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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 24 Jul 16 - 02:29 AM
gnu 23 Jul 16 - 09:16 PM
Little Hawk 23 Jul 16 - 02:51 PM
gnu 23 Jul 16 - 12:47 PM
Amos 23 Jul 16 - 12:24 PM
gnu 22 Jul 16 - 11:31 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Jul 16 - 04:55 PM
Rapparee 21 Jul 16 - 10:31 AM
Little Hawk 20 Jul 16 - 11:36 PM
Little Hawk 20 Jul 16 - 11:27 PM
Little Hawk 20 Jul 16 - 11:26 PM
Rapparee 20 Jul 16 - 09:24 PM
Rapparee 20 Jul 16 - 08:50 AM
gnu 19 Jul 16 - 10:10 PM
Rapparee 19 Jul 16 - 09:59 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Jul 16 - 08:14 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Jul 16 - 07:13 PM
Amos 19 Jul 16 - 06:08 PM
Rapparee 19 Jul 16 - 07:58 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Jul 16 - 03:21 AM
Rapparee 18 Jul 16 - 10:05 PM
Little Hawk 18 Jul 16 - 09:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Jul 16 - 09:08 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Jul 16 - 07:33 PM
Acme 18 Jul 16 - 01:29 PM
Little Hawk 18 Jul 16 - 10:14 AM
Rapparee 18 Jul 16 - 09:57 AM
Rapparee 17 Jul 16 - 09:45 PM
Little Hawk 17 Jul 16 - 02:38 PM
gnu 17 Jul 16 - 02:33 PM
Acme 17 Jul 16 - 12:09 PM
Amos 17 Jul 16 - 03:56 AM
Little Hawk 17 Jul 16 - 01:26 AM
Rapparee 16 Jul 16 - 09:58 PM
Little Hawk 16 Jul 16 - 09:50 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Jul 16 - 08:25 PM
Little Hawk 16 Jul 16 - 04:56 PM
Little Hawk 16 Jul 16 - 04:55 PM
Rapparee 15 Jul 16 - 09:25 PM
Rapparee 15 Jul 16 - 08:42 PM
gnu 15 Jul 16 - 07:15 PM
gnu 15 Jul 16 - 06:14 PM
Amos 15 Jul 16 - 04:30 PM
keberoxu 15 Jul 16 - 01:05 PM
Little Hawk 15 Jul 16 - 11:34 AM
Rapparee 15 Jul 16 - 08:50 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Jul 16 - 05:15 AM
Amos 15 Jul 16 - 02:42 AM
Acme 14 Jul 16 - 10:52 PM
Rapparee 14 Jul 16 - 09:58 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jul 16 - 02:29 AM

MOM seems to be loading at the speed of Gluon these days. Max's repair has done the trick!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Jul 16 - 09:16 PM

Go to 32:20 and watch for a bit. I am lovin this! And it's edumacational too.

http://www.cbc.ca/doczone/episodes/the-war-of-1812-been-there-won-that


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jul 16 - 02:51 PM

Perhaps she intends to have Chongo speak in her place. It would be truly refreshing if he did, but I fear it is a vain hope. He has his own campaign to run.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Jul 16 - 12:47 PM

The Hump ain't never gonna get elected. I refuse to believe that the American public will allow it. Yet again and again and again, I say it's a dog and pony show to keep Sanders from getting elected.

I shall watch the DNC next week. I was surprised as all get out when it was reported that Warren has removed herself from the speakers list. Is this true? I thought she would be keynote. ???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 16 - 12:24 PM

Arthur Boboo RIghtiss is a demon in sheep's clothing. But I have fended hom off and sent him to Canada, so far, anyway.

That may seem like a huge accomplishment but this Trump monster may multiply it by sending thousands to Canada. At least the Canadians seem to get the idea of forming a more perfect union. Well, some, anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Jul 16 - 11:31 AM

Yo MOM! Wake up. You want breaded fried haddock for supper? We had smelts last Friday and breaded fried sole the Friday before that. I got no salmon but Sobeys has lots and Marc is on the counter so no problem.

What would you like to have, Gary?

Mom, I'll cook whatever you want.

Kind of hot to be cooking toady, isn't it, Gary?

