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Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)

DigiTrad:
HUMORESQUE
HUMORESQUE 2


Related threads:
Lyr Req: Gentlemen should please refrain (21)
Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) (66)
Humoresque and Swannee River (22)
Lyr Req: Footsteps on my dashboard upside-down (14)
Lyr Req: Footprints on the Windshield Upside Down (9)


Roger in Baltimore 19 Jun 98 - 05:23 PM
Earl 20 Jun 98 - 09:44 AM
Mr Happy 09 Jan 03 - 09:04 AM
Bullfrog Jones 09 Jan 03 - 09:09 AM
IanC 09 Jan 03 - 09:09 AM
Mr Happy 09 Jan 03 - 09:12 AM
IanC 09 Jan 03 - 09:14 AM
catspaw49 09 Jan 03 - 09:41 AM
IanC 09 Jan 03 - 09:48 AM
Mr Happy 09 Jan 03 - 09:57 AM
catspaw49 09 Jan 03 - 10:28 AM
Mr Happy 09 Jan 03 - 10:30 AM
Bullfrog Jones 09 Jan 03 - 10:32 AM
Mr Happy 09 Jan 03 - 10:33 AM
IanC 09 Jan 03 - 10:35 AM
catspaw49 09 Jan 03 - 10:40 AM
catspaw49 09 Jan 03 - 10:43 AM
IanC 09 Jan 03 - 10:46 AM
catspaw49 09 Jan 03 - 10:46 AM
Mr Happy 09 Jan 03 - 10:57 AM
catspaw49 09 Jan 03 - 11:00 AM
catspaw49 09 Jan 03 - 11:01 AM
IanC 09 Jan 03 - 11:01 AM
Mr Happy 09 Jan 03 - 11:06 AM
Noreen 09 Jan 03 - 11:36 AM
GUEST,Pete 09 Jan 03 - 11:41 AM
Mr Happy 09 Jan 03 - 11:43 AM
Jim Colbert 09 Jan 03 - 11:56 AM
GUEST,Q 09 Jan 03 - 01:33 PM
Schantieman 09 Jan 03 - 01:42 PM
GUEST,Q 09 Jan 03 - 01:45 PM
GUEST,Guest 10 Jan 03 - 12:24 PM
Cluin 10 Jan 03 - 12:49 PM
Joe_F 10 Jan 03 - 07:41 PM
GUEST,Compton 10 Jan 03 - 08:04 PM
Mudlark 10 Jan 03 - 10:11 PM
Cluin 12 Jan 03 - 05:25 PM
EBarnacle1 13 Jan 03 - 03:00 AM
masato sakurai 13 Jan 03 - 04:43 AM
masato sakurai 13 Jan 03 - 04:45 AM
Lanfranc 13 Jan 03 - 05:03 AM
GUEST,Q 13 Jan 03 - 03:43 PM
dick greenhaus 13 Jan 03 - 10:50 PM
GUEST,Q 13 Jan 03 - 11:33 PM
Charley Noble 14 Jan 03 - 08:30 AM
Wilfried Schaum 14 Jan 03 - 09:15 AM
GUEST,c e allen 05 Oct 05 - 03:07 PM
Mark Cohen 06 Oct 05 - 01:02 AM
JohnInKansas 06 Oct 05 - 02:38 AM
pavane 14 Oct 08 - 03:55 AM
Joe_F 14 Oct 08 - 08:12 PM
GUEST,Stuarticus Maximus 30 Mar 10 - 07:51 PM
MGM∑Lion 30 Mar 10 - 11:26 PM
MGM∑Lion 31 Mar 10 - 09:58 PM
GUEST,John 07 Jan 12 - 03:57 PM
GUEST 01 Feb 12 - 06:02 PM
JohnInKansas 01 Feb 12 - 09:11 PM
GUEST,marilyn 07 Feb 12 - 10:14 PM
Lighter 08 Feb 12 - 11:01 AM
dick greenhaus 08 Feb 12 - 04:25 PM
GUEST 28 Sep 12 - 01:15 PM
GUEST,Raymondi 28 Feb 13 - 02:08 PM
kendall 28 Feb 13 - 02:30 PM
Mr Happy 16 Jul 13 - 05:20 AM
GUEST 02 Mar 14 - 11:02 AM
GUEST 02 Mar 14 - 11:17 AM
Joe_F 02 Mar 14 - 08:17 PM
GUEST,Guest 14 Oct 14 - 12:31 PM
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Subject: Lyr Add: HUMORESQUE
From: Roger in Baltimore
Date: 19 Jun 98 - 05:23 PM

Joe, More verses.

