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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 27 May 16 - 03:39 PM
Little Hawk 27 May 16 - 11:02 AM
gnu 26 May 16 - 10:26 PM
Rapparee 26 May 16 - 10:00 PM
Little Hawk 26 May 16 - 04:52 PM
Janie 26 May 16 - 01:52 AM
Little Hawk 26 May 16 - 01:08 AM
Rapparee 25 May 16 - 10:25 PM
gnu 25 May 16 - 02:25 PM
gnu 25 May 16 - 01:58 PM
Rapparee 25 May 16 - 10:56 AM
Little Hawk 25 May 16 - 10:25 AM
Acme 24 May 16 - 10:58 PM
Rapparee 24 May 16 - 09:02 PM
Amos 24 May 16 - 06:25 PM
gnu 24 May 16 - 06:12 PM
Donuel 24 May 16 - 05:16 PM
Amos 24 May 16 - 04:47 PM
Little Hawk 24 May 16 - 03:37 PM
Amos 24 May 16 - 03:11 PM
Rapparee 24 May 16 - 09:48 AM
Janie 24 May 16 - 12:12 AM
Acme 24 May 16 - 12:00 AM
gnu 23 May 16 - 11:09 PM
Janie 23 May 16 - 10:18 PM
Rapparee 23 May 16 - 09:28 PM
Amos 23 May 16 - 07:40 PM
gnu 23 May 16 - 11:20 AM
Rapparee 22 May 16 - 10:07 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 May 16 - 06:27 PM
Rapparee 22 May 16 - 03:29 PM
Acme 22 May 16 - 02:04 PM
Amos 22 May 16 - 01:10 PM
Rapparee 22 May 16 - 11:10 AM
Amos 22 May 16 - 10:50 AM
gnu 22 May 16 - 10:20 AM
Rapparee 21 May 16 - 05:16 PM
gnu 21 May 16 - 02:57 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 May 16 - 02:26 PM
gnu 21 May 16 - 01:05 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 May 16 - 12:01 PM
Rapparee 20 May 16 - 10:16 PM
Acme 20 May 16 - 09:41 PM
Rapparee 20 May 16 - 07:10 PM
Amos 20 May 16 - 10:12 AM
Rapparee 19 May 16 - 11:48 PM
Donuel 19 May 16 - 12:41 PM
Little Hawk 19 May 16 - 12:30 PM
Donuel 19 May 16 - 12:17 PM
Amos 19 May 16 - 10:15 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 May 16 - 03:39 PM

Shane is a blind pig, of course, unlike Rapparee, who is gifted with superhuman vision into material dimensions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 May 16 - 11:02 AM

Shane doesn't need glasses when he drives. He doesn't even need a license when he drives. Or ownership papers. Or sobriety. He does need a lawyer after he gets arrested for doing it, though. So there are some drawbacks, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 May 16 - 10:26 PM

Great news, Rap. Good to hear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 May 16 - 10:00 PM

Officially, as of today, and I have the paperwork to prove it, I am allowed to drive withOUT corrective lenses. First time since about 1952 I haven't had to wear glasses. Yes, I'm getting another pair for reading and what-not, but I DON'T HAVE TO WEAR THEM IF I DON'T WANT TO, EVEN FOR DRIVING!!!!!!.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 May 16 - 04:52 PM

I allow every kind of weed to flourish there, Janie...except dandelions and thistles. Hawkweeds are welcome! Not sure I've seen any, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 26 May 16 - 01:52 AM

Ha! Do you allow the equally sunny and invasive yellow disc blooms of assorted Hawkweeds to flourish in your lawn, LH?

Inquiring and otherwise idle minds want to know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 May 16 - 01:08 AM

People who have a crush on Anne Murray, secret or otherwise, are seriously in need of counseling! What I find her records good for is curing insomnia. In fact, they are about the only thing that seems to work, if one can avoid just putting an ax through the stereo.

