Song Challenge?

Subject: Song Challenge?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Jan 01 - 12:10 PM

My ISP is pretty slow today so someone else may want to fish up the correct info, but apparently a Boston funeral director has revived a lady in a body bag at his shop.

Seems she had tried to kill herself and only partially succeeded. And gurgled loud enough that the FD opened up the body bag for a look, and then cleared her airway and called 911. Sounds like the Medical Examiner had to declare her alive before the FD could release the living body to medical authorities, and wow!!! Whatta way to go, and come back again!

Gotta be at least one song in that one! Go to it, 'Cateers!

~S~

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: Trapper
Date: 25 Jan 01 - 12:16 PM

Hmm...

A little too grim for me, I'm afraid.

Sorry...

- Al

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: mousethief
Date: 25 Jan 01 - 01:28 PM

To quote National Lampoon....

That's not funny, that's sick.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Jan 01 - 01:47 PM

Didn't mandate funny.

~S~

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: Jimmy C
Date: 25 Jan 01 - 01:52 PM

I think the Scots have a few already " Will ye no come back again" and " Haste Ye Back".

Seriously though that is grim - just imagine how close she came to being buried alive ?.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: GUEST,LEJ
Date: 25 Jan 01 - 01:57 PM

That's not grim...if he hadn't checked, it would have been grim. Sounds like an episode of "Beat the Reaper" to me.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: mousethief
Date: 25 Jan 01 - 01:58 PM

THE POINT of the song challenge is funny. Look at some of the old ones.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: GUEST,LEJ
Date: 25 Jan 01 - 02:10 PM

Lighten up. She survived, didn't she?

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: mousethief
Date: 25 Jan 01 - 02:12 PM

Okay, LEJ, big man, YOU write a song.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: GUEST,LEJ
Date: 25 Jan 01 - 02:22 PM

Sure. Anything you say, Mousethief.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: NightWing
Date: 25 Jan 01 - 02:28 PM

She wouldn't have been buried alive. Doesn't anybody know what they do when they embalm a body? To put it at its most disgusting, they suck out all the body's blood and replace it with antifreeze.

Which gives rise to an interesting question. Would the embalmer have been guilty of some degree of homicide in this case had he succeeded? Certainly not in the first degree: no intent, no "malice aforethought". But had he succeeded, he certainly would have killed the woman.

Anyway, hmm, a song .....

Got to think long and hard about that one. (I'm not much of a songwriter)

BB,
NightWing

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 25 Jan 01 - 03:55 PM

No rules a song in a song challenge has to be funny. Most of the ones I've put in haven't turned out that way anyway. Even when they started out in that direction. I think I prefer happy to funny.

Still thinking on this one.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 25 Jan 01 - 04:18 PM

By request...

When Debbie Came Back from the Dead

When Debbie came back from the dead
The Chief Undertaker jumped out of his skin
Said "I picked the wrong day to quit drinking, again"
When Debbie came back from the dead

When Debbie came back from the dead
Her Doctor's demeanor was highly disjointed
The florists downtown were all disappointed
When Debbie came back from the dead

When Debbie came back from the dead
Her husband and kids went from wringing their hands
To planning a family trip to Disneyland
When Debbie came back from the dead

When Debbie came back from the dead
She said "remember when every car looks like a hearse
And it seems that your life just keeps getting worse
That Debbie came back from the dead"

Lonesome "Big Man" EJ

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Jan 01 - 04:35 PM

Yes! Good one!

You spotted the conflict of interest there, with the florists, anyhow.

He didn't HAVE to revive her, of course, that FD. Think of the potential ethical dilemmas. Several. Good guy didn't stop to think, and just ACTED. You could extrapolate a whole study on human nature from this one event.

LEJ, the Disney thing-- priceless.

~S~

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: Bradypus
Date: 25 Jan 01 - 05:48 PM

Agree that there's no need for song challenges to be funny. It's a while since we've had a serious one, but some of the earlier ones weren't simply humorous - try numbers 4, 20 and 23 to see us in more serious mood.

I must admit when I read this earlier today I couldn't find any inspiration in it - I was thinking funny. But as a serious topic ...

Bradypus

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 26 Jan 01 - 05:17 AM

Well I said I'd be thinking about this one, and here's what I thought. First draft anyway:

The City of the Dead

They have done with all their pains and all their weeping,
And all their weary troubles now are past
As round this room at last they lie here sleeping –
And I am here alone to guard their rest.
Where the living move like ghosts and talk in whispers.
This City of the Dead is not for you.

Now here's a man so worn – and oh the pity,
I see he died beneath the surgeon's knife.
And here's a girl – and oh but she was pretty,
And yet it seems she chose to take her life.
And the living move like ghosts and talk in whispers.
This City of the Dead is not for you.

