BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 May 13 - 09:04 PM

Is that done with a conCERTO?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 May 13 - 08:19 PM

That's tempting - but I'm happy that my diet is slowly but steadily working. I've set aside several garments now that are too large, and pulled things out of the back of the closet that I can wear again. That's more encouraging that a detour to the carrot cake, as tempting as it might be.

Now if it was Braums' cherry pecan cream ice cream . . .

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 May 13 - 08:17 PM

Oh, Rapparree, oh Rapparree
The consummate master he,
Not of art literary
Nor the making of melody
But disingenuity!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 18 May 13 - 07:57 PM

"Get yer filthy hands OFF me, you damn, dirty Republican!!!" - attributed to King Kong, while he was being held captive on a ship bound for New York Harbour in 1933.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 13 - 06:04 PM

Amos, I did not call you a Republican. I was simply using a simile. But you know what they say about wearing shoes that fit...and if you need to go the Mexico to get fixed, well, I'd think that you could get someone to do the job with a tree stump and a sledge hammer for free.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 May 13 - 04:48 PM

Green beans at the Coop! $2.99 a pound. I paid $6.15. Gonna be a green bean Sunday supper with all the fixins. Yeah, baby! Bakin carrot cake with a cream cheese icing for dessert. Diet be damned!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 May 13 - 02:11 PM

This may be the first time since my childhood that anyone called me a Republican. I think I should start worrying about my friend Rapparree. I mean, his eyesight AND his memory are failing him...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Pepe Gonzales
Date: 18 May 13 - 12:27 PM

Hey, hombre...don' esspect Mexico (Meh-hee-ko) to feex what ees plainly beyond feexin'! We jus' take hees monee, you know, but to t'ink we gonna feex him...get real, man!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 13 - 11:24 AM

Not my hearing aids, those guys. They have gray hair, those that aren't bald or completely white. And some are using a cane! Not one of them can run even an eight-minute mile in combat gear any more! You'd think that they were never soldiers once! Even their beards are gray!

Of course, I can't run an eight-minute mile in combat gear either, but hen I never could. Faked it back in the day, like so many other guys...did...like all of those guys probably....

But a lot of them have VA service-connected stuff like...me.

Hmmm.... Nah, I ain't old. I'm just more mellow than a SoCal Republican who gets himself fixed in Mexico 'cause it's cheaper there.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 May 13 - 05:20 AM

SRS... oh my! She has lost weight and it does not suit her. I must email her and see if she wants to drop in for a boiled ham dinner this weekend. That'll help fatten her up. Well, that's IF I can find some decent green beans. The green beans were absolutely beautiful for the last month. Bought a lovely smoked ham and a small cabbage on Monday when the forecast was cold, wet and windy starting Wednesday. Went to get the beans... crappy! Went to my main grocery... NO beans! Same yesterday. I am distraught.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 13 - 10:16 PM

Probably. She looks like the kind of Kent County floozie gnu would go for in a big way.

Just got back from the first half of the quinquennial National Guard unit reunion. God, those dudes are OLD! Hearing aids, all sorts of things. Not young and virile like me. I mean, I use hearing aids but they're like, OLD!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 17 May 13 - 09:53 PM

Is this your heartthrob, gnu?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 May 13 - 04:17 PM

It's a metaphoru and certainly not a suggestion for any actual violence. But Cindy is a babe. I wouldn't wish her any harm... unless she continues to be a weather terrorist that attempts to scare people in to "staying tuned"... she scares the eldery and that is a stormy situation for me.

I am listening (to zPeter Coad) now... frost! Snow up north! HOLY FUCK!!! It's spring! I love it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 13 - 03:49 PM

Might shoot the weather vane, or the barometer, but not the person who just reports the bad news.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 May 13 - 02:16 PM

Relatively as cold as a whore's heart here. If a Texan tried to do any gardening in my yard, they'd have on boots, warm clothing, gloves and a hat. If they had my LeBlanc ears, they'd have a wads of cotton batting stuffed in their ears. If a CAiac was here, they'd book a flight flight home. If an ID type was here, he'd shoot the weatherperson. But not Cindy Day on accounta she is a babe.

