BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)

Subject: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please
From: katlaughing
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 12:58 PM

My son, Colin, abuses alcohol with prescription drugs. He's been being treated for depression for the past few months. He had a great volunteer job started in the mountains of Colorado which he couldn't handle and was let go due to having to be sent, by ambulance, to ER twice. He had enough money to get a small caravan/travel trailer and had parked it in a primitive campground where he was going to live and stay in touch with the good friends he made at the retreat center where he was working. As he was leaving there to go to the campground, his one and only cat, jumped out, over a week ago, and as far as I know, has not been found.

I last spoke with him on Friday when he was broke, had food, was at the campground, had been going back daily to look for his cat, and had no alcohol. As of Monday, he should have had more money in his acct. I haven't heard from him since Friday which is unusual, so I started making calls, today. His cellphone is either out of range or not charged and he has not been on facebook or emailed.

I found out his caravan is at the park, his van is in a parking lot in the small town near there, and he was taken by ambulance, again, to the hospital on Monday for intoxication. (This is what the cops told me when I requested a welfare check.) Calls to the hospital and detox unit have turned up nothing, of course, because of the privacy laws, but I do know he is not listed as a patient at the hospital and the detox gal sort of let me know that he is not there, esp. as people are usually only there overnight.

The last time he was in hospital, they kept him for several days to do some tests on his stomach, which turned out okay, and to get his electrolytes back up to normal levels.

We have talked about dying, suicide, and many other things, no holds barred. I've told him he may not feel he is suicidal, but what he does to his body with the anti-depressants and booze, is a slow, or can be a quick, form of suicide. He is adamant that he is not suicidal.

Besides his maltreatment of self, in this country he is a single man with no health insurance and basically no income which means not very many services available to help.

Please keep him in your thoughts and good wishes and I would appreciate your support for me, too. I am resigned, either way, but I sure would like to know what is/has happened to him. He is my first-born and we've been through a lot with one another.

Thanks so much,

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please
From: maeve
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 01:02 PM

Oh, Kat. Of course.

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please
From: Wesley S
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 01:37 PM

Good luck. I'll be thinking of you - and him.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please
From: Smedley
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 01:41 PM

Best wishes, Kat, hope you hear something positive.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please
From: Ebbie
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 01:42 PM

Kat, you two have all I can muster. With "thanks giving for the best possible outcome."

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please
From: olddude
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 01:50 PM

Anything I can do Kat you know how to get a hold of me
Love Dan

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please
From: frogprince
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 01:52 PM

Once again, almost hesitant to put down words which can be easily said in a very painful situation. Know that there is one more heart with you here, Kat.
                         Dean

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please
From: ClaireBear
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 01:54 PM

Kat, here's my heart. Take as much as you need. Holding you and your in light...

Claire

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please
From: MMario
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 02:24 PM

Zen Hugs to you,,Kat....

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please
From: Beer
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 02:34 PM

kat,
Can't imagine what your going through.
hang in there and certainly hope the best for you and your son.
Adrien

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 02:37 PM

Ditto all of the above and I'll add some tears.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please
From: ragdall
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 03:07 PM

Kat,
My positive thoughts are with you and Colin. I hope that you will hear soon that all is okay.

rags

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please
From: LilyFestre
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 03:26 PM

Kat,

    Lots of love from Pennsylvania. I hope you hear from him SOON.
((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please
From: jeffp
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 03:27 PM

Hoping for the best.

Jeff

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please
From: GUEST,Janie
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 03:31 PM

Oh Kat. holding Colin, and all of you in my thoughts.

Hard as it is, don't forget to breathe!

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please
From: katlaughing
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 03:44 PM

Thank you all, so much. I am not at the pulling my hair out, gnashing my teeth and wailing, though I may get to that. Right now, I feel resigned and sort of numb. I really, really appreciate your kind words, support, and PMs. I know I have done all there it to have helped him and, for now, to look for him. I hope he calls and puts my heart at ease, but if he does not, I will be okay...sad, but okay. And, if he has transitioned, I will also be sad, but relieved in a way, that maybe he has found some relief. I hope that doesn't sound too pessimistic or heartless. I base it on my own spiritual beliefs and his as well as our discussions of same. Regardless, I am NOT ready to have my son gone, so the best possible outcome for the highest good of all concerned, yes, just let it be that he is well and recovering. Blessed be to one and all,

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please
From: fat B****rd
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 04:00 PM

Very best thoughts and regards from Charlie.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please
From: Gurney
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 04:20 PM

The son of a friend is having that sort of life, currently.
Makes you feel so helpless.
Good wishes from us.
Chris.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please
From: Wesley S
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 04:20 PM

Well said Kat.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please
From: jacqui.c
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 04:52 PM

All love and good wishes here as well Kat.

Good thoughts going out for the best possible outcome.

Take good care of yourselves, won't you.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please
From: katlaughing
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 05:15 PM

Good news! Colin just called me. He sounded strong and well and is back at the area where the campground is. He is charging his cell phone at the moment, at the library. Without going into too much detail, he was in hospital with stomach complications from beer and is looking into moving to the Ft. Collins area to be closer to counseling, etc. He knows how concerned we've been and promised to stay in touch better. I know that he glossed over some stuff and I don't always get the whole story, but for now, I am grateful he is alive and coherent, apparently strong. I guess I jumped the gun and went off into the realms of "what if" too fast, but it's been a very rough past few months with him.

I sure would welcome continued good thoughts for him and his kitty, Tito, a Russian Blue, (that he be found) and for me, that I doubt not the Love and Light which surrounds my son.