    When you have a natural purge,
    Of after you have had a purge,
    The management requests you learn the art,
    Of using roses or wisteria,
    Twixt the parts of your posterior,
    Guaranteed to camoflage a fart.

    When you have to pass some water,
    Do it in the place you oughter.
    Please, don't use my hat,
    And be a pal.
    Picture, please, your consternation,
    And your righteous indignation,
    If you found your hat a urinal.

    Nothing ever looks much better,
    Than a girl who wears a sweater.
    Though she may not be as big as she appears.
    Remember, boys, before you wed 'er,
    Best investigate the sweater,
    Or your wedding night might end in tears.

    Credited M: Dvorak W:who would admit to it.

    From "The Panic is On" songbook compiled by Jerry Silverman.

Some of you may be too young to realize the reason for these restrictions. Bathrooms in trains used to empty right onto the tracks. It's not too bad a technique if you are in the middle of cornfields and traveling at 30 MPH. However, it is a major problem when the train is sitting still at a heavily travelled station.

A favorite group of mine "Hot Soup' recorded this on their debut album. It has a certain different flavor sung by three female voices. It is unfortunate they did not know all of the verses.

Roger in Baltimore


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Subject: RE: ADD LYR: Humoresque
From: Earl
Date: 20 Jun 98 - 09:44 AM

According to _The Erotic Muse_ by Ed CRay, the first verse was written by Supreme Court justice William O. Douglas and Yale law professor Thurman Arnold. They were inspired by a sign in the toilet of a train. They set it to the tune by Dvorak and immediatly taught it to all the passengers. This was, I guess, before he was on the Supreme Court.


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Subject: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: Mr Happy
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:04 AM

Anybody got the words to this one?

don't know the title but here's some of the words I remember:

'If you want to pass some water, kindly go & call the porter
He'll place a vessel in the vestibule
We encourage constipation while the train is in the station'


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: Bullfrog Jones
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:09 AM

A quick All The Web search on the first 7 words brought up this

The train

While the train is in the station
Please refrain from urination
Have regard for railway property
If you want to pass some water
Go and ask the railway-porter
He will show you the lavatory

While the train is stationary
And you have to go quite heavy
Do not drop your oiss into the train
From the carriage you must wander
And the penny you must squander
And relief yourself with might and pain.

BJ


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: IanC
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:09 AM

called "Gentlement will please refrain ..." it's a rugby song.

:-)


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: Mr Happy
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:12 AM

thanks very much- i'll check out dt & web for whole thing now i know the title.

cheers,

mr h


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Subject: Lyr Add: Gentlemen Should Please Refrain
From: IanC
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:14 AM

Here's a more complete version from here among other places.


Gentlemen Should Please Refrain

Passengers will please refrain
From flushing toilets while the train
Is standing in the station for a while.
We encourage constipation
While the train is in the station.
Cross your legs and grit your teeth and smile.

Piddling while the train is moving
Is another way of proving
That control of hand and eye is sure.
We like to keep our toilets neat
So please don't s**t upon the seat
Or, what is worse, excrete upon the floor.

In the carriage there's a chain
And if you pull it, it stops the train
There's a twenty-five pound fine if you're unwise
So, ladies if you're being molested
Wait until you've been divested
It isn't worth five fivers other wise

Gentlemen will please refrain
From passing water while the train
Is standing at the station in full view
'Cos railway workers (Tramps and hoboes) underneath
May cop it in the eyes and teeth
And they don't like it: how the hell would you
(But that's what comes of being underdog.)

Gentlemen please be discreet
When using the toilet lift the seat
The rocking motion may make you miss the pan
And lady passengers following on
May get it on their sit-upon
'Cos they can't stand and wee-wee like a man


:-)


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:41 AM

Just an idle thought, but did any of you bother to check the forum and the DT??? I thought not...........If you had, 1) You would not have started this thread and 2) you'd find that not only are words in the DT, but additional ones plus a discussion of the song takes place on a couple of previous threads.

Mr. Happy, are you also fat and dumb, as in fat, dumb, and happy? You've been around here long enough to learn how to use the 'Cat to find things and if you haven't learned, give it a try!!!!! Enter a few words in the search box and see what pops up!! Before you start a thread you are always asked to check the forum and the DT. My best suggestion is that do just that......just an idle thought mind you.......

......geeziz..................

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: IanC
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:48 AM

Well, 'spaw ... if you want to know, the Supersearch isn't working for me so how could I have done that?

