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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 25 Sep 16 - 10:35 AM
Rapparee 24 Sep 16 - 05:24 PM
Rapparee 23 Sep 16 - 10:24 PM
Rapparee 23 Sep 16 - 08:25 AM
Rapparee 22 Sep 16 - 09:15 PM
gnu 22 Sep 16 - 08:57 PM
Amos 22 Sep 16 - 05:03 PM
Amos 22 Sep 16 - 05:00 PM
keberoxu 22 Sep 16 - 03:03 PM
gnu 22 Sep 16 - 12:38 PM
Rapparee 22 Sep 16 - 10:34 AM
gnu 21 Sep 16 - 11:57 PM
gnu 21 Sep 16 - 11:55 PM
gnu 21 Sep 16 - 11:51 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Sep 16 - 10:40 PM
Rapparee 21 Sep 16 - 10:10 PM
gnu 21 Sep 16 - 09:19 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Sep 16 - 07:56 PM
gnu 21 Sep 16 - 12:10 PM
Rapparee 21 Sep 16 - 09:20 AM
Rapparee 20 Sep 16 - 08:37 PM
gnu 20 Sep 16 - 07:57 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Sep 16 - 11:52 AM
gnu 20 Sep 16 - 11:34 AM
Rapparee 20 Sep 16 - 09:38 AM
gnu 19 Sep 16 - 11:27 PM
Rapparee 19 Sep 16 - 08:53 PM
gnu 19 Sep 16 - 07:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Sep 16 - 06:23 PM
gnu 18 Sep 16 - 10:14 PM
Rapparee 18 Sep 16 - 09:32 PM
gnu 18 Sep 16 - 02:02 PM
Rapparee 18 Sep 16 - 01:22 PM
MMario 18 Sep 16 - 12:27 PM
Acme 18 Sep 16 - 11:02 AM
gnu 17 Sep 16 - 12:26 PM
gnu 17 Sep 16 - 12:13 PM
gnu 17 Sep 16 - 11:58 AM
Rapparee 17 Sep 16 - 10:34 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Sep 16 - 10:22 AM
Rapparee 16 Sep 16 - 09:29 PM
gnu 16 Sep 16 - 01:48 PM
Acme 16 Sep 16 - 10:45 AM
Rapparee 16 Sep 16 - 09:37 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Sep 16 - 09:35 AM
gnu 16 Sep 16 - 08:46 AM
MMario 16 Sep 16 - 05:39 AM
Rapparee 15 Sep 16 - 10:10 PM
gnu 15 Sep 16 - 11:34 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Sep 16 - 10:58 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Sep 16 - 10:35 AM

I was strolling through Sobeys today and spied a display of Red Rose Tea, picked up a box and read, under licence by Unilver of Toronto. It may have been started in Saint John, New Brunswick but it was blended in Uppity Canada when I was a boy and I assume it still is today. No matter, King Cole by Barbour's is blended in Sussex, NB. I recall the old man always packing a box of King Cole Tea whenever we went on vacation up-along.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 16 - 05:24 PM

Now Chongo Chimp has changed his/her moniker to "Chongou" in a Chinese angle as a fakealoo to avoid being hit by Chicago lightning. I found out that a torpedo named Big Johnny, a real gorilla, was hired to take that chimp out and whatever CC is now called has shaking gams from from being caught working both sides of the street. Big Johnny got the contract from the Northside Apes with orders to "make it messy" so BJ's gonna use a load of double ought from a sawed off 8 gauge. Better than a pair of concrete overshoes, maybe. And letting the daylight in is george with bulls, too!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 16 - 10:24 PM

And the piobrach.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 16 - 08:25 AM

We also sent the glockenspiel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 16 - 09:15 PM

Did she get the kettle drum/tympani set?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Sep 16 - 08:57 PM

Did you get to play with Dani while she played the Bodhran I got for her in the Mudcat auction from Sorcha? Hmmm. Maybe I am not supposed to mention that. The people that presented it to her didn't even tell her I was the one that got it for her. Odd how people you think you know and trust do shit like that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Sep 16 - 05:03 PM

DAMN. Bigger Tables is to be found at Bigger Tables. Bad link solly. Tell your culinary friends!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Sep 16 - 05:00 PM