Ah...the joys of a dandelion-free lawn! I love it. Don't worry, gnu, there are literally a few hundred thousand dandelions starting within mere feet of my yard, and thence extending through numerous properties all down the road...the bees will not run out of dandelion flowers on account of me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 16 - 10:25 PM

I'm sorry, it should have been AnnIE. Like in Little Orphan. I guess I was thinking of Ann of Green Gables. Or maybe Anna of Avonlea. Some Canadienne or other named that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 May 16 - 02:25 PM

Oh yeah! I forgot. He tells my gas powered shipper is (paraphrasing) shite and his rechargeable is the best thing since sliced bread. Gotta get one he says! Says, "Here, lift it." and offered it. I took it but my arms were extended and my back said, "GIVE IT BACK!!!!" I said that mine was lighter. Well, he went on about the fact that there was no way any gas powered snipper was lighter for about thirty seconds and that's when I said "The Debaters are on CBC radio in a few minutes so I gotta go." and walked away. I could have opened my garage and handed him my Featherlite to prove he is so fulla shit his eyes are brown but, hey, his snipper is better, his snowblower is better, his lawnmower is better, his yard looks better... he himself is just better than everyone else.

By the way, his wife informed me two days ago that she is gonna come paint the bottom five feet of the light standard in front of my house because the fading paint "looks terrible" (the old guy use to get paint that "fell off the train" at CNR so he painted EVERYthing including stuff that should never be painted; the old guy used to keep beer in the garage... know what I mean?). I informed her that she could fill her boots because it was on city property so if she wanted to further degrade the concrete by painting it, it was up to her. I wanted to suggest she use a steel brush to remove the existing paint but, well, ya know when ya just gotta walk away before ya say what's really on your mind? She's the same one that offered to help me paint over that awful green paint I put on the lower half of my siding when I moved in to cover up the orange paint. Yeah, half Irish and half French gonna leave orange on my house... gotta be GREEN!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 May 16 - 01:58 PM

So... George sees me leave after I got Mum back from her daily walk at the grocery. I waved. He waved. I went to the corner store for a pack of smokes. I got back about ten minutes later and who do I see trespassing on MY property armed with a rechargeable Whipper Snipper? Gwan, ya got three guesses and the first two don't count.

"I figured I should whipper-snip before I mow because if you try to mow something that high, it just makes a mess. If you can't mow you can always ask me and I'd be glad to do it." Not what he said two years ago when I offered to pay him to do it when my lawn mower broke down.

I said I had planned to mow it yesterday but my other chores got my back pretty bad so I intended to do it this evening. Alas and aslack, the thunderstorms have moved in as forecast. Oh woe is me. No mow fo' me. I'll bet the glorious yellow blossoms will be tenfold by tomorrow with the rain and warm temp today. And, wouldn't ya just know it... rain again tomorrow. Gee, a guy just can't get ahead.

Here's the kicker. He w-snipped and all those seeds got pummelled into the lawn by the driving rain... along with all the ones I picked yesterday eve and early morn today and spread in the bare spots from where the big-ass and small-ass shrubs were removed last fall.

"Looks like hell after a few years." Not to a bee and not to me.

Rap... ANN Murray? ANN? BLASPHEMY says I. As for Gale, well, she's a fellow British Commonwealther so yer allowed. Kiwi's are cool mate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 16 - 10:56 AM

Why would he want to bite you, LH? Such violence would go against his very pacific nature as a Canadian. Even to suggest it opens to question your Canadianess. If you were an American (i.e., someone from the United States) violence and aggression would seem a normal part of your makeup, but not if you're a Canadian. Perhaps it's time for you to come out of the closet and admit that you are really an ex-pat citizen of the US who fled to Canada back in the '60s because you had a secret crush on William Shatner. Unlike being a die-hard Bob Dylan, fan that's nothing to be ashamed of. It's rather like having a secret crush on Ann Murray or Gale Garnett, only different, and you can admit to it these days -- you could even marry him if you'd like. So 'fess up and admit you were really born on the lower East Side of Detroit and grew up a street fightin' man, a switchblade in your hand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 May 16 - 10:25 AM

I have succeeded in exterminating virtually every single dandelion on my lawn....and all the thistles too! And I did it without using those awful herbicides or chemicals. Yup. I did it all just by removing them with a handheld weeding tool designed for the purpose. If you get out there first thing every Spring and keep right at it, it's not that hard to eliminate dandelions and thistles, but if you give them a few years on their own, then yer f*cked!

