Lyr Req: Loaded Pistol Loaded Dice (Phil Harris)

Subject: Phil Harris's Loaded Pistols
From: bill\sables
Date: 26 Mar 01 - 08:45 AM

I am looking for the words of Phil Harris's "Loaded Pistols and Loaded Dice" I knew it when I was a kid but can't remember any of the words. Also Jimmy Durante's "The Day I Read A Book2

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Phil Harris's Loaded Pistols
From: Greyeyes
Date: 26 Mar 01 - 04:47 PM

Click here to hear a recording of "Loaded Pistols, Loaded Dice." Can't find the lyrics anywhere.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Phil Harris's Loaded Pistols
From: Greyeyes
Date: 26 Mar 01 - 05:05 PM

Click here for Durante singing "The Day I read a Book", but you only get 30 seconds, best I can do.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Phil Harris's Loaded Pistols
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 26 Mar 01 - 06:57 PM

Bill, if you dont find it, I think I can remember most, if not all of it. Let me know. Did you get the CD?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Phil Harris's Loaded Pistols
From: bill\sables
Date: 27 Mar 01 - 04:20 AM

Thanks Greyeyes They were the songs I learned from my dad when I was little and they bring back great memories. Kendall I did get the CD, I will sond mine soon.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Phil Harris's Loaded Pistols
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 27 Mar 01 - 08:56 AM

There is something wrong here...I clicked on Loaded pistols and hit play, but, some other piece started to play. Wa hoppen?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Phil Harris's Loaded Pistols
From: bill\sables
Date: 27 Mar 01 - 06:26 PM

It worked OK for me Kendall.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Phil Harris's Loaded Pistols
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 27 Mar 01 - 07:22 PM

Good Bill, you were the one who asked for it. Can you make out the lyrics?

Subject: Lyr Add: LOADED PISTOL, LOADED DICE (Phil Harris)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 05 Jun 02 - 02:09 AM

Lyrics transcribed from the sound file at http://www.geocities.com/BourbonStreet/4264/juke03.htm

LOADED PISTOL, LOADED DICE
(Johnny Lange and Hy Heath)
Performed by Phil Harris & His Orchestra
RCA Victor 20-2575-A

[The verses are recited; the chorus is sung.]

Now, Trigger Jackson was a gamblin' cub who joined the Uptown Social Club
Where shootin' dice was ever'body's whim.
But ev'ry time he rolled the dice, he found them dice as cold as ice.
It seems they favored ever'one but him.
Then Trigger stopped the game and said, "I'm not the doubtin' kind,
Uh, but there's a slight suspicion that keeps runnin' th'ough my mind.
Somehow it don't seem nat'ral you make points with so much ease
While all I th'ow is boxcars and a flock o' twos an' threes.
An' fu'thermore I'm statin' I don't like the dice you use.
I notice one is all fives an' the other one is twos.
I'm familiar with the house rules. I know they're plainly writ.
But I'm gonna revise 'em and change 'em up a bit."

CHO: Loaded pistol an' loaded dice.
Take my warnin' or pay the price,
'Cause it ain't healthy to try it twice.
Loaded pistol an' loaded dice.

"Now, just to make it plain so that you all'll understand,
This ain't no water pistol that I'm holdin' in my hand.
We gonna get some new dice down at the co'ner sto',
And then we gonna jerk that army blanket off the flo'.
Now, a word to you short rollers. Here's the thing I recommend:
Git distance with them dice when I'm on the fadin' end (?).
I hope the situation's clear to ever'one in this room,
And now, if we all is agreed, suppose that we resume." CHO.

Now Trigger's luck was gettin' worse an' soon he had an empty purse.
He stooped an' turned his back upon the crowd.
He went down an' he shoot for ten. He shot the works an' lost again,
And then he rose and spoke in accents loud.
"Now, what I got to say is final. We ain' gonna put this to no vote.
There's somethin' in my craw and it's coming out a ... quote.
Now, when it comes yo' shot, make them iv'ries bounce about,
And I ask you very kindly, leave them tops and bottoms out.
Now jest let me hear 'em cackle. I wants to hear 'em moan an' shine.
And don't forget to shoot with only one pair at a time.
Now here's somethin' else I'm gonna tell you one and all:
Now when you throw them dice, make 'em bounce against the wall.
That's all for this evenin', but I want my dough I lost to you.
I want that eight bucks f'om my pocket and that ten bucks f'om m' shoe." CHO.