To be continued...... IF I type that much. Arthritis got me by the booboo today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Jul 16 - 04:55 PM

Mom! I have a Republican spell checker! It recognized "Melania" as a real word, but not "Obama"! I have never heard of anyone named Melania except for Mrs. Trump. Heck, for all I know, she may be the only one in the world. Yet my spell checker's lexicon contains her name, but not that of the president of The United States? Somethin' fishy goin' on there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jul 16 - 10:31 AM

You said something vigorously? If you did that I'd worry, because I have no desire to get a vigorous black eye or a vigorous kick in the oompa-loompas. At my age even thinking vigorously is challenging. Sleeping vigorously exhausts me for days. You must be exhausted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jul 16 - 11:36 PM

I'm on a roll! This looks like a good time to cut and past something I wrote years ago and saved on my desktop for whenever I might need it on Mudcat. It was back in those Mudcat days of yore when I bothered to join political and social discussions here, despite the toxic company, and I thought it would be quite handy now and then. It went like this....

Dispute whatever I just said vigorously if you wish to have a tizzy over it. Express your outrage. Go crazy. Get upset with me. Make sarcastic remarks at my expense and ask me wild rhetorical questions that are based on a complete misapprehension of my original point.

Say "I make it a point never to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent." (That's a lovely cliche that will instantly establish your intellectual superiority and leave me weeping and bleeding in the corner...)

Stretch my original point to some ridiculous extreme so as to imply that I am a drooling moron.   Accuse me of being a fascist, a racist, a communist, a sexist, an anti-semite or a child abuser.   Draw attention to my many other vile character flaws which you may have noticed lately and tell me that you pity me (that always strikes a telling blow!).

Tell me I've got rocks in my head. Make obscene gestures in my general direction (if you know what it is) and grind your teeth at me. Get REALLY incensed! Kick your chair over and roll around foaming at the mouth, and bite the carpet! It's such a catharsis, after all...and I can take it with equanimity...so just knock yourself out on my account, okay?

(walking off, humming a merry little tune...)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jul 16 - 11:27 PM

Wow! I made a post and it actually got through! I'm overwhelmed!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jul 16 - 11:26 PM

Testing....1...2...3....?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 16 - 09:24 PM

Ah, I am but a lone voice crying out! Even Mom is mute, for she is...GLUON!!! Dammit duckdog!!! You've spilled my drink and now you're lapping it up!!! Stop humping the sofa pillows or swelp me I'll send you to Amos!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 16 - 08:50 AM

There has always been BS in Cleveland (I once lived near there), but now the quality has reached new levels of Low. I remember when Ralph Perk was mayor: not only did he set his hair on fire with a welding torch, and he is supposed to have told his wife to decline an invitation from Pat Nixon and the Whitehouse by "tell them it's your bowling night." Many other examples exist of Clevelandish BS (after all, not every city has the river catch fire), but none before has reached the lows reached now.

To be fair, this pitiful BS is not emanating from Cleveland and should be only temporary, like a blanket of heavy smog during a temperature inversion. What amazes me is that Lake Erie hasn't risen up in protest and washed it away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jul 16 - 10:10 PM

Speeches? Solilesqueezes?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jul 16 - 09:59 PM

All of my time portals are trash cans. I put something in and eventually it disappears, but sometimes it takes a forward-linear-progression (relative to my normal time continuum [whatever that is], of course, that is) of months.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Jul 16 - 08:14 PM

Oh dear! I hope no Republicans follow this thread. I may have inadvertently given them a plausible explanation for the glaring similarities between the speeches of Mrs. Trump ans Mrs. Obama. All they have to do is claim that an earlier draft of Melania's speech was tossed into what appeared to be a trashcan, but which was, in fact, an opening into a time portal leading back to 2008.

Hey, anyone gullible enough to buy "Build a wall and make Mexico pay for it!" is gullible enough to buy a a trashcan time portal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Jul 16 - 07:13 PM

Yes, Gluon is actually responsible for the plagiarism controversy surrounding Melania Trump's speech at the Republican convention. She did not plagiarize. Gluon stole a copy of the speech from her office, hopped on his hyperspatial surfboard and rode a space-time anomaly wave to 2008, where he gave it to Michelle Obama. Michelle actually plagiarized Melania! It just appears the other way to most humans because they see time as only pointing in one direction.