Is it working for you, then? I see you posted the useful link to the thread.

;-)


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: Mr Happy
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:57 AM

catspaw49,

i resemble those remarks- i surely checked the dt & forum search prior to posting but it didn't come up with anything.

anyway u old fart- i don't need to justify what i do on here to u- don't worry b happy


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:28 AM

Yeah, well........Here with two of the threads listed also

And I don't know if your SS is working or not Mr. FDH, but try huh?

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: Mr Happy
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:30 AM

catspaw49,

i've checked the dt & forum again- there's no sign of this song there at all- please explain


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: Bullfrog Jones
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:32 AM

Slow day in the Spaw household, then!

BJ


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: Mr Happy
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:33 AM

s49,

are you bullshitting me?- your supposed link to the song doesn'y work at all


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: IanC
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:35 AM

Thanks 'spaw

Just found the DT version by putting 2753 in the search.

What is in DT looks like a derivative of the rather more original version I quoted above. It actually doesn't have all the verses either.

:-)


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:40 AM

Yeah Ian, you have a good one there and thanks. There is yet another thread that I'm not going to look for that has several more verses PLUS a thread, perhaps a challenge where there were several parody versions as well.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:43 AM

Okay Mr. Happy.........Try entering this phrase in the search box:

train is in the station

and see what you get.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: IanC
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:46 AM

For th historically minded, this song is based on the notices which used to be in toilets on BR trains until about 15-20 years ago. These said:

Please Refrain from Flushing the Toilet
While The Train is Standing in a Station.


The reason for this is that the toilets just chucked their contents out the bottom onto the track.

Oddly enough, the notices no longer appear, despite the fact that almost all train toilets continue to work in the same way. This leaves many English railway stations as essentially open sewers where the waiting passengers stare at piles of shit and chewed up toilet paper.

Not a pretty sight!

:-)


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Subject: Lyr Add: HUMORESQUE
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:46 AM

IAN....Also, here is a set of lyrics that Gargoyle posted on one of the threads....You'll love them as well!!!

HUMORESQUE
Tune - Humoresque

I love to go out after dark
And goose the statues in the park,
A lovely pastime at the close of day!
Unperturbed they stand so still,
While WHOOPS! it's me that gets the thrill.
It really is a lovely way to play.


I've noticed lately
They stand so stately,
Out there in the dark when dew is on the ground.
I sometimes tease them
And do displease them,
If I fail to show up as the sun goes down.


The Thinker is the only one
With whom I can have no fun.
He sits upon a boulder, rough and coarse.
Napoleon sits upon his steed,
I cannot goose him, no indeed,
And so instead I goose his horse.


Passengers will please refrain
From flushing toilets while the train
Is standing in the station, I love you.
We encourage constipation
While the train is in the station,
Moonlight always makes me think of you.


If you simply have to go
When other people are too slow,
There is only one thing you can do.
You'll just have to take a chance,
Be brave and do it in your pants,
But I'll forgive you, darling, I love you.


Passengers will please refrain
From flushing toilets while the train
Is standing in the station, I love you.
If you have to pass some water,
Kindly call the Pullman Porter.
He'll place a vessel in the vestibule.


If this method is in vain,
You may break a window pane.
This novel method's used by very few.
Tramps and hobos underneath
May catch it in the nose and teeth.
And they may bite off more than they can chew.


Mabel, Mabel, strong and able,
Get your big ass off the table,
Don't you know the quarter is for beer?
You can always earn your pay,
But make your tips another way,
And I'll forgive you, darling, I love you!


Ever since you met our Nelly,
She's had trouble with her belly,
Wish you'd never seen our little town!
Ever since I met your Venus,
I've had trouble with my penis,
Wish I'd never seen your little town.


Was it you who did the pushin',
Put the stains upon the cushion,
Footprints on the dashboard upside down?
Was it your sly woodpecker
That got into my girl Rebecca?
If it was, you better leave this town.


It was I who did the pushin',
Put the stains upon the cushion,
Footprints on the dashboard upside down.
But since I got into your daughter,
I've had trouble passing water,
Now I guess we're even all around.


Spaw


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: Mr Happy
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:57 AM

catspew49,

i almost forgiv u- thanx for the gargle's version- brill


cheers,

mr h


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 11:00 AM

And Ian....mentioning RUGBY songs.........THIS THREAD is a virtual "All Gargoyle Classic".....Let him sink his teeth into a subject he likes and...........

