Song Challenge! Part 5

Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Áine
Date: 08 Feb 00 - 10:32 PM

This SONG CHALLENGE is really a proxy challenge/thread bleed from the Thought for the Day - Feb. 8 thread. You'll have to read it to understand what I'm talking about. Basically, it involves the film, The Wizard of Oz . . .

It's a 3 part challenge: Write (or finish) the following songs:

1. Munchkins Hangin' In Dem Trees (a/k/a Strange little Fruit); or 2. The Storkin' Blues; or 3. Elementary Feminism (a/k/a Glenda The Good Witch Gets Guilded

Good luck and may the best Winged Monkey and/or Horse Of A Different Colour win!!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Mbo
Date: 08 Feb 00 - 11:05 PM

Man, I gots the Storking blues
Deliv'rin' eggs all day
Man, I gots the Storking blues
Deliv'rin eggs all day
Man I hate this bidness
Munchkins don't never give me no pay

I deliver these eggs all day
Red, orange, blue and green
I deliver these eggs all day
Red, orange, blue and green
But if you shows up late, my boys
Those little Munchkins can git mean

Them Lollipop Guild boys
Can't get it throught my mind
Them Lollipop Guild boys
Can't get it through my mind
How the lives in the sewer
But their hair stays mighty fine

That ole wicked witch
She put a hex on me
That ole wicked witch
She put a hex on me
And I keep gettin' hit wit apples
From a nasty twisted tree

They treat me so bad
They don't give me a thing
They treat me so bad
They don't give me a thing
I's feeling so bad
I'm gonna climb a tree and swing


Yikes, I could go on forever! Maybe I could try some Texas-style blues next. I know Aine would like that!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 12:19 AM

Lost Men of Munchkin Town
(Tune: Three Score and Ten)

Methinks I see a hearty group
Of Munchkins brave and true
And maybe there, amongst the fair,
A Winkie gent or two,
They'd been gathered on the commons wide
Playing at Munchkin boule
When from the blue, a farmhouse flew
And turned them into gruel

Cho:

It was three score and ten

Munchkin men

Lost when the house came down

There were Munchkin tears on Munchkin ears

All over Munchkin town

The mayor and  his oldest son,

The Munchkin milkman too

Were all squashed flat when the house went splat,

And turned into Munchkin glue

Methinks I see those Munchkins still
Laughing, alive and free
Before so many were thrown down
(And one up in a tree);
Methinks I see them gathered there,
Living their Munchkin lives
Expecting soon to homeward go,
To join their Munchkin wives

Cho.

Methinks I see them yet again,
Trimming their caps of blue
And going 'round their Munchkin town
Fond duties for to do;
They are lost beneath that Kansas house
No more, the boules to toss
But the witch, that bitch, at least is gone
So it wasn't a total loss.

Cho.
 
 

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 12:52 AM

This song was found stuffed between the laths in behind the wall plaster of an ancient farmhouse in Hibbing, Montana, that previously belonged to a family named ZImmerman. It was smuggled from there into the hands of my psychotic Quebecois brother, who is bitter and isolated in the Far North, and he insisted I forward it to the Mudcat Challenge. I am therefore (I wish to make it quite clear) acting only as a relay point and am not responsible for any of the attitudes, explicit or implicit, in the following verses.

A

Feminism One-Oh-One

(Tune: The Times They Are A-Changing)
 

Come you ladies around me, wherever you roam,
For your servitude now has too burdensome grown
Stand up, oh stand up, make your own life your own!
If your future to you is worth saving!
Or at least wave your hand with a moue and a moan,
For your minds they are a changing!

Speak up to the menfolk, ye ladies so fair!
(As soon as you've finished adjusting your hair)
Let them know, for the last time, let them know you are there!
And their old ways will soon need some mending!
Rip those antimacassars right off of the chairs,
For your minds they are a-changing!

Stand up for the right for to follow your star!
And eschew the confusion  that has stopped you so far,
But make sure that its him who programs your VCR
If you want General Hospital's station!
And remind him as well please to tune up the car,
For your mind, it is a changing!

Attack him whenever he stares at your jugs,
Stand up and put down all those dumb droolin' mugs
Unless you require them to squash ugly bugs
Or to rehang that Mondrian painting!
Or rewire the speakers, when you want to hear Fugs
For your mind it is a-changing!