Gluon thinks it's the greatest practical joke he's ever pulled. Even better than the time he shat in Amos's shoes. He's really laughing his tail feathers off over this one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jul 16 - 06:08 PM

Gluon has been hyperspatilaizing the Republican National Convention, in the hopes that by defragmenting the lobes and distortions formed by an intense accumulation of random chaos-derived mass at various intervals the length and breadth of that segment of the Continuum he might be able to manage the penetration of a small amount of light. So far, no light has been seen escaping from the distortions and the Continuum continues to look like an atrophied bowel with rabid histiocytomas eating at it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jul 16 - 07:58 AM

Gluon left me something as well. Now I gotta get the carpet cleaned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Jul 16 - 03:21 AM

I have received the following email from Gluon:


Quark!


(Translation: A Hyperspatial Roller Derby rink! Wow! You gotta be kiddin'! I freakin' LOVE Hyperspatial Roller Derby! I mean, like, I've enjoyed visiting your planet and hangin' with you guys and all that shit, but a Hyperspatial Roller Derby rink! Been nice knowin' ya.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 16 - 10:05 PM

Well, they did it. The Idaho Legion finally got the twin 40mm Bofors gun outside the Hovel to shoot.

They had to use it as a muzzle loader, of course. They poured about 270 grams of 1F black powder down each muzzle and rammed in a load of scrap metal rolled up inside a greased burlap sack.

Fortunately Tater Jack and the boys had the forethought to drill fuse holes BEFORE loading the powder. They tried this once before with a length of sewer pipe and found that it wasn't smart to drill the fuse holes into the powder after it was loaded in the pipe.

Anyway, they rolled both fuses into one and lit it. I have to say that uproar exceeded their wildest dreams. The cops came (again). The fire department came. The Union Pacific Railroad came -- something about some scrap metal landing on a car transporting BMWs. And the FAA had a lot to say about how the boys nearly shot down a CRJ belonging to Skywest.

The last was easily dealt with by explaining that it was, after all, an anti-aircraft gun and the commercial jet should have expected to get shot at if it was flying into active anti-aircraft shooting practice.

So, if anyone would like to contribute to bail money for Tater Jack, Slim Fats, Filthy Bill, and the rest (too numerous to mention) please let me know. The Colonel General informed them that the Bail Fund was empty after the Fourth of July Annual Bash and Celebration.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jul 16 - 09:27 PM

It certainly is nice to know that the Galactic Overlord has its eye on us. I get warm, fuzzy feelings just thinking about it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Jul 16 - 09:08 PM

I have received the following email addendum from The Galactic Overlord:

Dear Bee-dubya,

Needless to say, that should have been "GOs" in my earlier email, not "GAs". A GA would be a Galactic Asshole. While that is perhaps an apt description of the fellow who oversees the Large Magellanic Cloud, I wouldn't apply it to most of my fellow GOs.

Again, enjoy your last few months of existence.


Yours Truly,

The Galactic Overlord


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Jul 16 - 07:33 PM

I have received the following email from The Galactic Overlord:

Dear Bee-dubya,

I am rapidly becoming extremely disgusted with your species. In meetings with my fellow GAs from nearby galaxies, I have gone to bat for Homo Sapiens more times than I can remember. I really thought you guys had so much unrealized potential. But it has recently become abundantly clear to me that you're nothing but a bunch of brainless fuckups incapable of making rational decisions that actually benefit your own welfare.

I have decided that the region of your solar system currently occupied by your planet's orbit would be better used as a hyperspatial Roller Derby rink. Construction will begin on the second Tuesday in November.

Enjoy the time you have left.


Sincerely,

The Galactic Overlord


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Jul 16 - 01:29 PM

So is this dressing up for a date with your doctor?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jul 16 - 10:14 AM

"Chongo, Chongo, Chongo, I don't want to leave the Congo, no, no, no, no, no...." (music playing)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 16 - 09:57 AM

"Why, M17 is an arm of aytch are em's Services," said Penelope, wide-eyed and innocently.

"I figgered that out, chicky," replied Chonga, reverting in her language to her previous, ill-paying, occupation of tough private dick. "But what I wanna know is, what do they do?"

"W...they serve her majesty, the queen!" Penelope answered with a grin. "And depending upon who is on the Throne, they might well serve his majesty the queen, as they did Edward II."

"I thought M17 was for propaganda," interjected Chinga.

"Only the cover of a cover," said Penelope. "And I must tell you both that you know more than citizens of the UK and bad things may happen to you if you blab about it."

There was a knock on the door. Chinga answered it and all but whistled at the man who knocked.

Tall, obviously fit, his clothing for deep cold did nothing to hide his military bearing. He introduced himself.