This is a May like the old Mays I knew back in the day. Windows open, windows closed, repeat as required. It's called spring and I LIKE it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 17 May 13 - 12:49 PM

Looks like a hot day today, MOM. Let's move your porch chair further back into the shade and turn on that ceiling fan. You can bring your tablet out to the porch and read Amos' new book.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 13 - 11:46 AM

Amos, here are some anonymous reviews I've written just for you to use:

"Reaches the breathless heights of Irene Iddesleigh."

"A new literary standard!"

"Jane Austen, Ernest Hemingway -- get out of the way!"

"If I never have another book, I must have this one!" -- J. C. Gilkey.

"A successful book is not made of what is in it, but of what is left out of it." -- Mark Twain.

"If you only buy one book this year!"

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 13 - 10:16 AM

It is really off to wake up of a morning and not have to worry about the next thing to do on that fershlugginer book! I have to do a whole marketing thing, sure, but it's a totally different kind of task. I feel unburdened, as though a tooth had been pulled. :D

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 13 - 09:58 AM

I had a mind like that once. I think I might remember it distinctly as a distant, fuzzy, memory. If memory serves I had to sell it to pay my bar bills or someone named "Big Tony" was going to "bust my kneecaps."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 May 13 - 06:57 AM

Oh dear me! Of course it's the book. I have a mind like a steel trap. It is, however, rusted open.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 13 - 12:21 AM

So if it's not music it must be mathematics or physics. Perhaps you have taught a laser to read equations while solving them at the same time.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 13 - 06:55 PM

Ah, dear Canuck it's noo music. 'T is a boook! Aye, the readin' sorta booke, as you would want on the beach of a summer day if you ever wanted to turn brown or pink!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 13 - 05:22 PM

WHen in doubt, nullify! Go man, go. Never mind the Cascades; this book is about THE Cascade--the one that assaults all your channels of perception day in and day out. Like jazz, though, if you have to ask, you wouldn't dig it. :D

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 May 13 - 05:21 PM

I assume you'll be sending your very best friends free copies of the music so that they can listen to it all and then recommend it for purchase by the multitude of friends they have. Why, just as in my case, I have about a dozen friends that I could recommend it to for purchasing. Well, a half dozen iffin ya don't include SRS, Rap, LH, Kendall... hmmm... I'd better stop there.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 May 13 - 04:33 PM

I've been beyond the Cascades. Pacific Ocean on one side and land on the other.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 13 - 03:25 PM

Hey, Mom! Hey, MOM!!!!! Look what's coming!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 May 13 - 02:24 PM

MOM's arteries are going to be so stiff they'll crack if you don't give her some salmon or mackerel or oatmeal occasionally.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 May 13 - 01:55 PM

Here, Mom. Genuine Smithfield country-smoked peanut-fed ham and Wisconsin White Cheddar cheese sandwiches on home-made rye with lightly curried mayonnaise. Fresh blackberry pie after, and more of that coffee you like so much.

Then a nice nap in the hammock out in the yard with a big glass of iced tea by your side.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 May 13 - 11:11 AM

Poor Mom. No one else cares, only your Wandering Favorite. Here's some fresh loganberry crepes, homemade Illinois sausage, Jamaica Blue Mountain coffee (a whole pot and more brewing!), freshly-made sourdough biscuits, and homemade butter and fresh thick cream. You enjoy that and then go soak in the jetted tub -- you spent the night in the gutter outside of Louie's again.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 13 - 11:56 PM

Poor old Mom. Down in the depths, associating with doing social good and other unsavory threads.

Good thing I came along!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 May 13 - 11:18 AM

Okay, as long as you remember it correctly. You sure you don't have dibs on 48,001?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 13 - 09:55 AM

I already have dibs on MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMD.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 May 13 - 07:36 AM

None of the LHs have posted since May 3... d'ya suppose they are resting up fer a blitz on 48k?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 May 13 - 02:47 AM

Warming up are we?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 May 13 - 12:32 AM

Looks like some big numbers coming up soon. Rap, would you go back and read through the thread and see if anyone has dibs on them? Or Amos? Someone who is retired who has lots of time on their hands should be able to knock it off in a couple of weeks.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 13 - 11:12 PM

So, gnu bagged it. I wondered who would call down upon themself The Curse Of MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMCM. May your last days be as pain-free as is allowed, and may your skin not fall off all at once.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 May 13 - 03:46 PM

My sex life is like a Ferrari.