On the other hand, I leave all the other "weeds" alone, so I not only have grass on my lawn, I also have all manner of interesting small wildflowers, plantain, clover, and other odd assorted stuff mixed in with the grass...just none of those ugly damned Triffid-like dandelions and no spikey thistles to hurt people's bare feet either.

Hear that, gnu? Yeah, I agree that dandelion flowers look lovely, but that only lasts for a couple of days, and then you're left with butt-ugly damned huge Triffid monster plants that choke out everything else and totally take over. Looks like hell after a few years.

So, bite me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 May 16 - 10:58 PM

Dandelions are delicious in salad.

It's humid out and the daytime temperatures are in the mid-80s, so MOM says it's time to hang the hammock on the porch. I finished mowing the back yard this evening, and then took the dogs for a walk. It's too humid this evening to hang out on MOM's porch.

Now I'm watching the May 24, 2016 episode of Frontline and wondering if I'll ever need to fight the insurance companies and the federal government over flood insurance payments (I live on a creek - this program talks about Hurricanes Katrina and Sandy).

A quiche is in the oven. I'll worry about that setting up now, and look into the insurance later.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 16 - 09:02 PM

You're Always Welcome At Our House
Shel Silverstein

Well a man came to our house,
Our house, our house,
A man came to our house to sell some brooms.
So we asked him to come in
And we hit him with the hammer
And we hid him in the closet in my father's room.

But you're always welcome at our house
Any time of day
Yes, you're always welcome at our house
And we hope you will stay

Then a lady came to our house
Our house, our house,
A lady came to find out why I wasn't in school.
So we asked her to come in
And we gave her some poison lemonade
And hid her in the freezer where it's nice and cool.

But you're always welcome at our house
Any time of day
Yes, you're always welcome at our house
And we hope you will stay

Then a kid came into our yard
Our yard, our yard,
A kid came into our yard to get his ball.
So we asked him to come in
And we took him in the basement
And we sealed him up inside the basement wall.

But you're always welcome at our house
Any time of day
Yes, you're always welcome at our house
And we hope you will stay

So when you come to our house
Our house, our house,
When you come to our house we'll have some fun.
We'll ask you to come in
And we'll take you in the kitchen
And we'll put you in the oven until you're done.

But you're always welcome at our house
Any time of day
Yes, you're always welcome at our house
And we hope you will stay
And we know, you will stay.

                --on the artist's "Folk Songs" 1962.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 May 16 - 06:25 PM

Bravo, Donuel. I applaud your way of beeing!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 May 16 - 06:12 PM

My dandelions are starting to go to seed. An army of seeds leading the fight to feed the bees! Millions! George likes herbicides. George is pissed. Fuck George. Matter of fact, if I win the looto, I am building a fence so George can't "overspray" his glyphosate on my lawn.

DANDELIONS RULE! Feed the bees! Offer invalid for stupid people.

And, they are so pretty. Beautiful yellow flowers against the green. And you can eat them and make tea and wine and... why would anyone spray that cancer shit on them? Vanity? My lawn is better than your lawn? Well, my bees are better than no bees. YELLOW FOREVER!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 24 May 16 - 05:16 PM

Rap take heart you can always have post number five of a kind.

