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Lyr Add: I Wish I Was a Fascinating Bitch

GUEST,Allan S. 04 Feb 00 - 04:10 PM
Clinton Hammond2 04 Feb 00 - 04:13 PM
Peg 04 Feb 00 - 04:32 PM
GUEST,Allan S. 04 Feb 00 - 04:35 PM
annamill 04 Feb 00 - 04:45 PM
Clinton Hammond2 04 Feb 00 - 05:18 PM
JenEllen 04 Feb 00 - 06:38 PM
Sandy Paton 04 Feb 00 - 07:17 PM
Mbo 04 Feb 00 - 07:25 PM
annamill 04 Feb 00 - 08:10 PM
Little Neophyte 04 Feb 00 - 10:11 PM
GUEST,bb in tx 04 Feb 00 - 11:53 PM
JenEllen 05 Feb 00 - 03:45 AM
Tiger 06 Feb 00 - 07:45 PM
Amos 06 Feb 00 - 11:12 PM
Joe Offer 25 Aug 00 - 09:22 PM
Joe Offer 25 Aug 00 - 10:20 PM
Troll 25 Aug 00 - 11:03 PM
GUEST,Allan S. 26 Aug 00 - 11:11 AM
Joe Offer 26 Aug 00 - 01:24 PM
Troll 26 Aug 00 - 01:53 PM
Little Hawk 26 Aug 00 - 02:30 PM
Little Hawk 26 Aug 00 - 02:38 PM
Noreen 26 Aug 00 - 06:04 PM
catspaw49 26 Aug 00 - 06:09 PM
Little Hawk 26 Aug 00 - 09:56 PM
GUEST,106146.2313@compuserve.com 15 Apr 02 - 04:08 PM
Zany Mouse 15 Apr 02 - 07:14 PM
GUEST 16 Apr 02 - 03:10 AM
masato sakurai 16 Apr 02 - 03:57 AM
GUEST,Hannah 01 Apr 09 - 04:59 PM
The Villan 01 Apr 09 - 05:17 PM
Uncle_DaveO 01 Apr 09 - 05:36 PM
Paul Burke 01 Apr 09 - 06:17 PM
GUEST,Allan S 02 Apr 09 - 09:32 AM
GUEST 14 Sep 10 - 10:43 PM
Ebbie 15 Sep 10 - 01:01 AM
GUEST,Suzy in KY 19 Nov 10 - 06:21 PM
GUEST,TJ 13 Mar 11 - 10:34 AM
GUEST 16 Dec 12 - 05:27 AM
GUEST 19 Nov 13 - 01:31 AM
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Subject: Wish I was a fascinating bitch ^^
From: GUEST,Allan S.
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 04:10 PM

I just came across the following from my college days. Is it a song? poem? is there more ???

I wish I was a fascinating bitch
I'd never be poor, I'd always be rich

I'd live in a house with a little red light
I'd sleep all day and work all night

And every month I'd take a vacation
And drive my customers to Masturbation

And once a year I'd go hog wild
and have myself an Illegitimate child

I wish I was a fascinating bitch
Instead of a God damn lady
^^


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 04:13 PM

Be careful you don't offend the language police Allan...

;-)

Is there any more to that poem/song?? I know a few women who mihgt like it an awful lot!! LOL!!!!


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: Peg
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 04:32 PM

boy, clinton, you keep saying you are gonna drop it and you just take it into another thread don't you???

i have no problem with profanity; i have no problem with literature; i have no problem with free speech. i am very much anti-censorship. you seem to think someone thinking you are a bigot interferes with your "right to espress yourself."

too bad you don't get it; then again you seem to be too much of an idiot to get a whole lot...as evidenced by your lame excuses everywhere, and your need to have the last word everywhere (as I am sure you will attempt to do here as well)

like i said, i have no problem with language, per se; i work with it for a living.

i have a problem with bigots.

that would be you.


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: GUEST,Allan S.
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 04:35 PM

No this is all I have. It was given to me, The poem that is, by a young lady years ago Who did not know if there was any more. Just curious


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: annamill
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 04:45 PM

My first Mother-in Law, Choetze, use to sing this to my baby daughter while she bounced her on her knee. I now sing it to my beautiful Granddaughter. I guess it's being passed down through the family. (Well, it has been a very wealthy, artistic, theatre type family) Her words went like this:

I wish I was a fascinating bitch, I never would be poor, I always would be rich.

I'd sleep all day and work all night, and live in a house with a big red light.

Now there's fodder for ya, GG.

I'm sorry that I don't don't have further info for you, Allan.

Love, annap


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 05:18 PM

Can ya share the tune with us annap?

'Cause now I'mdying to hear it!!

LOL!!


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: JenEllen
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 06:38 PM

What? We fascinating ones have a theme song? Oh annap, please give a tune...


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch ^^
From: Sandy Paton
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 07:17 PM

I heard it this way:
I wish I was a fascinating bitch,
I'd never be poor; I'd always be rich.
I'd live in a house with a little red light,
Sleep all day and work all night.
And once every month I'd take a little rest
And drive my customers wild.
I wish I was a fascinating bitch,
Instead of an illegitimate child.
^^


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: Mbo
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 07:25 PM

Elle, I wouldn't call you--well--THAT.

