sammy. I walked right through, only paid for two, That's meself and his dear mammy, And then when the guard he came around, He got me pinched and fined a pound, 'Cos he stuck his nose through a hole he'd found In these old lavender trousers. @musichall filename[ LAVTROUS JM  8note Sheet |
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