Thank you, again,

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)
From: maeve
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 05:21 PM

Thanks for letting us know, Kat. Whew! Of course you were worried!


maeve; Sending deep breaths, joyful thanks, and a pool of peace to shield you all.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)
From: Ebbie
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 05:44 PM

I too am relieved that he checked in with you. I'm just glad that you have the denizens of the Cave of the Mudcat to help. :)

(here, Tito, Tito!

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 05:50 PM

Oh, Kat, my dear, so much love to you and Colin- I'm coming late to this, but I know how you've worked so hard to support him in all the right ways. I hope this move works for him, and that you can have some peace. Love, love, love....

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)
From: Micca
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 05:59 PM

Kat, What you need is yours,
Micca

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 06:04 PM

I'm here later than Allison and can only echo her.........Much Love and do whatever you can for you. Always in my heart.......

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)
From: Janie
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 06:16 PM

No, Kat, you didn't jump the gun.   You saw red flags based on realistic awareness, and responded appropriately.

I'm so very glad he called and is OK.    Continuing to hold him and you in my thoughts.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 07:08 PM

adding my good wishes to those already with you & your son & cat

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 07:09 PM

More tears... but better ones. Keep the faith.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)
From: SINSULL
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 08:17 PM

Oh Miss Kitty. You know you have my love, support, prayers and whatever else you need.
One day at a time.
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)
From: open mike
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 08:41 PM

my best to all involved...strength...to get thru this,and vision to see
the light..and the motivation to move towards the light.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)
From: ragdall
Date: 29 Jul 10 - 03:59 AM

What a relief that he contacted you.
Good wishes for Colin to benefit from the counselling and to you to be strong and have faith.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)
From: jacqui.c
Date: 29 Jul 10 - 08:05 AM

I am so glad that you heard from him Kat!

Good thoughts still coming for all of you.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)
From: GUEST,morti at work
Date: 29 Jul 10 - 09:03 AM

So glad and grateful for the good outcome and holding you in the light for better days for you both....

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's oka
From: Jean(eanjay)
Date: 29 Jul 10 - 09:14 AM

Good thoughts sent from Harrogate.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Jul 10 - 10:24 AM

I've been reading this, but haven't remarked. I guess it's because I'm at the stage of launching my youngest and you're offering a look at one of the complications that can arise.

I'm glad to see that he has pulled back from the brink and the cat came back!

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)
From: katlaughing
Date: 29 Jul 10 - 10:47 AM

SRS, I hope you have the gift of prophecy 'cause that's the first I've heard that the cat came back!:-) It may be as Colin did say he had three messages he was having trouble accessing due to spotty coverage.

I've been thinking about your launching your son off and the "empty nest" you will be experiencing, soon. It seems to me you have done a remarkable job of supporting your children and giving them all the tools they need to be successful. I would suspect your son will do fine and I hope you never have to deal with anything similar. And, though I haven't said it, empty nests can actually be kind of fun and rewarding... a time to let out a long sigh and think "there, that's done," or at least that part of sending them off.:-)

Thanks, again, to you all. You are wonderful friends and I am gratefull.

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Jul 10 - 12:04 PM

I misread the thread, then. I thought in one of your later remarks that the cat returned (and I couldn't resist the line from the traditional childrens song).

I think as we read this that we all hope we did a good job, think we did a good job, but we are setting them off on a path with so many things to sort out. And all we can do is be here for them and keep our fingers crossed.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)
From: katlaughing
Date: 31 Jul 10 - 02:51 PM

You're so right, SRS, in that being there for them, up to a point, is so very, very important.

I have some more good news. Colin called last night to give me his new phone number and to say he has moved to a small RV park where he is trading out handy-man jobs for the lot rent, restroom and showering facilities, etc. There are, I think he said, five cabins and eight parking spaces for RVs. It's only about 15 minutes from the mtn retreat ctr AND someone thinks they may have seen the cat when they were out hiking the other day, so he is up there, today, looking for Tito...it's been two weeks. The new digs also put him closer to what help is available plus there is a Wed. night addictions group which meets at the retreat ctr which he will be able to attend. Crossing our fingers he stays on this side of sobriety and gets the helps he needs.

Thanks, again, to you all, for your kindness, insights, and PMs, esp to those of you who have shared your own trials. May you all find peace and rest.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 10 - 02:54 PM

And you too.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)
From: katlaughing
Date: 31 Jul 10 - 05:17 PM

Thanks, gnu. Things are looking up: Tito is home! Just ate three cans of fishie and had lost a little weight, but no ticks or injuries. Looks as though he was hanging out in an empty trailer/caravan at the retreat center. As soon as Colin saw the area where Tito had been seen, he went right to the trailer, walked in and opened a cabinet and there was his kitty! YeeHaw!!

Thanks, again, for all of your good thoughts, etc.!

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 31 Jul 10 - 05:21 PM

It is written that all living things carry the seeds of its own destruction, but when it's a loved one it is not easy to accept.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 31 Jul 10 - 05:24 PM

Cats are smarter than humans sometimes. They need to be.

Thanks to the clone who added "he's okay" to the thread title when that became appropriate. I only saw the thread after that had been done, and it saved me getting too worried.

Very glad things seem to be looking up. It's rough being a parent sometimes, even when they've grown up. Rough being a child for that matter. Rough being a human. Or a cat.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's oka
From: Jean(eanjay)
Date: 01 Aug 10 - 03:28 PM

Kat, I am so pleased that things have turned out well. It is wonderful that you started this thread. Threads like this help other people with similar problems not to feel so isolated with their problems.

Jean

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for my son, please (he's okay!)
From: gnu
Date: 01 Aug 10 - 04:29 PM

Hope things continue to get better.