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 11:01 AM

So what happened when you entered the phrase Mr.Happy?

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: IanC
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 11:01 AM

Yea!

Thanks 'spaw!

:-)


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: Mr Happy
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 11:06 AM

ok - but when i did my first dt/frum check i entered 'We encourage constipation while the train is in the station' & nothing came up.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: Noreen
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 11:36 AM

shorter phrasres more effective, mr h, as you will have found.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: GUEST,Pete
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 11:41 AM

Passengers will please refrain from copulating on the train
while standing on the platform here at Crewe.
Please restrain this natural function 'til you get to Clapham Junction
where you'll find there's f*** all else to do


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: Mr Happy
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 11:43 AM

GUEST,Pete

is that all? no more verses of your version?


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: Jim Colbert
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 11:56 AM

Not having been exposed to much rail travel when I was young, although living in Johnstown PA which is on the mainline of the old Pennsylvania Railroad, I had sometimes wondered what reference Steve Goodman was making to in City of New Orleans ("the conducter sings that song again/passengers will please refrain...")

Thanks for an explanation, IanC!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: GUEST,Q
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 01:33 PM

Maybe, like Spaw (guessing), Humoresque is the title that immediately comes to my mind when I see this song or hear the words. Don't know how old the parody is, but I remember it from my childhood in the 1930s. Of course it is listed in the DT as Humoresque, but entering- passengers- brings up a thread with the first line, and from that thread, the DT song can be found pronto.

The sign appeared on American rail lines. Supposedly the first verse was written by Jack Smith, a newspaper columnist and first appeared in a newspaper column of his. So he is credited by for adding the "I love you" so it could be sung to the music of Dvorak's "Humoresque."

Some of the American signs read "Passengers will please refrain from flushing toilet while the train is standing still or passing through a station," which is a little more difficult to sing.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: Schantieman
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 01:42 PM

The sign is still found, in the toilets on the trains, but as with so many rules of basic hygiene & polite conduct these days, widely ignored.   Hence the piles of sh*t in the stations.

Rant over.


S


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song
From: GUEST,Q
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 01:45 PM

The parody seems to be older than the columns of jack Smith, so take that remark from my previous post with a cellar of salts.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque)
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 10 Jan 03 - 12:24 PM

Scottish variant ...'In the boat it disnae matter,
for it a' goes in the waater!'


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque)
From: Cluin
Date: 10 Jan 03 - 12:49 PM

Please refrain from posting lyrics,
Whether sincere or satiric,
Space upon the server's getting tight.
Room is needed for declaiming,
Pointless posturing and flaming,
We would rather bark than waste a byte.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque)
From: Joe_F
Date: 10 Jan 03 - 07:41 PM

Prostitutes and pretty ladies
Douche to keep from having babies.
How d'you like the way I part my hair?


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque)
From: GUEST,Compton
Date: 10 Jan 03 - 08:04 PM

I recall......
Passengers will please refrain,
from flushing toilets while the train
is in the station, Darling I love you.
We encourage Constipation
while the train is in the station.
Moonlight always makes me think of you !..etc.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque)
From: Mudlark
Date: 10 Jan 03 - 10:11 PM

Cluin...very funny and to the point!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque)
From: Cluin
Date: 12 Jan 03 - 05:25 PM

I know. Mudlark. Too bad I forgot the point myself.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque)
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 13 Jan 03 - 03:00 AM

In Oscar Brand's Bawdy Songs and Backroom Ballads you can find this"

Passengers will please refrain
From flushing toilet while the train
Is in the station,
Darling, I love you.
We encourage constipation
While the train is in the station
Moonlight always makes me think of you.

If you wish to pass some water
Kindly try the pullman porter
He'll place a vessel in the vestibule
If the vessel isn't there
Then try the platform in the rear
The one in front is likely to be cool.

If the women's room be taken,
Never feel the least forsaken,
Never show the sign of sad defeat;
Try the men's room 'cross the hall
And if some man has had the call
He'll courteously relinquish you his seat.