Stop and ask for directions (if you won't read a map)
That will free you from ages-old, male-designed trap
Make it clear that you're done with that dishonest crap!
(Except for some powder, when aging!
And a job on your chest, and that faux climax rap)
For your minds, they are a changing.
Oh, your minds, they are a-changing.
And changing.
And changing.
And changing (fade out)
 
 

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Áine
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 07:48 AM

Way to go fellas! Mbo, let's see them Texas blues. And Amos, great songs -- I hope that the FBI isn't knocking on your door wanting you to identify your brother's handwriting . . . oh wait, that's kat come to confiscate your Mac to benefit the Munchkin Maids and Missus Much Maligned Moxy Mob . . . Run, man, run!!!

What I want to know is what happened to all the fairies, elves and nymphs that used to live in the Land of Oz? Are the Munchkins really scabs who crossed their picket line? What happened to the righteous strike they called when MGM refused to hire them because they were too small? Who were these Munchkin upstarts anyway? What was their historical basis for insisting on being the supernatural creatures in the story? Don't the elves, fairies, and nymphs count as the Native Interterrestials in this case? Is there no record for posterity of the Great Looting of Lot 16, when the combined Fey Forces attempted to overtake the Munchkin Mob and were put down by a contingent of the Winged Monkies?

Where's the indignation? Where's the strike song? Where's the movement?

Inquiring minds want to know . . .

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: MMario
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 08:13 AM

Áine - din't you read the Oz books?

MGM concentrated on the Munchkins, but the books made it clear there were 4 major races in Oz, the Munchkins, Gillikins, Quadlings and Winkies -- respectivly they were blue, purple, red and yellow. Inhabitants of the Emerald City were of course green. In addition, there were the fairies, witches, sorceresses and assorted oddities...I don't remember any nymphs though....

and of course Oz is both retorgrade and topsyturvy....the East is on the left side of maps and the north at the bottom.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: The Shambles
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 08:38 AM

Amos. I like the song and I greatly admire your courage. I will be singing the line about antimacassars, all day now. You can put some real feeling in to that line, when you sing it out loud.

I feel that I should offer you a little moral support here. A Mere Man.

" I like the cut of your jib, young fellow-me-lad".

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: MMario
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 08:39 AM

PS - AMOS! I bow three times in your general vicinity and leave an offering of Bailey's cookies and Baileys. *much applause*

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 08:43 AM

I knew, I just knew that someone on this list would understand the inclusion of a Winkie gent or two in the above song. Thanks, Mario!! I can imagine them trading between colors, perhaps having little diplomatic intrigues, perhaps prejudiceagainst other colors for the small minded ("Some of my best friends are Gillikins, man...")and visiting towns in other quadrants, maybe even cross breeding! (" I don't think he looks at allred, dear. Don't be silly!"). I am sure when the house came down, and all that furor arose, the Munchkins did not even notice that a couple of visiting Winkies were among the crushed. I am sure the government of Winkie land complained about that, yes sir!

Ok, back to alternate universe number 001, Reality-land.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Áine
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 09:03 AM

Well, Lady Mudcats, while these fellas are thumping each other on the back for their boldness, one of us needs to take up the cause of the Munchkin Maids and Missus Much Maligned Moxy Mob!! Which of us can pen the most stirring Munchkin March for the Moxy Mob??

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 09:04 AM

Thank you for the song, Roger! It captures a certain sentiment that I have experienced, and does it beautifully.

I want to make it clear that the reactionary tone in the Feminism song was (according to my evil Quebecois brother) an acting-out, and not a genuine sentiment. I am actually both extremely fond of, and frequently in awe of, members of the female persuasion, and do not hold with crass generalizations of the kind that gender wars are based on, anyway.

My actual belief is that sanity and ability are purely individual qualities, not derived from categories of existence such as gender, height, choice of musical instrument, or color of nose-hair. :>)

Let us hope that kAT reads this disclaimer before she unleashes the wrath of the Minnie Mouse Protective Society and its minions and has me expelled from the Mudcat forever.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: The Shambles
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 09:09 AM

Chicken!

Oh and what you said goes for me too.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Áine
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 09:10 AM

I can't wait 'till we hear from kat!!

-- Áine (giggling in anticipation over my cheerios)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 09:14 AM

I don't understand what your cheerios do for you to make you giggle in anticipation, Áine...but are they giving lessons?A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: MMario
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 09:16 AM

dang! he beat me to the punch line....