PS the Supreme Court settled that parodies are not plagiarism.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 May 16 - 04:47 PM

Oh, pshaw. Shane is a rank amateur compared to the deft skullduggery of the Booqueman. A flimflam imitation, a mere nursing mewling infant in lowlifery, who could not hold a candle to the towering accomplishments of our own resident plagiarist. Shane? Hmmfffft. It is, how you say, to laugh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 May 16 - 03:37 PM

Oh, assuredly. But we'd be even more blessed if we could hang out with Shane on a regular basis, and observe his ongoing efforts to pick up girls, bum smokes, get free beer, and avoid work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 May 16 - 03:11 PM

I just love it when Rapp lets his dark side show by stealing from the very best. What an incorrigible rogue! Such powers of dalliance, such brilliant opportunistic malfeasance, such light-fingered legerdemainery. Really, we are blessed to have his dark shadow cutting off our light, don't you agree?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 16 - 09:48 AM

You are always welcome at Mom's house,
At Mom's house, at Mom's house,
Yes, you're always welcome at Mom's house,
And we hope you will stay.

A man came to Mom's house, to Mom's house, to Mom's house,
A man came to Mom's house to say we're goons.
So we asked him to come in and we hit him with a hammer
And we put him in the closet in our Mother's room.
CHORUS

A boy came to Mom's house, to Mom's house, to Mom's house,
A boy came to Mom's house to stop us all.
So we asked him to come in, and we shot him with a twenty-two
And stuck him down inside the basement wall.

CHORUS

A lady came to Mom's house, to Mom's house, to Mom's house
A lady came to find out why we wasn't in school.
So we asked her to come in and we fed her poisoned lemonade
And put her in the freezer where it's nice and cool.

You're always welcome at Mom's house,
At Mom's house,
At Mom's house.
Yes, you're always welcome at Mom's house,
And we know you will stay.



Learn it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 24 May 16 - 12:12 AM

Humph!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 May 16 - 12:00 AM

MOM's philosophical about that "TECH" thread - the way she figgers it, the kids come home more often to visit when there is a threat that the house might be torn down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 May 16 - 11:09 PM

You had me at "prettiest low cut dress" but, then again, I am a horny beast. >;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 23 May 16 - 10:18 PM

Whew! Gotta....catch.....m'breath......Got here as quick as I could - gasp - pant - pant - gasp - gulp - Know I been gone a long time and y'all prob'ly thought I'd turned my back on the family completely - well, for that matter, so did I - wanted to see the big city and get some real culture in my life, you know? Changed my name and how I did my hair, started brushin' my teeth and stopped droppin' my g's - gasp-cough - water for me and the mule please.

Anyways, I saw this crowd a'startin' to gather down near the Capitol grounds. Strolled down just to see what was happenin' - after changing into my prettiest low cut dress of course - never know where there might be a business opportunity, and Mom did a good job of teachin' never pass up a chance to make a buck - no pun intended - I don't suppose you could add just a wee drab of bourbon to that water, Rap? Not the mule's bucket of water, you idiot!

Where was I? Oh, yeh. Anyways - when I first heard Moab mentioned I thought maybe it was a revival sans the tent - thinkin' that and dressed as I was, you can understand I was a little hesitant to push on into the crowd - but there weren't no need. The voices started to get louder, and suddenly I realized they weren't talkin' 'bout no prophets wandering around Palestine, nor profits either, for that matter. Weren't talkin' about trouble in the Middle East, nor about arrangements for a tour bus to Moab, Utah.

No sir! They was talkin' about MOAB! And some was speculatin' that MOAB is responsible for the slow down in the economy. Now, others was sayin' no -no - and I didn't see no fist fights breakin' out nor can I say that I know a lynch mob is headed this way - but suddenly, I thought of Home. And dear Mom, and all my brothers and sisters out here in the hinterland - maybe in danger of lynchin', and maybe not - I just knew I had to ride out here as hard and fast as I could, sorta like Paul Revere and the Raiders, you know? To warn you that, geez, somethin' awful might happen! Well, probably not.

But anyways, did I say that already? Was a good excuse ride back here as hard and fast as a could to make a dramatic comeback.

How'd I do?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 16 - 09:28 PM

That's pretty good from an imaginary.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 May 16 - 07:40 PM

My pore haid is reelin'
From a superfluity of feelin'
And of emotion sympathetic deep inside
For Rapparee's heart is breaking
Cuz his plum number was taken
By a miscreant who took him for a ride.
'T was a boy he thought he knew
Whom the gals called Gnarly Gnu
Who take away his number late one eve.
And this feller, dark and gnomic
Took his figger palindromic
And left him in the dust, alone to grieve.