If these efforts are in vain,
Then kindly break the window pane
This novel method's used by very few;
We go strolling through the park,
A-goosing statues in the dark,
If Sherman's horse can take it why can't you?

re: Johnstown, PA. I had business reasons to go there by train about 25 years ago. The train didn't move much faster that the infamous Dummy Line. As it says in that song: Female passenger to conductor--Conductor, I'm going to have a baby! Conductor--You should know better than to get on in that condition. FP--I wasn't pregnant when I got on.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque)
From: masato sakurai
Date: 13 Jan 03 - 04:43 AM

Ed Cray (in The Erotic Muse, 2nd ed., pp. 235-239) collects four versions (most are one- or two-stanza ones), with this comment (pp.237-238):

    This is another of the more frequently encountered bawdy songs, though most informants seem to know only one or two verses. The song is unusual in that it is one of the very few with a genuine oral currency set to melodies drawn from what is known as "art" or "classical" music.
    DvoÝŠk published his set of six Humoresques, Op. 101, in 1894. Sometime in th early 1930s, according to his autobiography, Go East, Young Man (pp. 171-72), William O. Douglas and fellow Yale law school professor Thurman Arnold were riding the New Haven Railroad and were inspired by a sign in the toilet:

    Thurman and I got the idea of putting these memorable words to music, and Thurman quickly came up with the musical refrain from Humoresque:

          Passengers will please refrain
          from flushing toilets while the train
          is standing in
          or passing through
          a station.

    Thurman at once adressed the passengers in the parlor car and taught them to sing this song in unison. After many attempts, they were able to make a perfect rendition. Thereafter, it was common on the New Haven to hear people singing the song.

    If Arnold and Douglas are to be credited with the composition, the song certainly spread quickly. Wallrich (p.166), in presenting a World War II air force version in three verses, says that he first heard the song on college campuses in the early 1930s. Legman (The Limerick, 465, n. 1676) dates his version to 1944. Brand's text (pp. 48-49, reprinted in Babab, 73); Getz 1 (p. S-9); and Getz 2 (p. HH-10) are undated.

~Masato


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque)
From: masato sakurai
Date: 13 Jan 03 - 04:45 AM

? DvoÝŠk


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque)
From: Lanfranc
Date: 13 Jan 03 - 05:03 AM

Can't see this verse here or elsewhere quoted - originally from Diz Disley, if I remember right.

"Newlyweds while in the carriage
Should not consummate their marriage
While the train is standing here at Crewe
To perform this natural function
Kindly wait 'til Clapham Junction
Where you'll find there's sod-all else to do!"

Come to think about it, it might have been Derek Craft of 1812, rather than Diz.

Alan


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque)
From: GUEST,Q
Date: 13 Jan 03 - 03:43 PM

I have some of his music on old lps produced in Prague on the Czech Supraphon label. The r in Dvorak has that little upside-down "v" above the r, common in Czech and indicating a hard sh sound to the r, but it is not in the html characters that can be used here.

Webster's Collegiate uses this character in their biographical entry on Antonín Dvorák. I guess we have to leave the r bare. Most American produced cds now leave off the accents on his name.

It is one of two such characters that should be in the standard html list; the other is the macron above vowels, which is needed for Japanese, Hawai'ian and several other languages.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque)
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 13 Jan 03 - 10:50 PM

I'm baffled. What were the folks that couldn't find it in DigiTrad searcing for? "Humoresque" brings it up; so does "please refrain"; so does "toilets" or "Sherman's horse".

We keep trying to make the search simpler and more versatile.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque)
From: GUEST,Q
Date: 13 Jan 03 - 11:33 PM

Passengers worked. I think most people put in too much. Single words bring up additional stuff, butit is no problem to ignore what you don't want.

There are some threads and songs in the dt that have incorrect or mis-spelled titles. It would be nice if those were corrected.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 14 Jan 03 - 08:30 AM

I'm glad the intrepid Masato dug up the reference to U.S. Surpeme Court Justice William O. Douglas as co-author of this ditty. This may be one of those "folk song legends" and I thought I'd run across references to it before but couldn't pin it down in any of my available songbooks.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque)
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 14 Jan 03 - 09:15 AM

? DvoÝŠk
Change charset of your browser to Middle European = ISO-8859-2 or Windows-1250 (somewhere in the menu), and it looks right.

Wilfried


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque)
From: GUEST,c e allen
Date: 05 Oct 05 - 03:07 PM

The final chorus of this wonderful ditty is:

We go strolling through the park
Goosing statues in the dark
If Sherman's horse can take it, why can't you?


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque)
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 06 Oct 05 - 01:02 AM

There's another version that starts,

"Who's the one who did the pushin',
Left the stains upon the cushion..."

Fortunately, I don't remember the rest. I think it's a pregnant daughter/lover/angry father setup. I remember my old friend Tedd Judd singing it.

Aloha,
Mark


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque)
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 06 Oct 05 - 02:38 AM

Trivially different, but with a bit different scan:

Passengers will please refrain
From using toilets while the train
Is standing in the station -
................we thank you.
Constipation's recommended
While the train is being tended
If the train can't go
Then why should you.