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: katlaughing
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 10:30 AM

In my own time, yew all, in my own time. Since I am of the fairest sex, I shall have to do twice the job and get paid half, so....in my own time. Stay tuned....'tis a lady's privelege to keep the ahem gentlefolk waiting!

katlaughingherarseoff!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Mbo
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 10:37 AM

I been standing in this cornfield
For so long the Lord only knows
Just stuck here on an oak pole
All I do is scare the crows
I got those Scarecrow blues
I been blue for so long
And if I could get down from this pole
I'd do a dance and sing a song

All I known all my life
Is toil and pain
They never take me in
Even when it starts to rain
I got those Scarecrow blues
Just scaring crows all day
Ain't got myself a noodle
All I gots this wad of hay

Got a burlap face
And my clothes are worn thin
Ther goes some more of me
Just pick it up and shove it back it
I got those Scarecrow blues
Lord, now it's startin' to hail
Please someone come and save me
You just gotta bend down the nail

Da da da
Da da da
Da da da
Da da da daaaaaaaaaaaa.........oh yeah.


There's some Texas Blues fer you!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Mbo
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 10:46 AM

HMM! That should be "in."

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 10:46 AM

Sing an' dance, Mister Meebo!! Mighty fine Texas blues.

kAT, as regards if'n yew got any ISSues with thet tune o' mine, well, whut it is, see, is I got left out in the forest all night without no oil can. Kinda outa sorts, after a night like thet. Owl droppings an' all.

So puhleeze don' yew be too hard on me, fair kAT.

I'll bah yew a new piller for yore hair. :>)
(Dang, ya take the left foot out and put the right foot in...)

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Mbo
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 10:51 AM

Amos, I like the part about Mondrian! He's a particular favorite of mine. You detect a bit of his influence in some of my more design-related works.

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 11:44 AM

Well, Meebo, me boy, I am glad you found something to like in it. Mondrian is a good one to borrow. The rest of the tune may end up being the all-time Mudcat clanger, tho' it was meant only in fun. (sigh).

You put your left foot in, your take your right foot out....

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Áine
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 12:00 PM

Mmmmmmmmm . . .

You put your left foot in, your take your right foot out...

Sounds like a great beginning for the Munchkin Maids and Missus Much Maligned Moxy Mob and Minnie Mouse Minions Massacree March!!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 12:03 PM

Gee, Red, ya been hoarding those M, M and Ms too long. Ain't you got them alphabetized yet?

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: MMario
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 12:28 PM

She could have said it was the Merry Month of March Munchkin Music Maids and Missus Much Maligned Moxy Mob and Minnie Mouse Minions Massacree March Matching Marvelous Mice Men and Moose Malingering Madly

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: katlaughing
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 12:35 PM

Amos, I thought it was excellent and hilarious! All in fun. En garde! luvyakat

The Rejoinder

(Tune: The Times They Are A-Changing)

Come all ye gentlemen, wherever you lust
For your laden testosterone keep to yourself
Keep away! Keep away, from our beautiful busts
If your b***s they are worth saving!
Keep your hands in your pockets, in order to trust,
That we wemoon are a changing!

We've thrown off your yoke of oppression and gain
We watch with disdain as you adjust it *down there*
Our choice! Our choice, we've earned it through pain,
So here's to our new sexuality!
Don't approach, unless bidden, or you'll go down the drain,
For wemoon, we, are a changing!

For years we have mopped your hot fevered brows
For years, said "Yes, dear", cleaned and bore children
Throw open! Throw open, those doors now,
Break the glass ceiling, belly up to the bar,
For tonight, we are drinking and awake with the cows!
We, wemoon! We are a changing!

What care you, our *'pits* and legs, growing hairy?
The companies of razors going broke and scrambling
To figure! To figure, what wemoon want...scary!
They'd have to grow tits and *feel* fully our pain!
Then we take off our fetters and refuse to marry
For wemoon, we are a changing! etc.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Áine
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 12:40 PM

Go mehitabel!!! An excellent reposte, my dear!!

MMario -- I could have said all that; but, I passed out before I got to the end of the dang song . . .