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: annamill
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 08:10 PM

Well, I could sing it for you...;-) Maybe Sandy could give you the chords, please?

L., A.


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 10:11 PM

Allan, I'm not sure if there is any more verses but I heard the last line like this..................
I wish I were a fascinating bitch instead of a god damn virgin.

Now if you want to post the lyrics to Barnacle Bill The Sailer, you will get lots of extra verses.
BB


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: GUEST,bb in tx
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 11:53 PM

i heard or read a poem

it's so nice to wake up and not have to tell someone you love them when you dont love them anymore

dont need a f.b.


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: JenEllen
Date: 05 Feb 00 - 03:45 AM

Mob, that's because you are still a sweet young thing...Those of us who have been blessed consider it another laurel..


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: Tiger
Date: 06 Feb 00 - 07:45 PM

My mother has been after me for years to find all the lyrics to this song, so I'm waiting patiently. I hope the catters can come through.


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 00 - 11:12 PM

Well I have looked all over the usual search engines and not found it. Sorry. Those well known lines musta come from somewhere!

A


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: Joe Offer
Date: 25 Aug 00 - 09:22 PM

So, do we have the rest of the lyrics yet?
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: Joe Offer
Date: 25 Aug 00 - 10:20 PM

Somebody said in another thread this song was in New Song Fest, but I can't find it in either the new (1955) or old (1948) editions. Maybe I'm not looking in the right place?
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: Troll
Date: 25 Aug 00 - 11:03 PM

Joe; It was in the 1963 edition. Thanks to whoever refreshed this thread. As I recall, thats all the verses there were. I'd sure like a copy of ANY edition of The New Song Fest if anyone has any ideas .

troll

Joe: I think they brought out an edition in the 70's as well.

t


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: GUEST,Allan S.
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 11:11 AM

I have the 62 ed. and I dont see it in there Good song tho.


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Subject: ADD: Fascinating Lady ^^
From: Joe Offer
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 01:24 PM

Troll, as promised, here's what I found.
-Joe Offer-
FASCINATING LADY

[A]
Wish I was a fascinating lady
With a past that's fast and a future that is shady.
Sleep all day, work all night,
Live in a house with a little red light.
Once a month, I'd take a short vacation
And drive my customers wild.
Wish I was a fascinating lady
Instead of an innocent child.

[B]
Oh, I wish I were a fascinating bitch.
I'd never be poor, I'd always be rich.
I'd live in a house with a little red light,
And sleep all day and work all night.
And every once in a while I'd take a little rest,
Just to drive my customers wild.
Oh, I wish I were a fascinating bitch,
Instead of a legitimate child.

This bit of fantasizing is common on college campuses, a parallel to the ubiquitous legends of the beautiful young woman who put herself through school as a high-priced call girl.
This is seemingly a parody of a popular song, though the original has not turned up. "Fascinating Bitch" enjoyed a burst of popularity in the 1960s; the Indiana University Folklore Archives contain no less than forty variants of this, and it was reported at UCLA and at Berkeley about the same time. Barre Toelken included a variant of "B," apparently of the same age, in "The Folklore of Academe," in Brunvand, The Study of American Folklore (p. 379). "Fascinating Bitch," however, is said to be older; Cleveland (p. 95) states that it was sung by New Zealand troops in World War II, but gives no text.
The "A" version, plucked from the Indiana University Folklore Archive, dates from 1954 at Michigan State University; the "B" text is from the Taussig collection made in Berkeley between 1958 and 1963.

Source: The Erotic Muse: American Bawdy Songs, Second Edition, Ed Cray, 1992

JRO ^^


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: Troll
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 01:53 PM

Thanx Joe. I really appreciate it. The legend of the college call girl is a true one. In 1961 at the Univ. of Fla., I lived next door to two young women who always seemed to have a lot of company. I was sitting on my front porch the evening they were raided by the local vice squad. It caused quite a scandal, especially since there had just been a witch-hunt for gays the year before.

troll


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 02:30 PM

Fascinating bitch? Almost sounds like an oxymoron to me, but well...maybe...

Colleges thrive on witch hunts, as I recall.


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 02:38 PM

While you're at it, wish for a date with Winona Ryder, too. I've been doing that for years, and NOTHING has happened yet.


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: Noreen
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 06:04 PM

Good one Joe- I can see this going down a storm!! Now all we need is a tune...

Noreen


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 06:09 PM

Winona Ryder? Geeziz Hawk, you really are focked up!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 09:56 PM

Naw, Spaw. It's you. Winona has almost no flaws whatsoever...except she smokes. I could put up with that at least for a while, in Winona's case. Or Dylan's.

Spaw, you gotta clear your head...I suggest a nice walk in the moonlight, followed by a ducking in the rain barrel. We used to do that with kids at Rolling Thunder's camp on certain quite rare occasions (when they went completely berserk...I remember just 2 such incidents) and it worked great!


