Lyr Req: I'm Goin' to a Hole in the Ground

Subject: 'I'm Goin' to a Hole in the Ground.'
From: Tony Burns
Date: 02 Nov 99 - 12:44 PM

Saw this title in another thread and couldn't resist creating this thread.

Please post the lyrics.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'I'm Goin' to a Hole in the Ground.'
From:
Date: 02 Nov 99 - 02:12 PM

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'I'm Goin' to a Hole in the Ground.'
From: Roger in Baltimore
Date: 02 Nov 99 - 02:19 PM

What thread was this in? There are too many for me to read 'em all. Gee, it sounds like I WISH I WAS A MOLE IN THE GROUND which is in the DT.

Or maybe it's a parody.

Roger in Baltimore

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'I'm Goin' to a Hole in the Ground.'
From: lamarca
Date: 02 Nov 99 - 02:24 PM

Roger, it was in the discussion of "Atheist Hymns". In regards to the afterlife, this fun E-mail was passed on to me by a co-worker, and I can't resist...

***********************************
The Thermodynamics of Hell

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law,(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave - therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell since Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "... that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you" - and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

The student received the only "A" given.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'I'm Goin' to a Hole in the Ground.'
From: Chet
Date: 03 Nov 99 - 09:18 AM

OK, if you're not going to give us the lyrics I'll have to write new ones for m'self. I assume also that the tune is "Mole in the Ground".

Chet

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'I'm Goin' to a Hole in the Ground.'
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 03 Nov 99 - 11:45 AM

"I'm goin' to a hole in the ground. 2x
If I acted like an ass, then I'll probably kill the grass
But I'm goin' to a hole in the ground.

I'm lyin' in that hole in the ground. 2x
Some joy I tried to bring, so you'll see me ev'ry spring
Sproutin' from that hole in the ground.

I may be in that hole in the ground. 2x
But those roses and those daisys, must be drivin' satan crazy
Even though I'm in that hole in the ground.

Not entirely "atheist", cause I got the devil in there..but he rhymes so well. C'mon Chet, it won't be hard to do better than that!

Rick

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'I'm Goin' to a Hole in the Ground.'
From: Roger the skiffler
Date: 03 Nov 99 - 11:50 AM

Great, Rick, the tune I'm hearing in my head to your words is the same as "Goin' down the road feelin' bad". (Got no musikal edukashun so chords & midis no use to me!)

Subject: Lyr Add: I'M GOIN' TO A HOLE IN THE GROUND
From: RWilhelm
Date: 03 Nov 99 - 03:58 PM

I hope it isn't an anticlimax at this point but here is the song I referred to in the "Atheist Hymns" thread:

I'M GOIN' TO A HOLE IN THE GROUND – R. Wilhelm

Well they say "seek and ye shall find "
And I know that it's the truth
'Cause seekin and a-findin
Is the way I spent my youth
I found Jesus in the springtime
I found Buddha in the fall
I found Krishna at the airport
L. Ron Hubbard at the Mall

Chorus:
Well when I die
It's just as well
Ain't goin to heaven
Ain't goin to hell
Ain't goin up
Ain't goin down
I'm just goin to a hole in the ground

They all gave me a book to read
And told me what to wear
They made me quit my drinkin
And they made me cut my hair
I gave them all my money
And all my worldly stuff
Then one day, broke and sober
I said "Boys, I've had enough"

Now I believe that life's a molecule
That crawled out of the slime
And the stars appeared at random
On the grid of space and time
It doesn't give me comfort
And it don't make me feel blessed
But at least I won't be bothered
When I take my final rest

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'I'm Goin' to a Hole in the Ground.'
From: Tony Burns
Date: 03 Nov 99 - 04:17 PM

Thanks RWilhelm. Shall we make up our own tune or can you post yours?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'I'm Goin' to a Hole in the Ground.'
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 03 Nov 99 - 11:12 PM

Cute song RWilhelm, sorry I jumped the gun.

Rick

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'I'm Goin' to a Hole in the Ground.'
From: Lorraine
Date: 04 Nov 99 - 06:50 AM

Glad you did.