-- Áine (laughing and panting alternately)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Mbo
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 12:48 PM

Yikes. That's why I'm not into feministic stuff. It makes me feel horribly guilty just about being alive. I couldn't help what gender I was born--and am certainly innocent of all the above charges!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: katlaughing
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 12:57 PM

Ah, embow, that was mild, darlin' and yew don't have a thing to worry about. I am sure your sweet sister will attest to that. We HAVE come a long way, baby! Well, except in Wyoming...here comes some serious thread drift:

I have a friend who has a 4 yr degree in Art History & Education. After years of being married and working very successfully as a teacher and also radio advert salesperson, she divorced the lawyer and wound up with nothing. Went back to college for a 2 yr degree to become a certified paralegal. Does most of her attorney's work for him. (I am NOT denigrating lawyers, in general, just the jackass she works for. Some of my best frineds are good lawyers!)

Anyway, here she is with the degrees and all, brilliant mind and abilities paid a salary so low, with 3 kids, she qualifies for assistance, which she does NOT take. The lawyers in her firm took home well over $150,000 each last year, while she made less than $23,000. THAT is the kind of patriarchal bullshit I continue to fight and find disgusting!

Sorry for the rant...we don't get much call for feminism in Wyoming...the so-called Equality State. Thanks for letting me *vent*!

kat

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Áine
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 01:34 PM

Whew! Have you guys kept me busy this morning!! OK, here are the awards for SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5. Kudos to all!

-- Áine (who's still trying to catch her breath)

**********************************************************

Golden Cow Chip Award:
Feminism One-Oh-One (submitted by) Amos
The Rejoinder by katlaughing

Golden Cow Chip with Shamrock Cluster:
Lost Men of Munchkin Town by Amos

Golden Cow Chip with Cleigh's Blue Fume Shield:
I've Got Those Scarecrow Blues by Mbo
The Storking Blues by Mbo

**********************************************************

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: katlaughing
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 01:43 PM

And, darlin womon, I've another, gentler one in mind! T'anks a gazillion!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 01:52 PM

Ah, kat, ye have made my day! Pits, patties an' all. But why "awake with the cows"?

Now, to defuse this situation, p'raps a song-challenge could be made out of this news from dear old England where nothing is either simple or normal:

The highest ever number of complaints about a single advertisement followed a flyer advertising ``Safe Sex Week'' and featuring the Pope saying ``Always wear a condom.''

``We received 1200 complaints about that,'' several years ago, an ASA spokesman said.

Last year an ad for the soft drink Irn Bru, which showed a cow saying ``When I'm a burger I want to be washed down with Irn Bru,'' attracted 589 complaints.

Now, I have to ask you, is the production boom so dampened in the Old Country that people have time to complain about talking cows? And, why shouldn't a cow have something to say about what they get washed down with? People are always writing Wills to dictate how they get washed down. Fill up the hosepipe with Irn Bru, sez I (whatever Irn Bru may be -- sounds like an underground intoxicant!)

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 02:04 PM

kAT,

Your friend needs to practice one skill, which she probably has in plentiful store just needing due exercise -- the art of hardnosed negotiation. There are books on it (Looking Out for number One, How to Swim With the Sharks or whatever, and a lot of soupy Sales books to boot). Then she should start her own business doing those lawyer's work for them and charging them more appropriately.

There's a cruel but accurate Dilbert cartoon about the "secretarial brand" that lingers on, even after the character in the cartoon has earned an MS degree. the boss tells her it will stay with her like being buried under a pile of wet carpet.

I say, to h##ll with that noise; she should grab these cronies by the nose and lock them in. Or hire one of them to sue all the rest! That would be a fun broohaha to reflect upon.

But if it is any comfort this is only partly a gender issue; those fatcats would exercise the same dominion over anyone, boy, girl or in between, that would sit still for it and trade security for a low-wage grind with too GD little sunlight in it. I do it myself, 's how I know, although I have used my testicular leverage to do a tad better than I otherwise might have (I just knew they were good for sumpn):>).

Anyway, thanks for venting, and I'm on your side in this one. Even if I am a pants-adjusting, testosterone blinded, manipulative, oppressive, anachronistic insensitive pecker-headed male chauvinist pig! Oink!

Love,

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Áine
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 02:12 PM

Even if I am a pants-adjusting, testosterone blinded, manipulative, oppressive, anachronistic insensitive pecker-headed male chauvinist pig! Oink!

Yea, right -- when you write poems that make me weak in my knees (even the one that's not out already) -- Come on, Amos, you're a SNAG (sensitive new age guy) and you know it!!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: The Shambles
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 02:19 PM

NOTE*

Irn Bru is Scotland's second drink. It is a fizzy soft drink or 'pop' as you would say.