I drive a Ford.

The warranty is up.

Sensor failure lights are flassing.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 13 - 12:29 PM

Sorry, old bean, but we're taking my wife's car. Fool with THAT and face HER wrath. I'll stand by and watch.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 May 13 - 12:13 PM

Hahaha. I switched the keys to his Ferrari with the keys to Gnu's cage so they couldn't lock him in. Just wait til he tries to drive to the airport. Mwahahaha.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 13 - 10:06 AM

Saw that one.

So long, Mom! I'm turning off the computer now. Perhaps I'll pass this way again -- like tonight.

Oh, yeah, Mom -- the keys to Amos' and gnu's cages are in the usual place.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 13 May 13 - 11:39 PM

Try this for amazing news...

(No politics)...but watch it to the end!...

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 May 13 - 03:28 PM

HEY! I don't take yer yptos ta town and run a monkey wit em eh A!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 May 13 - 03:01 PM

I'll say those small bucks can be dealy. Young, full of testosterone, think they know everything. Ran across one in a used car lot oe time, dealiest sumbitch you ever saw. Anyone walked in, he just knew he could cut a deal with him, and ended blowing customers away faster than they showed up, being so much dealier than he had any business being, if you know what I mean...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 May 13 - 02:16 PM

Even a small buck can be dealy. Minds me a tha guy what shot a buck an was draggin it ta his weehicle an got a tine stuck in his leg just behind his knee. Dead man walkin. Musta been a hard way ta go even tho there's far worse.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 May 13 - 01:36 PM

Well, I'm flying away tomorrow and I won't be able to donate much because I'm in a bit of a rush. Probably won't be able to do much until the 16th, in fact. I think that's Thursday. But I also have to go see my cousin that day.

My cousin is the one who, with his friend Jeff, was out deer hunting some years back -- bow hunting, in fact. They'd been up in trees since around 4 a.m. and here it was getting on to 10 so they decided to come down and have some coffee. They got to the truck, put the bows and arrows aside, sat on the tailgate and had some coffee and a sandwich. Pretty soon my cousin says that he has to exercise peristalsis, so he wanders off with a roll of toilet paper, finds a nice log the right height, pulls down his trousers (they don't wear pants back there), and just as he begins a LARGE buck deer steps out of the woods.

Now my cousin is anointed with a product call "Doe In Heat" and this buck deer is obviously interested. Cousin drops the TP and starts to run back to the truck, pulling up his clothing on the way and yelling, "Jeff! Jeff! Shoot it! Shoot it!" Meanwhile Jeff is looking around for his ass, which fell off while he was laughing.

They both spent a couple hours clinging to tree branches while the frustrated buck stomped around below. The buck stomped their bows and even got into the truck and pretty much trashed it. Then it marked the truck as its personal territory and left in pursuit of a more amiable doe in heat.

My cousin doesn't like that story to be told, but Jeff will vouch for it as will everyone in my family and we all tell the absolute and exact truth.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 May 13 - 11:39 AM

I fear we are in grave danger - our standing as the MOAB is severely threatened by that Brozman thread. There is more BS flying fast and furious there than any other thread in recent memory.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 May 13 - 11:10 AM

Just don't pull a Who again next gig eh.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 May 13 - 09:47 AM

Sounds like you're going out on a limb to defend bare arms, there, Rapp.

Guess what, Mom!! I get to pick up my lovely all-fixed D-35 Martin today. What a joy!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 13 - 09:25 PM

It's different inside your own home, Amos. THERE you can do anything you want in Texas, as long as it's not agin the law...or custom...or usage...or what passes down there for morals...or The Code Of Texas.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 May 13 - 08:12 PM

See, A? THAT'S the problem with you Yanks. LawLESSness. Ye don't got no laws ta protect yer citizens. Up here, we just can't walk around barin arms. Mostly on accounta frostbite and sunburn except fer one week in spring and one week in fall and that there varies. And OUR laws strictly prohibit such ALL year long just in case. Safety first eh?