"Good evening, ladies. I am General Sir Nigel West. May I come in?"

"Nigel!" gushed Penelope with sincerity. "Come in! Come in! This is Chinga and this is her twin sister Chonga. Chinga, Chonga...my old friend Nigel West. He has letters after his name, like VC and OBE and CGC and...."

"PhD," said Nigel. He smiled and said, "I finished last month. Oxcam. History. If you'd like to read it, I have copies of my dissertation, 'On the Use of the Welsh Archer as Sniper During the Wars of the Roses, With Notes Upon the Ballistics of Yew Arrows and Bows When Compared to Those of Other Nations, Especially Those of the Siberian Steppes.' It's only slightly over a thousand pages, and a certain cure for insomnia."

"I thought Wales was conquered by England long before the Wars of the Roses," Penelope said.

"Yeah," said Chonga. "In somethin' like 1299 it was all over for the jWelsh."

"Indeed," replied Nigel, "which made the damned thing easy to write, as there were no Welsh archers -- they were English. But it was a big hit with Professors Llywelyn ap Gruffudd and Owain Gwynedd, both of whom were named for Welsh kings. I doubt if they read it beyond the title."

"Celebrate!" exclaimed Penelope as she handed him a glass of the Talisker.

He sipped it and said, "Ladies, we have a bit of a journey ahead and it must be done started immediately. Please bundle up against the cold and bring a minimum of baggage -- something that you might carry had you been shopping."

They dressed for the weather, gathering a few things.

Nigel let them out though an alarmed exit door, which didn't alarm, and they boarded a snowcoach painted in winter camouflage. It drove away without almost no noise whatsoever; when they were clear of the town the driver put it in a mile-eating speed of 60 miles per hour.

"Okay, Nigel. I got the message you were coming to help us, so as our friend Chonga would say, let's have it. Spill the beans. What's up?"

(What, indeed, IS up? Why is the UK government invovled? And what is the Lone Ranger's secret identity? All this and more, coming up!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 16 - 09:45 PM

Undress? That would be immodest and very much against my principles! Only my departed mother ever saw me nekkid and then only briefly after I was born! The good nuns who taught me told us never to git nekkid under any circumstances, and everyone in my class obeyed them. Why, I ever bathe clothed (it's a simple way to wash my clothes)! In point of fact, I am considering wearing a burqa all the time. Sister Peter of Lombardy would approve.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jul 16 - 02:38 PM

That's like saying, "Why get dressed up for a date, when in many cases (at least hopefully) you'll be asked to undress?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Jul 16 - 02:33 PM

Acme... first impression. And, I need all the help I can get. >;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jul 16 - 12:09 PM

gnu, why get dressed up for a doctor when in many instances you'll be asked to undress?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 16 - 03:56 AM

Rapparree:

As for pits of desolation, blame Little Hawk, who brought it up a few posts before my scientific analysis.

We had a glorious party this afternoon, t celebrate a friends jour de naissance. Wine flowed, music played, laughter rang on every hand. It just went on and on. Then we washed all the dishes with the birthday boy, and cleaned everything up. It was grand, I tell you. Mom would have loved it, but she couldn't come, as she was busy trying to discipline Rapparree for having a garbage mouth.

Great story, Rapp. Keep up the good work!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jul 16 - 01:26 AM

Ah, what noble and heroic stuff! Lovely!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 16 - 09:58 PM

Do ye mean the Scottish poet who wrote:

    Fareweel to a' our Scottish fame,
    Fareweel our ancient glory;
    Fareweel ev'n to the Scottish name,
    Sae fam'd in martial story.
    Now Sark rins over Solway sands,
    An' Tweed rins to the ocean,
    To mark where England's province stands-
    Such a parcel of rogues in a nation!

    What force or guile could not subdue,
    Thro' many warlike ages,
    Is wrought now by a coward few,
    For hireling traitor's wages.
    The English steel we could disdain,
    Secure in valour's station;
    But English gold has been our bane -
    Such a parcel of rogues in a nation!