It is made from girders (steel construction girders).

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 02:25 PM

SNAG, huh??? I drink Irn Bru, made from girders! And I wash it down with nekkid uncooked cows!! Just 'cuz I wax pheeelosoffikle onct inna while!

Áine, thank you for the sweet remarks. I'm just blustering to keep from blushing. Sucks, Mizz Machree..aw...(shuffle shuffle).

:>)A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Mbo
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 02:37 PM

And what am I, chopped liver?

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 02:39 PM

Hey man!! You got the Blue Smoked Weiner Award!!! I mean, c'mon, Liverbo!!!

Nah, you're pure pate de foie gras, Mbo. No mistake.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 02:43 PM

Y'know, some folks say e-mail and such are dry and don't transmit feelings the way handwrit letters do.

So how come that purdy Texas gal has used them feminine wiles tuh get me and Emmmbo fightin' in this here eeelectronic thread, huh? Dang. Don't tell me there ain't no feelins' in cyberspace!!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: katlaughing
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 03:07 PM

Sorry, Amos, but that doesn't work in the state of Wyoming. It is reknowned for the low wages of women and men in certain jobs. She is a right rounder and never had any problem sticking up for herself, esp. with me backing her up.

Because there is a shortage of jobs, esp of that type in this town, there is always someone willing to work for less. There've been whole studies done on the Wyoming job market & specific ones on the market for women, and still the pols pontificate and feel our pain while they expect everyone to bend over and crack a smile! This is, in the minds of many who live and work here, a third world nation within the states.

I agree with Áine. You are both SNAGglepusses..that's why we luvyadarlings...kat

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Áine
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 03:07 PM

Dear Amos and Mbo,

You're the cream in my coffee, You're the sun in my day, You're the rhyme in my poem, You're fine with me in every way.

You're the spice in my chili, You're the pepper in my stew, You're the salsa on my corn chip, You're the taters in my stew.

You're the stars in my night sky, You're the moon 'ere the dusk, You're the ring 'round my Saturn, You're the patchouli to my musk.

You're the cream in my coffee, You're the bounce in my walk, You're the chime on my hour, You're the tic to my toc!

Need I say more? -- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 03:14 PM

Man, Mbo -- see what you get when you go whinin' to the teacher?!! I'm just all over melting.
Sucksshucksshucksshucks.

Hey Mbo...you wanna fight some more?? Sure seems to be working!! :>)

Love you guys!!!

Beetfaced A.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 03:21 PM

I hear you, kAT. I think Wyoming has kinda been this way ever since the barons of beef established a lock on the ranges; if it's the whole local economy, andnot just one box of fatcats, it's a harder row to hoe for sure. Given her brains, she could maybe start an Internet company and provide legal support service for the whole state at once if she could work out a model where she could cost 'em less; trouble is, that kind of document stuff is so often labor-intensive. But with the right use of boilerplate and databasing she could mebbe find an advantageous model.

'Course she might put a dozen other bright ladies on the sidelines doing it. Tough call.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 03:26 PM

Queen Aine:

Now go put that there fine set of couplets into that Songbook. Couplets like them there of yours ought by rights to be immortalized! :>) Dang, there I go again.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Mbo
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 03:52 PM

Well! Just for that, Aine, you can expect 2 surprises in your e-mail very soon! Thanks!

--Mbo (c'mon Amos, put up yer dueces!)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: GUEST,Jim Dixon
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 03:54 PM

1. Amos, that should be Hibbing, MINNESOTA (not Montana).

2. More about Irn Bru: I think "Irn" is pronounced "iron", and it's so called because it's the color of rust. It tasted to me (an American) like our traditional taste of bubble gum. I didn't have any bubble gum in Scotland, so I don't know if that would have that connotation to a Scot.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 04:03 PM

I stand corrected -- the Zimmerman house and the Gaelic castle mentioned in another thread are both located in Hibbing, Minnesota. Thanks, Jim!

I suffer from real cognitive dissonance when I think of Scots and bubble gum in the same sentence -- kind of a whirlpool in time, although there's no reason the Edinburgh lasses shouldn't have as much right to Fleer's best as those from, say, Augusta.