Yippeee kiyiiiiiii
Oh, yippeee kiyiiiii.

Left him in the dust, alone to grieve.

(Thudding guitar solo built around A minor)
(Fade out, cantering drumbeats sotto voce)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 May 16 - 11:20 AM

11:20 AM and I couldn't do the arithmetic or retain what I read. Man, I am loosin' it. Typos are a gateway, I guess. Apologies to all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 16 - 10:07 PM

You may not know it, but there is scientific evidence that Amos may be imaginary. For example, you never see Amos with Barack Obama or Donald Trump. Of course, the skeptics respond that you never see him with Superman or The Lone Ranger either.

I, personally, have met a construct that claims to be Amos, but I did not prick it to see if it would bleed or anything Shakespearean like that. It did seem well-built, as there were no gaps in its visible seams and I know of nothing that fell off but I will admit that I have no idea of what maintenance went into its preparation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 May 16 - 06:27 PM

Rapparee, do not be overly distraught over missing that 54445 palindrome post. An even more auspicious number, 54545 is less than a hundred posts away. It's yours for the taking stealing unless Gluon has already claimed it by folding space-time and grabbing it last week. If so, we'll never know because, due to the new no-guests-in-BS policy, Gluon can no longer post. I suppose someone else could claim it in his name, like Columbus did for Ferdinand and Isabella, but that would open the door for proxy posts by less desirable and more flea-bitten imaginaries, so let's not go there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 16 - 03:29 PM

Yessiree, out here we got us some voleboys. You oughta see 'em at the rodeo, riding the buckin' voles and team vole roping. Tougher than yer ordinary bull riding and more demanding than bulldoggin' a steer the real way -- with your teeth*!








*Invented by Bill Pickett: "He invented the technique of bulldogging, the skill of grabbing cattle by the horns and wrestling them to the ground. It was known among cattlemen that, with the help of a trained bulldog, a stray steer could be caught. Bill Pickett had seen this happen on many occasions. He also thought that if a bulldog could do this feat, so could he. Pickett practiced his stunt by riding hard, springing from his horse, and wrestling the steer to the ground. Pickett's method for bulldogging was biting a cow on the lip and then falling backwards. He also helped cowboys with bulldogging. This method eventually lost popularity as the sport morphed into the steer wrestling that is practiced in rodeos." (Wikipedia)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 May 16 - 02:04 PM

Nine posts later I'm still reeling from the beauty of that 54444 post of gnu's. And what a lucky shot - I hope you went out and bought a lottery ticket! BWL's palindrome right after was pretty good, but those four's have a lot of drag so they don't spin well. Put a few coats of polyurethane on it, that might help.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 May 16 - 01:10 PM

Early in the morning we round up the volies
We scare the shit from them, and stir up the voles
We shoo 'em and boo 'em until they start running
Off to the golf course to dig up more holes

Whoopee ti yi, et cetera.


I am REALLY fond of "et cetera". Such a useful, flexible, intelligent and discriminating phrase.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 16 - 11:10 AM

No, he's involeable. He's got them voles on the run! They don't dare stick around when he's around!

Whoopee ti-yi-yo, git along little volies!
It's your misfortune and none of my own!
Whoopee ti-yi-yo, git along little volies!
You know it's the golf course will be your new home.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 May 16 - 10:50 AM

(Applause) Author! Author! Gimme a B!! Gimme a W! Gimme an Etcetera!

Is Rapp still involute? Is he even voluteable?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 May 16 - 10:20 AM

Alas and aslack, didn't even think of that, Rap. Take it, I ain't usin' it. I insist.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 16 - 05:16 PM

Alas and alack!   Some Florida fellow took my 54445 and I must now fling myself into the river, a disgrace to numerical palindromes!   Farewell!   Perhaps we will meet again on that distant shore of the vale from which no man returneth!