And the non-train bit:

Nothing looks much better
Than a young girl in a sweater
But the sweater may not be what it appears.
Boys, it's recommended
That you see what's in the sweater
Or your wedding night could end in bitter tears.

John


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Subject: RE: ADD: Humoresque (various versions)
From: pavane
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 03:55 AM

SPAM ALERT

Can we block this guest from further postings?


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Subject: RE: ADD: Humoresque (various versions)
From: Joe_F
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 08:12 PM

Persons working underneath
Will get it in their hair and teeth.

Fortunately, I have never heard the rest of that stanza.


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Subject: RE: ADD: Humoresque (various versions)
From: GUEST,Stuarticus Maximus
Date: 30 Mar 10 - 07:51 PM

Passengers will please refrain
from passing water while the train
is standing in the station to refuel.
Those who feel they must pass water
would they kindly ask the porter
for the bucket in the vestibule.


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Subject: RE: ADD: Humoresque (various versions)
From: MGM∑Lion
Date: 30 Mar 10 - 11:26 PM

Two friends of mine at Cambridge in the early 50s, Neil Morris & Tony Davis [both of Downing College], composed this additional aposiopetic Ĺ-stanza, ending with a harmonic la-laa-la:~

Please refrain from masturbating
While the train's in station waiting,
Spunk may fall upon the man beneath
~~~ Plate-laaaying∑∑∑


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Subject: RE: ADD: Humoresque (various versions)
From: MGM∑Lion
Date: 31 Mar 10 - 09:58 PM

r


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: GUEST,John
Date: 07 Jan 12 - 03:57 PM

Something triggered in my head this morning and I thought of this song....and it's been going around in my head ever since.

Imagine my surprise that so many of you friends remembered it too.
I "googled" Parody lyrics to the tune of Humoresque and all of this came up.
Thanks for all the comments. Isn't the internet great?!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Feb 12 - 06:02 PM

Every night after dark
I'd goose the statues
In the park.
If Sherman's horse can
take it, why can't you?


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 01 Feb 12 - 09:11 PM

Probably posted before, but:

Nothing looks much better than
A young girl in a sweater but
The sweater may not be
What it appears.

Boys, it's recommended
That you see what's in the sweater
Or your wedding night might
End in bitter tears.

(Attributed to Oscar Wilde in one source, but other sources differ.)

John


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: GUEST,marilyn
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 10:14 PM

I remember some of the Lyrics to Humoreque. It goes something like this-- over the stars are beaming through the dusty clouds are gleaming with a tender message in her eyes   or something like that. I wish I could get that record. It has been something like 50 years ago that they use to play that on the radio. I always loved that song.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: Lighter
Date: 08 Feb 12 - 11:01 AM

More like Brand than Wilde.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 08 Feb 12 - 04:25 PM

Does anyone remember that the tune is a variation on Swanee River?


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Sep 12 - 01:15 PM

If you have to pass some water,
Ask the porter for a blotter....


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: GUEST,Raymondi
Date: 28 Feb 13 - 02:08 PM

If your daughter has to water
Ask the porter for a blotter
Throw it out the window when she's through(done?)

Anybody know the rest of this?
Heard it as a kid about 1960 AD.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: kendall
Date: 28 Feb 13 - 02:30 PM

Then there was...Mabel Mabel fresh and able, get your big ass off the table, go on out and find yourself a man...


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: Mr Happy
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 05:20 AM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Train_toilet


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Mar 14 - 11:02 AM

I know these lyrics are hilarious, but doesn't anyone have the words that are something about a humoresque and then the next line is something about 'my arabesque'. I would be so grateful for any help. We had this sheet music when I was a girl and my mother would play it on the piano while we sang. Then she just got rid of it all; piano, all the sheet music. I don't know why.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Mar 14 - 11:17 AM

Marilyn,

I have a couple of words - something about Humoresque and the next line is something ' my arabesque'.

Does this call anything to mind? I have been looking for the words for ages.

vickey.hunter@att.net


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: Joe_F
Date: 02 Mar 14 - 08:17 PM

I once heard a version celebrating the song itself, containing the line
So picturesque and yet grotesque.
That's all I remember.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 14 Oct 14 - 12:31 PM

You must practice constipation
Whilst the train is in the station
So as not to crap upon the line
Hobos lying underneath
Will get it in their hair & teeth
And the outlook for them won't be very fine.


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