    O would, ere I had seen the day
    That Treason thus could sell us,
    My auld grey head had lien in clay,
    Wi' Bruce and loyal Wallace!
    But pith and power, till my last hour,
    I'll mak this declaration;
    We're bought and sold for English gold-
    Such a parcel of rogues in a nation!


and

The drums of war were sounding far,
When Johnnie Cope cam tae Dunbar,
When Johnnie Cope cam tae Dunbar,
Upon a misty Morning

Cope Sent a a Message tae Dunbar
Said; 'Charlie meet me if you daur,
'And I'll learn you the arts of war,
'If you'll meet me in the morning'

Chorus:
Hey Johnnie Cope are you wauking yet,
Or are your drums a- beating yet?
If you were wauking I would wait,
Tae gang tae The Coals in the morning

When Charlie looked this letter upon,
He drew his sword the scabbard from,
Come follow me my merry men,
And we'll meet Johnnie Cope in the morning.

When Johnnie Cope he heard o' this,
He thought it wouldna be amiss,
To hae a horse in readiness,
To flee awa' inthe morning.

Fye now Johnnie, get up and run,
The Highland bagpipes mak a din,
It's better tae sleep in a hale skin.
For 'twill be a bloody morning.

When Johnnie Cope tae Dunbar came,
They spiered at him, 'where's a' your men?'
'The Deil confound me gin I ken,
For I left them a this morning.'

Now Jonnie troth, ye were na blate,
Tae come wi' news o' your ain defeat,
And leave your men in sic a strait
So early in the morning.

'Faith', quo Johnnie, 'I had sic fegs,
Wi' their claymores and their philabegs,
If I face them again Deil brak ma legs,
So I wish you a' good morning.'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jul 16 - 09:50 PM

Well, no, I just am not familiar with MacGonall's work....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Jul 16 - 08:25 PM

What? You got a problem wid MacGonall?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jul 16 - 04:56 PM

Pardon the typo. I meant MacGonagall, not MacGonall.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jul 16 - 04:55 PM

LOL!!! I love it when Rap and Amos start insulting one another in a lofty and superior fashion. It's very entertaining.

Your alternate reality story is intriguing too, Rap, though I have no idea who the character "Chonga" is supposed to be. Got any more MacGonall poems for us?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 16 - 09:25 PM

They were seated in the Presidential Suite (President of the oil companies, not a nation -- it was far more luxurious) sipping Talisker 1958 when there was an imperative knocking at the door.

Penelope arose and went to the door. "Who is it?" she asked.

A male voice answered, "Police. Open up."

She did. A man was disappearing from view as a woman thrust Penelope aside and entered. She strode over to the table and drank some of the whisky from the bottle. Wiping her mouth with her sleeve, she started a harangue.

"You bitches are trying to cut in. Well, I won't stand for it, you hear? I've had the franchise here for years. I inherited it from my father. And now you come in! A bunch of illegal aliens trying to muscle in on my turf...er, permafrost. A couple of apes or something and a la-dee-dah from Merry Old. Well, things happen to buttinskees up here! The Beaufort Sea is cold and better than fifteen thousand feet deep, and you're going to end up at the bottom if all three of you don't skip now. Get out of Alaska, or as certain as my name is Sorry Paling I'll have all of you boring old holes tossed in some old bore holes!"

And she drank from the bottle again, wiped her mouth on the other sleeve, and stormed out. The door slammed loudly behind her.

"Well!" said Penelope as she picked up her purse. "That tears it. We're in for long haul now, I suppose."

"Caga," said the multilingual Chinga. "I want to talk with the pilot." And she began calling on her satellite phone.

"I wish I have my old Tommy chopper," mused Chonga. "All I kept from my old life was the 1917 Colt. And a couple other things, of course."

Outside there was the sound of a shattering explosion. Very shortly thereafter the room phone rang. Chinga answered.

"Hello? Who? Stan? What's...the plane blew up? What happened?" And there was a pause. Then she said, "Don't worry about it. We'll take care of everything. Listen, did you have our bags off the plane? Good. You're expected here, a room is reserved for you. Bring the bags yourself to the Presidential Suite. You, no one else. And Stan -- you'll understand when I say, 'Don't take any wooden nickels. Now we'll see you in a bit, okay? Bye." And she rang off.

"That really tears it, sisters. Our jet was just blown to bits out on the runway at the airport. And I do mean bits. Stan had, fortunately, unloaded the baggage and had it with him as he drank a cup of coffee in the pilot's lounge. He's bringing it over now."

"The plane was insured," said Penelope. "There will be another along tomorrow; I feared something like this -- although not so dramatic! -- and had a standby loaded. Duplicate everything, if you catch my drift, Chinga. Now I want some things in my baggage, as I'm certain you do. Chonga, if you have that old bean-shooter, haul it out; we'll have something a bit more up-to-date for you in a little while."