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: GUEST,106146.2313@compuserve.com
Date: 15 Apr 02 - 04:08 PM

I learned that this song was the favourite of that well known contralto Kathleen Ferrier from Lancashire, England. I learnt it whilst in the British Army in 1948.


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: Zany Mouse
Date: 15 Apr 02 - 07:14 PM

I remember the same version as Sandy has mentioned from the days of working in a Soho night club in my mis-spent youth. A guy called Harry Silver at the Beak Club in Beak Street used to sing it EVERY night!

Rhiannon


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Apr 02 - 03:10 AM

And yet another version, taken from this site:

I wish I were a fascinating lady
With a past that was great
And a future that was hazy
I'd sleep all day and work all night
And live in a house
With a little red light
And once a month
I'd take a short vacation
And leave all the men
In utter desperation
And once a year I'd go hog wild
And have myself an illigitimate child
I wish I were a fascinating lady
Instead of a Girl Scout Oh yeah
Instead of a Girl Scout One more time
Instead of a Girl Scout
Oh, yeah

Although I certainly don't remember singing any songs like that at our Girl Scout campouts!

Lin in Kansas


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: masato sakurai
Date: 16 Apr 02 - 03:57 AM

Still another version:

Fascinating Lady

Oh I wish I were a fascinating lady
with a future that's bright and a past that's shady!
Sleep all day, work all night,
and over my door would burn a big red light!
Once a month I'd take a short vacation---
drive my customers wild!!
Oh I wish I were a fascinating lady,
instead of a magistrate's child, oh yeah,
instead of a magistrate's child!

(From HERE)

~Masato


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: GUEST,Hannah
Date: 01 Apr 09 - 04:59 PM

This is the way I learned the song eons ago!

"I wish I was a fascinating lady
With a past thats fast and a future that is shady
I wish I had a big red light,
I'd sleep all day and I work all night.

Once a month I'd take a short vacation,
nearly drive the the boys to desperation,
Once a year I'd go hogwild,
and have myself an illegitimate child."


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: The Villan
Date: 01 Apr 09 - 05:17 PM

Kathleen Ferrier

Now there you go. She recorded a song that makes the back of my hairs stand on end and brings tears to my eyes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypePP1ENcmw

So relevant as my mother is in the last stages of her life at 93.


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 01 Apr 09 - 05:36 PM

Back in the early 60s, I believe it was, that the newspapers in Terre Haute, Indiana were full of the raid, arrest, and prosecution of a number of gals who were putting themselves through Indiana State University (not to be confused with the University of Indiana) by running a popular "house". They had, as I recall, a well-organized house, with rotation of "staff" through the week.

Terre Haute had a bunch of cathouses in those days, as EVERYBODY knew.

In fact the saying was that over a period of years a candidate for the mayoralty of Terre Haute made the announcement of his campaign by telling the press that "There is NO prostitution in Terre Haute!" That's how you knew he was running.

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: Paul Burke
Date: 01 Apr 09 - 06:17 PM

I thought this was a reference to Rolf Harris and the Court of King Erectecus:

The bitches who put itches in the britches
Of the boys who put the powder up the noses
Of the floozies of the whorum
Of the court of King Erectecus
Were just passing by...


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Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch
From: GUEST,Allan S
Date: 02 Apr 09 - 09:32 AM

Back again, The lady who I learned it from has since passed from this world. However there was a grad student at U-Conn 1952-5
who did practice the worlds oldest profession durring the summer months. As I recall she was a Phych. major. Always claimed it was cheeper to be one than to see one.   Ah for those long lost days


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Wish I Was a Fascinating Bitch
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Sep 10 - 10:43 PM

I found the lyrics to "Fascinatin' Bitch" scribbled on the back of a parts list for a WW2 machine gun. Never heard of the song before and so trying to find out more about it led me here. I also found this link to an audio clip of the song
http://horntip.com/html/songs_sorted_by_name/fascinating_bitch.htm


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Wish I Was a Fascinating Bitch
From: Ebbie
Date: 15 Sep 10 - 01:01 AM

On YouTube is an elderly woman singing it. Shows the tune clearly.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Wish I Was a Fascinating Bitch
From: GUEST,Suzy in KY
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 06:21 PM

My daughter learned the song while she was a counselor at Girl Scout Camp. The campers themselves didn't hear it, It was only for the older girls who were out of HS and working at the camp.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Wish I Was a Fascinating Bitch
From: GUEST,TJ
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 10:34 AM

My mom sang this song and many others like it. Her words are similar but the tune was different from the one posted on YouTube.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Wish I Was a Fascinating Bitch
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Dec 12 - 05:27 AM

I learned this song in 1944 when in high school in Orlando Fl. This version was similar to the last couple on this site but the last line went- Instead of a minister's child. I would love to know the origin.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Wish I Was a Fascinating Bitch
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Nov 13 - 01:31 AM

The REAL song that 6th graders sang as they jumped rope goes

I wish I was a fascinating lady
with a past that's fast
And future that is shady
and I'd sleep all day
and work all night
and live in a house
with a little red light.

Once a month
I'd take a short vacation
and drive my customers wild.
I wish I was a fascinating lady
with an illegitimate child!

Needless to say it wasn't sung around any grownups.


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