Or maybe I'll just go to the Legion Hovel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 May 16 - 02:57 PM

Well, ahhh, thanks, but I don't deserve it. I wasn't even aware of such a thing. Some people are born to coincidences and others have them thrust upon them. I have been thrusted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 May 16 - 02:26 PM

Gnu, congratulations on scoring post #54444. May the fours be with you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 May 16 - 01:05 PM

Grammy right there says I.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 May 16 - 12:01 PM

♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬

Bullshit (to the tune of "High Hopes")

Once there was a fellow named Gnu
Like a beast that lives in a zoo,
And when he'd had a few-ew
Gnu could talk himself blue

'Cause he had bullshit
He was full of it
He had genuine dyed-in-the-wool shit
So any time you're doubtin'
That what he's spoutin'
Is really wisdom or wit...
Oops! You're right! It's just a pile of bullshit!

Once there was a fellow named Rap
Lived on a golf course near a sand trap
Everyone knew that Rap chap
Talked a load of bullcrap

'Cause he had bullshit
He was full of it
He had genuine dyed-in-the-wool shit
So any time you're doubtin'
That what he's spoutin'
Is really wisdom or wit...
Oops! You're right! It's just a pile of bullshit!

Was a fellow named Little Hawk
His hallucinations could talk
Sometimes so much that you'd squawk
"Stuff their mouths with a sock!"

But he had bullshit
He was full of it
He had genuine dyed-in-the-wool shit
So any time you're doubtin'
That what he's spoutin'
Is really wisdom or wit...
Oops! You're right! It's just a pile of bullshit!

Then there is a fellow named Amos
In some circles he is quite famous
Uses big words to shame us
But we know what his game is

It's all bullshit
He is full of it
It's just genuine dyed-in-the-wool shit
So any time you're doubtin'
That what he's spoutin'
Is really wisdom or wit...
Oops! You're right! It's just a pile of bullshit!

And this guy named Bee-dubya-ell
Lives down south where 'gators do dwell
Tall tales he likes to tell-el
But you can tell by the smell

That they're bullshit
He's so full of it
They're just genuine dyed-in-the-wool shit
So any time you're doubtin'
That what he's spoutin'
Is really wisdom or wit...
Oops! You're right! It's just a pile of bullshit!

♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 May 16 - 10:16 PM

Of course, if Mr. Shame had gone beyond the third grade he'd know big words. Words like cat, dog, car. Even words like balloon, head, and Shame. He could converse in complete sentences such as "See Jane run" and "Shame drunk." Instead he just sits there are grunts as if he were constipated -- which mentally he is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 May 16 - 09:41 PM

His poem sounds like the stuff that Sarah Sylvia Cynthia Stout wouldn't take out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 May 16 - 07:10 PM

Well, that explains half or less of Shame. I understand that his father was "just passing through" and since he couldn't pay was forced to "labor" for his fun by a couple of rather large gentlemen from Detroit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 May 16 - 10:12 AM

Shane's mother, Polly Sylle O'Gysum, was unfortunately a crack user and vulnerable to extreme mood swings. She died young, as a result of chemical abuse and the stress of poverty and lack of education. She was buried in a pauper's grave in a field kept by the Humane Society just outside of Pedant, where she had fled to live with her grammar.p1


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 16 - 11:48 PM

Yup, Amos, I bet that family would be sore aggrieved.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 19 May 16 - 12:41 PM

Its not how fast you mow well. Its how well you mow fast.

sometimes it fails to bemuse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 May 16 - 12:30 PM

It's a good thing Shane isn't around here anymore, because you people would have driven him mad with all those big words. He hates people who use big words like "polysyllogism", because he isn't sure whether or not he's being insulted when they do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 19 May 16 - 12:17 PM

BWL don't stop, It deserves a Silverstien conclusion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 May 16 - 10:15 AM

Especially the anadiplosis-driven polysyllogisms, which never fail to bemuse. The Delmann tribe is offended by what I wrote about their favorite son, but at least I haven't tread on the toeses of the turrible Doelman's, or thier viperous cousins, the Booquemeisters.

A


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