She sighed. "I'd hoped that we might avoid this, but war has been declared. I greatly fear that we need make Sorry sorry."

(What's in the baggage? Why did the plane literally blow to bits? Don't miss our next thrilling installment!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 16 - 08:42 PM

What pit? What desolation? Amos, are you off on one of your delusional journeys again? You know that the psychiatrist said that the next time you'd have to placed under continuous care again, and the NYCFTTS and Nurse Ratchett await you. I understand that they have a new therapy where two people on different floors can be treated at the same time; it's kind of like a merry-go-round.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jul 16 - 07:15 PM

Cousin Claire posted a pic of her roses on FB. I clicked like. I got a BTW, did you know or see it in the Saturday newspaper?, PM. Her husband has shut down his practice. I have a new doc. I asked Mr. Google. He just graduated. I went to his new office to check it out. Closed (Friday eh?). Two names on the door with a torn off label in between. My appointment is on the 8 at 9AM. The first appointment that Gloria (I will miss her) could book for me some three months ago. Now, the 1 is a holiday. So... could it be that I have the very first appointment with this pup?

In any case, should I dress in my usual jeans and undershirt/white dress shirt combo avec red Budweiser cap? Or should I go full bore with the three piece blue pinstripe avec red silk poof (pouf?) in the breast pocket and the 100+year railroad pocket watch that olddude gave me hanging on a gold chain in my vest pocket? Should I greet with, "Good morning, sir. Very pleased to meet you. I look forward to having you help me with my health and well being in the coming years?" Or should I say, "I assume you have read my file. What the fuck is the hold up on the ENT and colonoscopy referrals? Can I get some fuckin customer service here fer Chrissake?!"

I think I may go with the suit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jul 16 - 06:14 PM

Roger... minds me a
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6WjfuxfIiw.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jul 16 - 04:30 PM

The "desolation of the Pit "is a description of certain mental states that appear to obtain both acutely and chronically within a 2.5 kilometer radius of Pocatello, Idaho. Physicists and psychologists have been baffled as to its cause, but historians have hazarded the theory that it began shortly after a management turnover in the Public Library. Grant applications are being prepared to pursue further inquiries.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 15 Jul 16 - 01:05 PM

No, your imperial Rapness, a great chasm appears fixed between Pocatello and Wawa; when I lived briefly in Montgomery County, I too encountered Wawa stores.

As for Detritus, I cannot see the word without thinking of dear Sergeant Detritus, the troll on the Ankh-Morpork Night Watch in Terry Pratchett's Discworld books. Poor dear troll-man, whenever Sergeant Detritus salutes his Watch Captain, he risks knocking himself unconscious with the sheer brute force of his mighty troll hand connecting with his forehead. He is one of the most reliably hilarious of Pratchett's characters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jul 16 - 11:34 AM

I hope that when you say "the desolation of the Pit", Rap, you are not referring to Shane's unwashed armpit(s).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 16 - 08:50 AM

I once attended a concert by Roger Miller where the opening act was a little-known, struggling comedian named Steve Martin. Also on the bill was a group called "The Stoning Rolls"; I understand they changed their name and has some moderate success later.

Those old groups and singers were great: Firth, Ind, and Wire; Chicago Transit Administration; The Beadles; Hermione and the Hermies; the Mad Twichell Trio; Pedro, Pablo, y Maria; Pelvis Wreckly; Slack Babbath; Huddy Bowelly and the Rickets; and of course Ned Tugent. All part of my youth! Now we have only Amos and the Old Folks, the Geriatrics, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and the rest. Rap isn't any better than rock, with such performers as Nice Tea, Two Cents, Droop Snog, and Widdle Lane. Thank goodness we have Classical music like Batch and Beathaven to fall back on!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Jul 16 - 05:15 AM

Apathetic Detritus! I remember them! I saw them perform once. They were the opening act for Apoplectic Dermatitis. Or maybe it was the other way around.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jul 16 - 02:42 AM

Had the dance floor full playing some mojo music tonight. Mom would have loved it if she hadn't been tangled up with the apathetic detritus of the broken minds and souls of Blind River and their cohorts and ilk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jul 16 - 10:52 PM

The Wawa artwork is very 1970s - 80s. What's old is new again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jul 16 - 09:58 PM

I checked and there are no Wawa stores near me.

I suspect that there won't be for quite a while.

Oh darn.


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