An Urban Gnu all around, on me!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: katlaughing
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 04:07 PM

Another tidbit to file away for the off chance of a visit and not wanting to be the gauche tourist. Thanks, JimD! Iron Brew, I love it!

Áine, I agree with thatimortalising bit!

Amos, yer a darlin for caring. She is starting an Internet company, but not for that. That, she had thought, would be the bread and butter to support, but now she is going full bore to develop the other, totally unrelated because it is going to make her much more. So, barring going back and getting her own law degree which she doesn't really want to do, she is going to be kissing their sorry asses goodbye, I hope, by the summer!

That's about the only hope for a lot of people here. I've started my own, too, one which I can operate from anywhere, and fortunately, I have the monetary support of my "guid mon".

Ta,

kat

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Bradypus
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 06:15 PM

The Hanging Munchkin
(Tune: Somewhere over the rainbow)

Somewhere up in the treetops
Way up high
There a Munchkin is hanging
See him against the sky.

Somewhere up in the treetops
Just in view
Why is that Munchkin hanging?
Why has his face turned blue?

One day he left the city green
And whistled happy and serene
Along the gold way
When something odd did catch his eye
A talking lion he did spy
And so he ran away

Somewhere over the hilltop
Violet haze
He met a talking scarecrow
Wandering in a daze

Somewhere in the next valley
Orange hue
Tin man's axe hit the Munchkin
Poor Munchkin's head needs glue

And so he fell red in a ditch
Was found there by a wicked witch
And flying monkey
The monkey took him in the air
But couldn't take him to its lair
Its grip was wonky

Somewhere up in the treetops
Munchkin fell
Caught his head in the branch
His face then began to swell

Somewhere up in the treetops
Green and Brown
Munchkin looks like a scarecrow
O, Woodman, cut him down.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Áine
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 06:46 PM

Congratulations, Bradypus! You've been awarded the Golden Cow Chip with Harp Ribbon (The Harp Ribbon is given for being able to make The Keeper of the Book fall on the floor laughing OR make her short out her keyboard with tears, a 'high' honor indeed! Well done!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: The Shambles
Date: 10 Feb 00 - 09:46 AM

How about a song(s) about and for the fine lady who has done all this hard work and enabled all of this fine talent to be displayed.

I propose a toast, with a pint of Irn Bru, To the lovely Anne.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 00 - 10:14 AM

Here's to the Gaelic Texan lass
And here's to the men who love her!
Who send in rhymes made late at night
And wake up thinking of her!
Who hang upon each merry post
That falleth from her lips
And wander 'round like mournful ghosts
Obsessed with her cow chips
Ten pints per man of Irn Bru
To ease a tortured brain
And here's to the lass we all turn to
Our Gaelic Goddess, Áine!

A

(Being Gaelic-challenged, I don't really know whether that last pair rhymnes or not, but it looks write on paper.)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: GUEST,Mbo
Date: 10 Feb 00 - 10:47 AM

Uh-oh, Amos! That rhyme is not gonna sit well with Aine! It's pronounced "Anya." And I think even you, my song-smith friend would, have trouble with a good rhyme for her name. Well actually, there is "branle."

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 00 - 10:56 AM

Well, when one word won't do, use several. "Who never seeks to pain ya" comes to mind but its too facile, p'raps, and I think you said it's ann-yia, not ain-ya... Stain ya is too suggestive. I don't know what branle is, my erudite amigo.

Oh, dear, and here I thought I would get some work done in alternative universe 001 (Reality-Land) today.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: katlaughing
Date: 10 Feb 00 - 11:50 AM

Áine - upon ya; sonya; and then there's the old "Dubya", even comes from the same state! Aaarrrgghhhh!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 00 - 11:54 AM

Toast to An Irish Cowgurl

Here's to the Gaelic Texan lass
And here's to the men who love her!
Who send in rhymes made late at night
And wake up thinking of her!
Who hang upon each merry post
That falleth from her lips
And wander 'round like mournful ghosts
Obsessed with her cow chips
Ten pints per man of Irn Bru
To ease a tortured brain
And here's to the lass for whom we bear
Our grim creative pains
So say farewell to British Nell
Take leave of your Russian Tanya
Lift a toast to the Muse who drives us mad,
Our Gaelic goddess, Áine!


(That's Áine-which-is-pronounced-Anya, for we Gaelic-impaired patriarchal archetypes!)

