Folklore: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty

Subject: BS: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 04:18 PM

Used to hear these all the time as expressions of surprise--got one recently from a friend in England that made me smile: Poke my eye out and call me Nelson.

Any more?

Subject: RE: BS: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 04:22 PM

Well, bugger me sideways...

Subject: RE: BS: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: open mike
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 04:22 PM

this should go in the thread about sayings and expressions...

Subject: RE: BS: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 04:30 PM

My mate Adam, rest his soul, had a whole range of stuff. Presumably from Glasgow where he came from or from the air force where he did his national service.

In answer to "Have you got a (anything)?" the answer was inevitably...

No, but I've got a picture of Winston Churchill sitting on a white horse smoking a big cigar

OR

No, but I've got a picture of Napoleon with a crew cut

OR

No, but I've got a sister in the Turkish navy with a black tit

Never did figured any of them out. When he died some five years ago I guess the knowledge died with him but perhaps someone here can explain? :-)

Cheers

Dave the Gnome

Subject: RE: BS: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: Deckman
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 04:44 PM

I've always loved this one from West Virginia: " ... busier than a one armed trapper sackin' wildcats!" (thank you Ozzie Cales). Bob

Subject: RE: BS: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 04:48 PM

Two from an office colleague:

Throw me in a hole and call me Phil ...

Roll me in dry leaves and call me Russell ...

Subject: RE: BS: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 04:51 PM

Blackadder has a nice set of expressions along these lines.

Subject: RE: BS: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: jeffp
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 04:57 PM

Well, I'll be dipped (in dogshit)!

Subject: RE: BS: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 05:31 PM

Well, dadgum, I'll be hornswoggled! If this don't rock the ol' boat! If this ain't the best ol' thread since MOAB, you can call me Stumpy!

Subject: RE: BS: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: Greg F.
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 06:50 PM

An old timer I knew in northern New York, when annoyed, used the phrase
"Well, that's enough to piss off a skinny Indian!"
I have no idea what it meant, or even if HE did. He never explained.

Subject: RE: BS: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: Gareth
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 07:04 PM

Kevin - I've no desire to b88888r you sideways or at any other attitude.

For myself, and learnt from my father,

"It's all part of life's rich tapestry !

or South Welsh "NE-VER !"

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: Nenana
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 07:12 PM

"Ahhh...fer cryin' in the bucket"... I have no idea but my Grandma Kiggins use to say this, along with "Christ on a crutch". It sounds much better if you throw in a lilt while saying these.

Erin

Subject: RE: BS: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: wysiwyg
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 07:35 PM

Well, slap me and call me Zelda! (later version, Zsa Zsa)

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: GUEST,Himself
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 07:37 PM

My Mother -in-law was a great woman but also a great talker ......she'd talk to keep silence at bay.
            If she couldn't think of anything particular to say about something, for instance she'd just seen a TV show and had no comment on it, she'd comment on it anyway and say "Well,that was a Sam Scratch of a show !!"
          We never found out what it meant or where it came from,but honoured the expression by naming our sailing boat "Sam Scratch".
                   Regards Robin

Subject: RE: Folklore: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: Gene
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 08:54 PM

this website has a few...

http://www.beer-bytch.com/southsayins.html

Subject: RE: Folklore: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: michaelr
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 08:57 PM

Mr Garrison, the schoolteacher on "South Park", is fond of saying "Spank my ass and call me Charlie!"

He is busier than a one-legged man at an ass-kicking contest.

Cheers,
Michael

Subject: RE: Folklore: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 09:59 PM

When faced with misfortune, you can say,

Well, it's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

or

Well, it's better than playing with a knife and cutting yourself.

Once when my wife and I were stranded downtown in a strange city late at night, after the bars were closed, with no cabs to be had, and a prospect of waiting an hour or more for a bus--we amused ourselves to hilarity by thinking of things along those lines it was better than.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: JennyO
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 10:15 PM

Well love me tender and call me Elvis!

On the other theme -

Better than forty lashes with a wet noodle.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 24 Sep 03 - 05:43 PM

One more ... Put me in goal and call me Annette.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: Morticia
Date: 24 Sep 03 - 08:43 PM

To follow on from Dave the Gnome's mate Adam, the one that is in usage in my family is " No, but I've a sister in the WAAF excused weight lifting"......never could figure out what it meant.

One of my mothers favourites, if you say something like, 'do you follow?' or 'do you know what I mean?' is: " I do, but the grass is wet"

Is it any wonder I grew up as I did?

Subject: RE: Folklore: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: Gurney
Date: 24 Sep 03 - 08:58 PM

In my youth, that saying was "Cut me off at the knees and call me Tripod!' which took me a second or two to work out.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: JennieG
Date: 25 Sep 03 - 02:00 AM

My late father in law used to say "Well this won't buy the baby a new frock (or dress)" usually after he had been sitting down for a while and was going back to work in the garden or on the car.
In the mid 80's or thereabouts a wonderful book was published in Oz, "Lily on the dustbin" by Nancy Keesing. The book is about what Nancy called 'family-speak', meaning the expressions we grew up with that our mothers and grandmothers used. It's a wonderful read if you can get hold of a copy - it's probably been out of print for years.
Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: Folklore: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: GUEST,Jim Dixon
Date: 25 Sep 03 - 12:26 PM

A similar saying to the one above (this one does not come from my own family):

This ain't butterin' no parsnips.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: GUEST,Les B.
Date: 25 Sep 03 - 01:03 PM

Overheard "Well fuck me, and call me vaguely satisfied!"

Subject: RE: Folklore: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: Megan L
Date: 25 Sep 03 - 02:10 PM

Whenever my dad was bragging about what a good husband he was mum would say "aye an i've never bought a lucky bag since."

Subject: RE: Folklore: Cut my legs off and call me Shorty
From: Trevor
Date: 26 Sep 03 - 04:15 AM

Well it's better than a slap in the face with a wet haddock.
Well I'll go to the foot of my sock.