Poor lass, God knows, she must have had her reasons
Well, rest in peace, until it's time to rise."
And I stood there, open-mouthed and barely breathing,
To see her move and open up her eyes.
Where the living move like ghosts and talk in whispers.
This City of the Dead is not for you.

And there's ringing bells, and fierce determination
To win her back, and bring her back, poor girl.
Till sleeping in a bed, like any patient,
She'll wake once more and rise to face the world.
Till the living move like ghosts and talk in whispers.
This City of the Dead is not for you.

And I hope to God her troubles will have passed now,
And she will turn herself to live instead
And she will leave my dead to lie in peace now,
And trouble not this City of the Dead
Where the living move like ghosts and talk in whispers.
This City of the Dead is not for you.

They have done with all their pains and all their weeping,
And all their weary troubles now are past
As round this room at last they lie here sleeping –
And I am here alone to guard their rest.
Where the living move like ghosts and talk in whispers.
This City of the Dead is not for you.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: Amergin
Date: 26 Jan 01 - 05:36 AM

Might just have to give this bastard a shot myself....

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Jan 01 - 11:04 AM

21 gun salute, McGrath. I read it aloud to Hardi... with chills.

A good friend of ours is a FD. We are some of the few people he can talk with who treat him like a person and can laugh with him-- while respecting him-- you know, not be scared about what he does, what he knows. I think I will share this thread with him when it's time to... lay it to rest!

Nathan-- I can't wait. Tuck a Sugar Dog in your lap if you get stuck for a line.

~Susan

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: MMario
Date: 26 Jan 01 - 11:08 AM

MoH - I have gooseflesh reading that; chills running up and down - the hair raising on the back of my neck. eerie. incredible. Haven't reacted to reading lyrics like that in a long time; hearing them yes...

thank you. It is a privilige to read words with such power in them.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 26 Jan 01 - 12:43 PM

Thanks - that second verse, rhyming pity and pretty seemed a bit trite - youi see it coming up. So here's a version I think works better - I tend to like para-rhymes quite often:

Now here's a man, a worn and broken body -
I see he died beneath the surgeon's knife.
And here's a girl – so young and, oh the pity,
Somehow it seems she chose to take her life.
And the living move like ghosts and talk in whispers.
This City of the Dead is not for you.

And I'm with you WYSIWYG on that. Disrespect for people who work with the dead is just a step away from disrespect to the dead.

Mind, there's always been a disquiet about gravediggers - Georges Brassens had a fine song (well all his songs are fine songs) about exactly that, from the point of view of a gravedigger. It's called Le Fossoyeur If your friend can make sense of the French, I reckion he'd like it. (And that comes from a site with a massive collection of chansonnier songs which I put in the links page).

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: GUEST,LEJ
Date: 26 Jan 01 - 12:57 PM

Well done, McG

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Jan 01 - 01:06 PM

Yup, but respect without humor is flat beer.

~S~

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: Bradypus
Date: 26 Jan 01 - 04:25 PM

Wonderful song, McGrath. It really captures the feeling.

Here's my attempt, told from the opposite point of view:

Lazarus Child

They say it's important to know when you've had enough.
I've had enough.
They say that depression is cured if you take the right pills
I don't buy that stuff
They say smile at poverty, look on the bright side of life
It rings in my head
I've got nothing, I'm no-one, I'm loveless, I'm weary, I'm tired
I wish I was dead

They said take the tablets. I took them and stashed them away
I'd nothing to loose
Don't drink with the tablets, they said, so I knew what to do
A bottle of booze
And then came the sleeping, the slipping, the dying, the end
No pain in my head
The ambulance, the hospital, the doctors, the nurses, the end
Certified dead

The cold of the mortuary entered my heart and my soul
A flicker of light
A breath, and a moan, and a sigh, a shiver, a gasp
Echoes the night
She's alive! She might live! Hurry, resuscitate if you can
The whole place goes wild
Will I live? Can I choose to come back? Born again?
Lazarus child

(I wondered about a fourth verse, but thought it best just to leave it there)

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: MMario
Date: 26 Jan 01 - 04:27 PM

wow. twice in one day. (chills and gooseflesh) You guys are too good.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: The Sugar Dog (inactive)
Date: 26 Jan 01 - 09:46 PM

Spookuhlicious. Stark, edgy, spare. Ends just right.. so ambiguous. Leaves so much to us to dwell on.

Somebuddy tell the Goddess we need awards gotten ready for this one. I would not presume.

~Susan (yes I'm Sugar Dog also)

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 26 Jan 01 - 10:24 PM

I think she might be on her travels right now.

Fine song there Bradypus, leaves it open how it's going to work out. (Resist the temptation to repeat the first verse at the end, because thta woudl close it down, and probably leave half the listeners feeling suicidal.)

Thanks for setting us this challenging challenge. I'm hoping we'll have afew more variations on the subject. (I like Lonesome's too, especially Disneyland!)