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: katlaughing
Date: 10 Feb 00 - 12:00 PM

LMAOWROTF!!!!!!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Áine
Date: 10 Feb 00 - 12:36 PM

I'm right down there with ya, kat! Pardon me while I wipe the tears from my eyes . . . ah, that's better.

Amos, dear heart, what can I say? I'm honored by your toast and I'm going to make the dear hubby memorize it and recite it to me on a weekly basis . . . Thank you!

Dear Roger (the Lodger) a/k/a The Shambles,

You're a sweetheart, and I return the toast to all my dear Mudcat friends, with a large glass of RC Cola in one hand and a chocolate Moon Pie in the other!!

-- Áine (a/k/a The Gaelic Goddess) Does this mean that I have to give up my jeans and t-shirts to wear a toga?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: MMario
Date: 10 Feb 00 - 01:08 PM

In the "Handbook of Rules, Regulations and Common Practices for Gods, Goddesses, and Dieties of all Kinds" it specifically states that goddesses may choose their own manner of dress. Demigods, on the other hand, must where whatever their worshipers most often percieve them to be wearing.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 00 - 01:19 PM

I think the Dieties section of the Handbook belongs over on the Just Desserts thread, MM...speaking of which, has anyone seen the cookie Minstress? Hope she didn't get pure bored to death with all the talk her cookies started.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: MMario
Date: 10 Feb 00 - 01:30 PM

ie, ei, ie, ei, never could keep them straight.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Áine
Date: 10 Feb 00 - 02:53 PM

Message from the Goddess:

Please, no picking on my fashion consultant!

-- Áine (T.G.G.)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 00 - 03:15 PM

Talk about upwardly mobile! A personal fashion consultant, an endless supply of Moon Pies, a dozen fanatic troubadours at her beck and call...she'll show up at the Tavern in a stretch limo wearing mink Levi's if we don't watch out!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: MMario
Date: 10 Feb 00 - 03:24 PM

nah - probably a mink limo with stretch levis

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Micca
Date: 10 Feb 00 - 03:44 PM

Amos, is that Fur side out or fur side in? for the benefit of our deprived American friends, Irn Bru is Pt.1 of the Glasgow hangover cure. When you get up with the King of Hangovers drink a pint of Irn Bru, this gives your system a HUGE blast of glucose and rehydrates you. If it stays down, proceed to step two this consists of a Bacon Sandwich at least 1 1/2 inches thick , preferably with Brown sauce which you Americans may not know. If you keep both down, you are likely to feel much better in about an hour.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 00 - 03:51 PM

It might work!! In my youth, though, when I went in for that sort of self-punishment, my King-Size hangovers wouldn't let me keep down the sight of an Irn Bru, let alone the contents!

The thought of a bacon sandwich under those circumstances would have had an impact somewhat like drinking warm butter :>)

But I am no recent experience with these things because I have vowed never to have a hangover larger than a Bayer aspirin.

We're all a little past the fur side here, but I think even enchanted volunteer minks such as those used by TGG prefer to keep their fursides outsides as doing the reverse kind of messes up their digestive processes. [Don't even ask about the troubadours with the mink fur balls].

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Mbo
Date: 10 Feb 00 - 05:40 PM

Amos, a Branle is an ancient French folk dance, made most popular during the Renaissance. There are 2 kinds of Branle: the Branle Simple (pronounced brahn-luh som-pluh, as your evil Quebecois twin could attest to) and the Branle Gay (bran-luh gey) La la la!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 00 - 05:48 PM

Ahh, knowledge! Thanks, most erudite Mbo. Saw a stranger in the Tavern, not long ago, looking for you with advice. But he tore off on a hog before I could learn any more. Mario was still there and he might know what the message was. I'll meanwhile practice the Most Gay Branle (which by the way does notrhyme with an-ya by my standards, any way! :>) A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Mbo
Date: 10 Feb 00 - 06:39 PM

Sure it does--brahn-luh, ahn-yuh. See? It's one of those male/female rhyme thingies.