Dang, gang, one and all, hallooo and hahahahaha. Why? Because I am in the lovely homey kitchen of Ms Dani Black, folksinger and founder of no less a world-class establishment than the renowned BIGGER TABLES! consultancy in all things culinary, and tomorrow I will load up a biggish van with folkies and head out across the broad Piedmont hills to the sunny shores of Maryland. If you want folkish music, come to the FSGW Getaway! If you want to start or improve the operation of a restaurant, cafe, or institutional eatery, call on Bigger Tables!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 22 Sep 16 - 03:03 PM

I saw that as well, gnu. Don't have a clue why we're getting all the threads active in the past month.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Sep 16 - 12:38 PM

Just got a text from my buddy... "Got it". I may need a tissue. >;-)

Well, to be truthful, I do need a tissue. He's a single father (slave) of two teenagers and this will put a lot of meat on the table.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 16 - 10:34 AM

July??? Of this year? I can call forth the very first post! All you have to do is clap your hands while spinning around looking at the ceiling while you say, "I DO believe in Max!" over and over. Eventually the very first Mudcat post will appear and/or you will fall down and throw up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Sep 16 - 11:57 PM

Here's the oldest... 21 Jul 16 - 05:20 PM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Sep 16 - 11:55 PM

What just happened to The Mudcat Café? HUNDREDS of threads showing up as if there is no date limit???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Sep 16 - 11:51 PM

Ooooh, I'd like to have of those meself. That looks comfy.

However, at my age I'd rather have the latest mooze in... 1144# field dressed. What a monster. There are bigger in NB but few and far between since the forestry devastation here continues at an accelerating pace (global swarming big time). Families that rely on harvesting game are hard put and the only ones that benefit from the destruction of The Acadian Forest are big corporations that don't even pay taxes in Canada.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Sep 16 - 10:40 PM

The best way to safe deck space is to have a transom-mounted fighting chair.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 16 - 10:10 PM

Go with the folding one. Saves valuable deck space.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Sep 16 - 09:19 PM

Go with the modern high-tech one. He's looks so happy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Sep 16 - 07:56 PM

Mom! Listen! I have a plan that will solve the economic problems of everybody in the whole world! All of them! It's so simple! Just divorce Brad Pitt and get a gazillion dollar settlement!

So far, only one other person's figured it out, and she's going to get her share, but why should she be the only one? I'm going to file papers tomorrow!

Now, I have to decide whether to outfit the Bertram 42 I'll be buying with a vintage mahogany fighting chair or a modern high-tech one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Sep 16 - 12:10 PM

Steeped rat crap... that'll wake ya up in the AM. I saw something this AM that stopped me dead in my tracks. I picked up a box of Tim Horton's Steeped Tea. Not a word of lie. $9.99 ($10.00 as we Canucks don't use pennies any more) for 12 bags (I forget what was on the box but they meant bags). Steeped Tea. Never heard of that in my life... all tea is steeped... that's how one make tea. One steeps it. I buy 240 King Cole tea bags for $7 to $8 when it's on sale.

The mooze pics are rollin' in in a FB group of which I am a member. Nothing from my buddy yet. Hellish warm fer moosin' but down to 10C tonight so I have me fingers crossed and the old cast iron is ready ta go.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 16 - 09:20 AM

Old King Cole. Since the tea sits around the warehouse before being processed, usually for a year or more, OLD is the correct word. It's the rat leavings that give it its peculiar flavour and odour. (NB: Canadian spellings.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 16 - 08:37 PM

You should see how they get the sticks for their chai! Or maybe better not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Sep 16 - 07:57 PM

Pee? Maybe Bluenosers but not Herring Chokers. We got class, we does.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Sep 16 - 11:52 AM

I have it on good authority that G. E. Barbour obtains their "chocolate flavouring" by providing large cups of complimentary hot cocoa to their employees, and then having them pee on a bale of tea leaves.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Sep 16 - 11:34 AM

""King Cole Chocolate Flavoured Tea.""!!! Oh, NOW I'm writing a Dog Damned letter!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 16 - 09:38 AM

Old King Cole was a weary old soul
And he called for his very own tea!
Then he called for his handler
And a toilet bowl
Because he had to pee.
       (Old "King Cole Tea" advertising motto from August, 2016)

Yeah, right. G. E. Barbour makes "King Cole Tea", "Morse's Tea," and "Red Rose Tea" all pretty much from the same bunch of leaves and using the same machinery. They are also the Canadian outlet for Tetley's, Bigelow, and Lipton's and are proud enough to mention this on their website.