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Jan 01 - 11:04 PM

Makes you keep thinking, doesn't it?

I was going to PM some of the more prolific song challengers of the past but I am tied up this weekend completing our insurance claim. Volunteers?

Maybe we should invite someone to come up with some spurious temporary awards till she gets back. Any nominees?

And ya know... I don't think we should limit this to non-humorous approaches. I think humor and respect could be managed. If I weren't so tired I'd take a whack at it myself.

~Susan

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 27 Jan 01 - 09:20 AM

Lonesome's song manages to balance the humour with respect, which isn't too easy. Most funerals have a humorous side to it, it's a way of breaking the tension.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Jan 01 - 10:10 AM

Can't get much funnier than the priest falling into the open grave at the graveside service. I thought my husband knew the only one who had done that, but MMario knows one, too.

~S~

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jan 01 - 01:22 PM

Gurgle From the Bag

(Tune: Whiskey In the Jar)
Click to Play

As I was strolling through the city's mortuary,
A'sipping of a whiskey-flask, and humming something airy,
I paused in reflection at the corpses all around me
And thought of one called Jenny, whose beauty did astound me

Whack, Jump, Jehosophat!
Whack, Jump, Jehosphat!
There's a gurgle from the bag!

She was pale and she was lovely, and her hair fell down like water,
The fairest of them all, Missus Riley's deadest daughter,
She had found herself young Donald, and a trouseeau very bridal,
But the bloody git   had left her, and she'd gotten suicidal

Whack, Jump, Jehosophat!
Whack, Jump, Jehosphat!
There's a gurgle from the bag!

My thought was interrupted, then, by a gentle distant mumble
That came from in the body bag where Jenny's corpse had tumbled!
The hairs on me neck stood up, like a little frightened nipper!
And I rolled out young Jenny's drawer and I opened up her zipper!

Whack, Jump, Jehosophat!
Whack, Jump, Jehosphat!
There's a gurgle from the bag!

Well her eyes were very bloodshot, from the poison that she'd taken,
But when she started rolling them, I was seriously shaken!
But I kept my wits about me, and rose to the situation,
And I took her in my arms, using mouth resuscitation!

Whack, Jump, Jehosophat!
Whack, Jump, Jehosphat!
There's a gurgle from the bag!

Well the whiskey I'd been drinking got into her lungs directly,
And it wasn't very long before she began to breath correctly,
She climbed down from that morgue display, in a manner most attractin'
And the color in her cheeks prevoked a mostly male reaction,

Whack, Jump, Jehosophat!
Whack, Jump, Jehosphat!
There's a gurgle from the bag!

It has been a month or more, since we met  that evening fateful,
And for my ministrations, Little Jen has proved most grateful.
So of a chilly night, now, in me walk up pad in Leicester,
You can see the blankets moving, as I do my best to test her,

Whack, Jump, Jehosophat!
Whack, Jump, Jehosphat!
There's a gurgle from the bag!
 

Regards,
 

A.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: GUEST,LEJ
Date: 27 Jan 01 - 02:10 PM

Amos, with grim determination, you've come up with something hilarious. Terribly funny!(?)

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: Sorcha
Date: 27 Jan 01 - 02:18 PM

Oh lordy Amos, that is funny!! With a little work, you can turn tragedy into humor, and back again!!

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jan 01 - 02:45 PM

Well, thanks, folks; just can't sit still for too much Noir. But say, where's that Gaelic Goddess?? Does she know there's a rogue Song Challenge going on? We'll all be struck with mint-colored lightning if we keep this up!

:>)) A

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Jan 01 - 03:32 PM

Amos,

I believe I need resuscitation now myself. You stinker. I have drowned myself in giggles! While I'm asleep resting from insurance rigors, you come up with this! I was wondering when you'd find it!

No rogues here, BTW. Maybe you should do the prizes, as her illicit representative.

(I hope he didn't find the Curmudgeon thread too!)

~Susan

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 28 Jan 01 - 06:59 PM

Amergin hasn't showed up yet with the song he was thinking about making...And there's plenty more.

So far it's two solemn and two light-hearted. At least we need a tie-breaker.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: Amergin
Date: 29 Jan 01 - 04:10 AM

Well, it looks like it's three to two for solemn.....

Only Your Soul
(tune: Only Our Rivers)

When the sun shines in the darkness,
And the hills sink down into the cold sea,
When silence echoes within the city,
It's then that my soul will be free.
I wander the halls of my memories,
And still in the dark mirror I see,
A woman that has never been happy,
And only her soul will run free.

She drinks to the death of her body
Swallowing pills as she cries
Refusing to live in the chains of depression
Her future life was to be denied.
Oh, what secrets do you hold in your memory?
What scars do you bear that none can see?
Will you go like the stars in the morning
And will only your dear soul run free?