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 00 - 07:47 PM

Depends on whether your Fench accent is derived from the ancient Norman or the modern Parisian.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 00 - 07:47 PM

French! French! And that's mandatory! :>))

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 02:26 PM

Who was the guy who wrote the Wizard of Oz?
What was he smokin?
Don't tell me he wasn't doing drugs
He had to be tokin'

Flying monkeys melting witches
Every minute the plot switches
Golden pavement symbolism
Giving me an embolism
Don't know what it is but it ain't wisdom
What was he smokin!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: MMario
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 02:50 PM

Much too short jack - can't you give us another verse?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 03:13 PM

Hmmm

It makes my point. If I were performing It I'd just play it through twice and have a simple bridge like

Smokin Smokin Smokin

Or "He wasn't off to see the wizard, cause he had to be on something.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: MMario
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 03:15 PM

okay. I'm greedy, sorry.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 03:45 PM

I understand what you are saying. Just sometimes I think less is more. But by all means if you have an idea, write another verse!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: MMario
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 04:01 PM

Apple trees with deadly pitches
Houses dropping onto witches
Poppy fields as red as fire
Burning scarecrows fate is dire
Don't know what it is, it isn't courage
What was he smokin?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: SharonA
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 05:35 PM

May I?...

Hollow tin man needin' oilin'
Lion from a fight recoilin'
Little girl with red shoes croonin'
Big fake wizard gone balloonin'
Don't know what it is, but it ain't brain cells
What was he smokin'?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 17 Aug 01 - 05:36 AM

To the tune of that Dubliners' standard "Surrounded by Water" (which they themselves parodied as "Dollymount Strand")

CHORUS
Ma chére Dorothy, you're my grá gheal mo chroí
You're the light in my window, the star of the sea
The minute you strode, down the yellow brick road
My heart was just filled with devotion

George Lucas makes films 'bout wars in the stars
James Bond drives around in powerful cars
(Complete with hi-tech mechanical powers,
When pushed they can navigate oceans!)

CHORUS

New boy Tarantino is often portrayed
As a lover of gore, but the films he made
When viewed with an open mind tend to put paid
To that sort of cynical notion

CHORUS

Martin Scorsese makes films that deal
With life in the raw, with the grim and the real
Many a critic of film may feel
That of talent he's got his fair quotient

CHORUS

But of all of the movies that ever were made
One, it is said, puts them all in the shade
It stars Judy Garland, a charming young blade
And it caused no end of commotion

CHORUS

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 17 Aug 01 - 11:33 AM

You guys did such a great job fillin out the last song, heres another. I've established theme but left it a little more open. We need a couple more verses a bridge and a title.

Dorothy's Dementia (working title)

Dark Side of the Moon to the Wizard of Oz
They say keeps perfect time.
I can't figure out...... because
I ain't even tryin'.

There once was a time when I tried drugs
and here is my only defence.
It seems like the times when I was high
Stuff like that made sense

(chorus)But now I'm straight and life is great
Because I don't Hallucinate
Mental trips they over rate
cause you always pay the freight

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: mousethief
Date: 17 Aug 01 - 06:52 PM

The Wizard of Oz
Tune: If I Only Had a Brain

They say Frank, he was a thinker
And he even liked to tinker
With the language, just because
He just loved word-inventin'
So the novel that he sent in
Was the Wizard of Oz*

Down at Random House they sniggered
And at Harper, Row they figgered
It had far too many flaws
But that didn't stop George Hill
From raking in the till
On the Wizard of Oz

Now some say old Frank was tokin'
And some say he was smokin'
With a hash-pipe in his jaws
I say of those gals and fellas
They're just all completely jealous
Of the Wizard of Oz

Then old Metro, G. and Meyer
Ask if Baum's book is for hire
And they sign a legal clause
And soon Frank's story is seen
On the magic silver screen
As the Wizard of Oz

Many decades have gone by
And young people like to try
When the lion opens its jaws
To set "Dark Side of the Moon"
To provide the background tunes
For the Wizard of Oz

Though I've never been a hippy,
Well, I tried it, and it's trippy
And it really gave me pause
Synchronicity is groovy
And it's such a far-out movie
It's THE WIZARD OF OZ!!!!

Copyright ©2001 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved.

*Well, actually, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 5
From: Áine
Date: 17 Aug 01 - 07:57 PM

Your entries may be 'late', my darlin's, but they still retain the original 'flavour' of this Challenge! '-)

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Shamrock Cluster (The Shamrock Cluster is awarded for a very high level of imagination, imagery, and/or creative use of language in a song):

A Sort of Cynical Notion by derrymacash
Who Wrote the Wizard of Oz? by Jack the Sailor, MMario and SharonA
The Wizard of Oz by mousethief


Well done all, Áine