"And now that I'm about to go, brothers, I'm 'o' leave you with this advice:
You cain't beat a loaded pistol with a pair o' loaded dice."

[The recording by Phil Harris has been reissued on "My Kind of Country," Pearl CD #7831, 1999. There is also a recording called "Loaded Pistol" by Gene Autry on "Singing Cowboy, Chapter One," Varese CD #5840, 1997.]

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Phil Harris's Loaded Pistols
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 22 May 04 - 12:04 AM

There's a lengthy sound clip for (I Remember) The Day I read a Book here by Bill Schontz, who does a very nice Durante impersonation!

It's available on Bill Shontz's album, The Day I Read A Book,
© 1998 Duckbill's Music, available from the same site.

Lin

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Phil Harris's Loaded Pistols
From: s&r
Date: 22 May 04 - 07:28 PM

Did Phil Harris do a similar thing called Darktown Poker Club?

stu

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Phil Harris's Loaded Pistols
From: Gypsy
Date: 22 May 04 - 07:29 PM

Nice! I LOVE Phil Harris!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Phil Harris's Loaded Pistols
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 24 May 04 - 08:56 AM

There's another thread called Lyr Req: The Day I Read A Book - Durante. I suggest any further discussion of that song be continued in that thread.

Subject: Lyr Add: DARKTOWN POKER CLUB
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 06 Oct 07 - 05:16 PM

Delayed response to above enquiry: "Did Phil Harris do a similar thing called Darktown Poker Club?"

DARKTOWN POKER CLUB
(Jean Havez - Bert Williams - William H. Vodery)

Bill Jackson was a poor old dub who joined the Darktown Poker Club
And he cursed the day and he said he'd join
His money used to go like it had wings if he yelled queens someone had kings
And each night he would contribute all his coin
He said I'll play 'em tight tonight no bobtail flushes gonna make me bite
When I go in buddy my hand will be a peach
And he played them tight but he lost his pile and ol' Bill got peevish after a while
So he rose looked all around and made this speech

He said you all see this brand new razor I had it sharpened just today
And I'm gonna tell you there's brand new rules
That you gonna follow when you play
Keep your hands above the table when you dealing please
Don't be stickin' none of them aces down there between your knees
Don't go makin' them funny signs like you tryin' to tip off your hand
You just keen talkin' in American sonny boy so Bill can understand
Don't be dealin' the bottom of the deck ooh boy that's rough
And remember them poker friends you get five that's enough
When you bet put up them chips cause I don't like it when you shy
When you broke oh then get some I'm gonna be here by and by
You pass them cards to ol' Bill but everytime before you deal
Then if anything's wrong I'm gonna see
Now you ain't gonna play this game accordin' to Mr Hoyle
You all play this game accordin' to me

Now sittin' right there in that there clan there chance to be a one-eyed man
And Bill kept watchin' him out the corner of his eye
This one-eye man'd deal and then he'd lose ol' Bill another five or ten
And Bill got up looked all around him with a sigh
He said Lord this is an awful shame there's someone cheatin' in this here game
It ain't no do for me to name the guy
So I'll refrain from mentioning the party's name
If I catch him cheatin' just once again
I'm gonna take my fist and close that other eye

You see this brand new razor I had it sharpened just today
Now I'm gonna pass some brand new rules you follow when you play
Keep them bony fingers on the table when you're dealin' please
Don't be stickin' none of them aces down there tween your knees
Don't be makin' none of them funny signs
Like you're tryin' to tip off your hand
You just keep talkin' in American big AAA that I'll understand
Don't be dealin' off the bottom of the deck friend cause that's rough
And remember friend five cards hole that's enough
When you bet put up them chips I don't like it when you shy
When you broke oh then get some I'm gonna be here by and by
You pass them cards to ol' Bill but everytime before you deal
Then if anything's wrong good neighbor I'm gonna see
Now you ain't gonna play this game accordin' to Mr Hoyle
You all play this game accordin' to me
Lloyd if you break the seal on that new deck of bicycles
We'll go on from there

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Loaded Pistol Loaded Dice (Phil Harris)
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Apr 10 - 03:49 PM

Hi i wonder if you managed to get the song loaded pistol loaded dice ..Im looking for it very urgently .i had a uncle who passed at weekend and thar song was his party peace now the family are trying to find it can anyone help plz    mazza

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Loaded Pistol Loaded Dice (Phil Harris)
From: kendall
Date: 05 Apr 10 - 07:47 PM

The way I heard Loaded pistols...was, ..he went down in his shoe for ten..