What evils forced you into hiding?
What despair drove you to slowly die?
What heartbreak broke your spirit down?
As you laid there, I heard your cry....
What good is life when you're dying?
What good is hope when there's pain?
When sorrow darkens the blazing sunshine
And still only your soul will run free.

Amergin

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: MMario
Date: 29 Jan 01 - 08:26 AM

a good weekend for the challenged, it seems. well done!

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: Luke
Date: 29 Jan 01 - 10:13 AM

I like her poiint of view. Excuse me if I 'm not synical enough for ya'll

To Die For


At last I lay here safe and sound and free of tribulation
I took the route dispised by all, dispite their supplication
It was my life do give or take my one and only power
And now I lay here sure that I am in my final hour

I've seen the angels flying round I've heard their silent singing
Translucent, airy, yet profound the melody is ringing
Surely this is worth the price I've paid for all my lonely grieving
For there is no music half as sweet on this earth that I am leaving

If just one person really cared or needed me for living
I'd gladly stayed oh how I prayed for purpose or for giving
But emptiness has took it's toll and now as go dying
At least theres no-one who will waste a tear on me a crying

When I was young I used to dream of young men come a courting
We'ed walk through fields of flowers gayly laughing and cavorting
But dreams have led me to this place where dreams are all thats missing
To sleep to sleep and not to yearn for flowers or for kissing

But now whats this I'm sure I feel my lips upon anothers
So urgently now kissing me hot breath about to smother
Am I alive or have the heavenly angels come to take me
But surely they would gently lead and not attempt to shake me

I feel my eyes blink open and through the fog I'm seeing
A young mans face is smiling down he's happy that I'm breathing
I'm glad for once that I'm alive if only just for his sake
He's hugging me and warming me oh what lovely heartache

I've failed to leave this lonely place but now it's not so lonely
I've finally felt a warm embrace it was my one and only
Just one embrace can be so much to ring your hands and cry for
And feeling just that one sweet kiss more than enough to die for

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 29 Jan 01 - 10:15 AM

Dark, dark, dark.... tasting of raw molasses, sweetness just beneath the bitterness... good job.

Now, Nathan, for me? Another one, from the sunshine side? Maybe? For me?

~S~

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 29 Jan 01 - 10:37 AM

Luke, we cross posted.... this is lovely... the angel line in particular, beautifully done!

~S~

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: Amergin
Date: 29 Jan 01 - 01:25 PM

Susan, I would love, too...but I have my own experiences with suicidal tendencies....plus, just a few minutes ago I found out (from a very good friend) how close this is actually hitting home for me....

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 29 Jan 01 - 01:33 PM

Sweetie... I know, at least the first part. That's why I'm being a pushy broad. Let's continue this in e-mail. OK?

~Sugar Dog

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: Áine
Date: 21 Feb 01 - 10:45 PM

Who the hecky darn is WYSIWYG, Sugar Dog, Motormouse, anyway??? ;-) Why do I have a feeling that I've been gone too long???

Congrats, cudos and thanks to all of you Mudcatters for keeping the songs/challenges going whilst I was . . . well, I've sure you've heard the story by now, so, I won't bore y'all with the gory details...

Here are your well deserved Golden Cow Chip Awards for this 'unofficial' Challenge -- the subject of which kinda puts me in mind of 'The Challenge Shall Rise Again' -- sorry, really bad pun...I'll just list the winners now...

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon (The Harp Ribbon is given for being able to make The Keeper of the Book fall on the floor laughing OR make her short out her keyboard with tears):
The City of the Dead by McGrath of Harlow
Lazarus Child by Bradypus
Only Your Soul by Amergin
To Die For by Luke
When Debbie Came Back From The Dead by Lonesome EJ

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Guinness Crest (The Guinness Crest is awarded for causing both Harp Ribbon conditions within one song):
Gurgle From The Bag by Amos

Well done, everyone!

All the best, Áine

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Feb 01 - 11:40 PM

Oh I just had a little name change, darlin', and sprouted a second membership as well. There was a Mudcat Name Change thread where I listed a zillion aliases.

Maybe now that the Goddess has anointed the thread there will be more entries.

Come on you dozey lot!

~Susan AKA Praise AKA.... you name it, I been it, I think!

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: Mr Red
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 06:08 PM

I always said "you can write song about anything" though many acquaintaqnces pooh pooh the notion.

Thanks for the proof folks.

Puts me in mind of the "Ballad of Andrew Macrew" by Don Maclean. What a wordsmith!

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 07:10 PM

Don't forget Robert Service's Blasphemous Bill McKie.

He was very obstinate.

~S~

Subject: RE: Song Challenge?
From: John Hardly
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 09:26 PM

Luke,

That was way too far above ordinary to pop in and out of this thread without expressing my appreciation for your sharing of your talent.

Most excellent, most moving.

JH