But the tea on the King Cole website that intrigues is is "King Cole Chocolate Flavoured Tea." From the ingredients there is no chocolate in it, just "chocolate flavouring." YOU make yourself at home with it, I prefer TEA when I drink tea -- not chai or Kool-Aid.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Sep 16 - 11:27 PM

"Red Rose teabags fit New Brunswick like a glove on a cold hand, that it's considered the best tea up that-a-way." Red Rose? DISHWATER! Surely you are just yankin' my chain? Red Rose? From Uppity Canada? Red Rose? Buddy, you are just short of gettin' a letter sent to your sorry ass.

King Cole Orange Pekoe outta Sussex, New Brunswick, preferably boiled in one a them old tomatoe juice cans what we hangs upside downy on every second fir tree up country fer the next fellah ta use. Filled with bog water and boiled over an open fire. Served with oatmeal cookies like Dad used ta make.

Red Rose tea in New Brunswick? JAYSUS H. CHRIST! How DARE you, sir!!!

Next thing, you'll be telling me them there Tetley Elves aren't on the endangered species list in NB. Well, they are on accounta we step on the little fuckers in the Name of the King. Long live King Cole!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 16 - 08:53 PM

I usually drink tea in the woods, but I figured coffee, you guys being Canucks and all. But if you want tea, I understand that Red Rose teabags fit New Brunswick like a glove on a cold hand, that it's considered the best tea up that-a-way. Now, if I want some good coffee I'll just have some of the 100% Kona I have, and we've got a cabinet full of good teas like Yorkshire Gold and Fortnum & Mason. But whatever tips your canoe, as they say Way Up North.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Sep 16 - 07:43 PM

"... some people mix with Irish whiskey." You don't say? Imagine that.

Fourty (forty) minutes ago, I plagiarized in a FB group...

8PM. Bedtime for the lucky ones. >;-) Sleep well,

'Twas the night before Moosemas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The guns and ammo were set by the door with care,
In hopes that a big bull soon would be theirs;
The hunters were nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of filled tags danced in their heads;...

Good luck. Bonne chasse.

Especially Roch on accounta I wants me a feed a mooze eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Sep 16 - 06:23 PM

Coffee is that brown stuff some people mix with Irish whiskey.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Sep 16 - 10:14 PM

Coffee? I never heard of that. What do you use it for?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Sep 16 - 09:32 PM

Oh fer...he probably forgot the aluminum foil too! Did he include some warm clothes? Waterproof boots? Ammunition? Coffee? A toque for his head? His head?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Sep 16 - 02:02 PM

A case of rye. Check. A case of rum. Check. Mix. Check. Beerssss. Check. More grub than four men can eat in a week. Check. Licences. Check. Guns. Check. Bullets. Check. Sharp/dull knives. Check/check. Compass and maps? Check. Pepper. Check. Someone who can actually call moose (he never learned even though I called a lot of 'em in for fun while he was with me). Check.

I went through my buddy's list with him yesterday. He's got most of the essentials correct. He's never been in charge of logistics, recon, and support services and supplies before. I mean, string? Seriously, he forgot string... butcher cord. WTF? A first aid kit with slings? A splint? A Jeepjack... more than one come-along... more than one block pulley... whistle... waterproof matches... the list goes on. Unfortunately, he just hasn't got the time to put it all together now but, as long as he has the essentials, he'll be okay.

Kids these days, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Sep 16 - 01:22 PM

Aw, gnu's got him a sweet tomato, a cute little ladybug.   She uses a cane on one side and he uses one on the other and down the lane they hobble, all balanced and everything.

Beware! She might be an early girl, but you deserve a better girl! She's got them Roma eyes!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Sep 16 - 12:27 PM

"will find that your health is quickly deteriorating just as your finances are dwindling."

One reason I Did NOT wait until 65 to untire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Sep 16 - 11:02 AM

Looks like both MMario and Gnu will be on Mudcat less, because romance is equally distracting as untirement.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Sep 16 - 12:26 PM

FYI... TLL brought back 6 Kumatos, one of which is green. She said, in her sweet, soft voice, some of her friends like them green or ripe and that the green ones are also sweet. I guess she hangs out with people that swing both ways.

Knock it off, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Sep 16 - 12:13 PM

Oh! Yeah! Fifteen years ago today, I woke up to millions and millions of cardboard boxes in my new-to-me house next door to Mum and started unpacking. I really should get around to unpacking the rest of them.

Gary and Ladybug Lady
Sitting in a tree
K I S S I N G
First comes love and...

KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Sep 16 - 11:58 AM

Gary's got a girlfriend... Gary's got a girlfriend. I can see it coming. Well, I don't! She just has sweet tomatoes. Kumatos to be exact. Remember the Ladybug Lady? Showed up at my door and wanted to know what those "long tomatoes" are. Roma. I picked a ripe one and gave it to her. I'da given her more but there was only one ripe one.

She asked me if I knew what a Kumato is ('Kumato' is a trade name given to a patented cultivar of tomato developed in Spain called 'Olmeca', which went by experimental number SX 387. 'Kumato' is a standard-size tomato cultivar weighing between 80 and 120 grams). Nope. She explained and asked if I wanted some. I said I'd like to try one. She asked if Mum might like to try one. Yes. Off she went. I put about 15 Sweet 100 Cherry tomatoes in a baggy and tried to make it back to the yard so she wouldn't have to hobble (cane) up and down the small hill at yard's end but she was already back.

She has beautiful blues eyes like I have except hers are not red from the copious nights of unbridled drunken debauchery and mayhem, lo these many years. NO! I do NOT have a girlfriend. I can't wait to try her sweet tomatoes. I am sure she'll like my sweet tomatoes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Sep 16 - 10:34 AM

Bear in mind that every number ending in "55" for the next 1,000 posts is MINE! I have dibs!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Sep 16 - 10:22 AM

We now must face the distinct possibility that MMario's untirement may mean the end of his posting BS at the Mudcat in general, and at the MOAB in particular.

A study by the Poo Research Center has shown that being bored at work is the #1 reason for Mudcat BS posting. Removing work and work-related boredom from the equation leaves the vast majority of well-balanced individuals with no earthly reason whatsoever to waste their time posting BS.

The fact that the majority of regular MOAB posters are either untired or semi-untired in no way contradicts the survey's results since the term "well-balanced" cannot reasonably be applied to any of them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Sep 16 - 09:29 PM

Now you, MMario, will find that your health is quickly deteriorating just as your finances are dwindling. However, you will have more free time for surgery, so there's some good news. Naturally, you'll want to keep your mind sharp so watch a lot of Fox News and ESPN. I urge you to keep your joint flexible, so start with your fingers and take up the banjo -- for a better overall workout the accordion can't be beat. Remember to...something....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Sep 16 - 01:48 PM

I was gonna try to wait until 4:30 Pm, Mudcat Time but I don't wanna be remiss in missing it so...

CONGRATULATIONS! Welcome to a fuxed income, Leo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Sep 16 - 10:45 AM

Congratulations, Leo! Here, the ability exists, but the financial wherewithal doesn't. Will you now begin traveling around the US to meet all of MOM's children? Please come through Texas!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Sep 16 - 09:37 AM

MMario seems kind of newsy today. He should be aware that "retired" means that that you are tired again and/or that you have purchased or otherwise procured new round rubbery things for the wheels of your vehicle. Should he mean that he has quit the workaday fray, and should then be invited to go back to work he would be a retired retired retired retread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The MotMMario,her of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Sep 16 - 09:35 AM

I'm confused about this "retirement" thing. In common English usage, the prefix "re" means to do again. Right? Therefore, to "retire" means to "tire again". Yet, when we conclude our working lives, we are said to "retire". So, when we leave our jobs because we're tired of working, we retire and get tired all over again! It makes no sense! Wouldn't it be more logical to "untire" instead of "retire"? I think so.

Happy untirement, MMario!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Sep 16 - 08:46 AM

3.75# of green beans, spuds, carrots, cabbage, 3.7kg smoked pork picnic shoulder. Then, I slept until 8AM today. Didn't take my blood pressure this AM. No need to raise it any higher.

4C when I got up. That'll get the mooze movin'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Sep 16 - 05:39 AM

At 4:30 Pm, Mudcat Time, I will be retired.


That is all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 16 - 10:10 PM

That was actually quite beyond The Pale. However, there are Moher Cliffs to be seen in the Clare air than there are dingleberries to be found in Dingle. I know, I've been to both -- I even tried with a young colleen in the Con Her Pass, but I got a good Dunquin instead and had to be carried back in a Blasket, a real Blasket case.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Sep 16 - 11:34 AM

BWL... well done!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Sep 16 - 10:58 AM

Then there are the Danes who settled in Country Clare, Ireland. Clare Danes are well know for their acting abilities.


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Mudcat time: 25 September 1:20 PM EDT

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