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Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs

DigiTrad:
RIGHT SAID FRED (CUP OF TEA)


Related threads:
Chords Req: Right, Said Fred (Bernard Cribbins) (23)
Chord Req: Hole in the Ground (Bernard Cribbins) (11)
Origins: Right Said Fred-what are they moving? (53)
Right said Fred. how to buy (10)
CD with Right Said Fred, Let's 'Ave... (5)


In Mudcat MIDIs:
Right Said Fred


Murray on Saltspring 24 Sep 98 - 02:53 AM
Joe Offer 24 Sep 98 - 04:02 AM
Simon in New Zealand 28 Sep 98 - 04:29 AM
Martin Ryan 29 Sep 98 - 03:54 AM
Joe Offer 29 Sep 98 - 04:13 AM
Martin Ryan 29 Sep 98 - 11:57 AM
The Shambles 29 Sep 98 - 01:59 PM
Murray 01 Oct 98 - 02:43 AM
Celtic-End Singer 06 Oct 98 - 11:37 AM
The Shambles 06 Oct 98 - 01:30 PM
Joe Offer 31 Aug 00 - 07:00 PM
Bill D 31 Aug 00 - 07:13 PM
Liz the Squeak 31 Aug 00 - 07:16 PM
Bill D 31 Aug 00 - 07:17 PM
Joe Offer 31 Aug 00 - 07:17 PM
Bill D 31 Aug 00 - 08:03 PM
John in Brisbane 31 Aug 00 - 08:25 PM
CamiSu 31 Aug 00 - 10:23 PM
GUEST,Alex 01 Sep 00 - 01:46 AM
Joan from Wigan 01 Sep 00 - 03:43 AM
Naemanson 01 Sep 00 - 04:58 AM
John in Brisbane 01 Sep 00 - 08:49 AM
Snuffy 01 Sep 00 - 09:13 AM
Snuffy 01 Sep 00 - 04:28 PM
GUEST,The Invisible Blazoona 02 Sep 00 - 04:10 PM
Joe Offer 02 Sep 00 - 05:34 PM
Callie 02 Sep 00 - 07:09 PM
Alan of Australia 10 Sep 00 - 09:15 AM
Sorcha 28 Jul 03 - 12:28 PM
Sorcha 28 Jul 03 - 12:29 PM
Sorcha 28 Jul 03 - 12:30 PM
Joe Offer 28 Jul 03 - 01:21 PM
Murray MacLeod 28 Jul 03 - 01:22 PM
Sorcha 28 Jul 03 - 01:23 PM
Sorcha 28 Jul 03 - 01:26 PM
Snuffy 28 Jul 03 - 07:37 PM
kendall 28 Jul 03 - 08:31 PM
GUEST,mike leatt 28 Jul 03 - 08:46 PM
GUEST,Anne Croucher 28 Jul 03 - 09:02 PM
Sorcha 28 Jul 03 - 09:14 PM
GUEST,Wyrd Sister 29 Jul 03 - 03:45 PM
Ralphie 30 Jul 03 - 04:16 AM
Nigel Parsons 30 Jul 03 - 04:47 AM
Nigel Parsons 30 Jul 03 - 04:54 AM
GUEST,leeneia 31 Jul 03 - 09:46 AM
Kevin Sheils 31 Jul 03 - 09:59 AM
GUEST,Fred 31 Jul 03 - 10:06 AM
Joe Offer 31 Jul 03 - 10:51 AM
Kevin Sheils 31 Jul 03 - 10:58 AM
Steve Parkes 31 Jul 03 - 12:00 PM
Raedwulf 31 Jul 03 - 02:52 PM
GUEST,Suzie 02 Aug 03 - 06:56 PM
Barbara 02 Aug 03 - 08:25 PM
Jon Bartlett 02 Aug 03 - 08:56 PM
Nigel Parsons 03 Aug 03 - 02:48 PM
GUEST 03 Aug 03 - 03:24 PM
GUEST,Wyrd Sister 03 Aug 03 - 04:49 PM
GUEST,Suzie 04 Aug 03 - 12:30 PM
GUEST,NT 06 Sep 03 - 08:07 PM
The Fooles Troupe 07 Sep 03 - 02:25 AM
Kevin Sheils 07 Sep 03 - 05:02 AM
C-flat 07 Sep 03 - 07:56 AM
The Fooles Troupe 07 Sep 03 - 09:35 AM
GUEST,squarehouse@tiscali.fr 22 Nov 03 - 05:48 PM
Compton 22 Nov 03 - 07:58 PM
wilbyhillbilly 23 Nov 03 - 01:58 AM
Nigel Parsons 23 Nov 03 - 02:58 PM
Nigel Parsons 23 Nov 03 - 03:18 PM
Margret RoadKnight 23 Nov 03 - 05:14 PM
Compton 23 Nov 03 - 08:29 PM
GUEST,Michael 27 Nov 03 - 09:21 AM
GUEST,Big and Kinda Round 01 Dec 03 - 11:07 PM
GUEST,Hel 03 Jan 04 - 02:37 PM
The Fooles Troupe 03 Jan 04 - 07:13 PM
GUEST,Gary 04 Oct 04 - 09:43 AM
Greyeyes 06 Oct 04 - 07:14 AM
Compton 06 Oct 04 - 07:28 PM
GUEST,Guest 16 Oct 04 - 03:33 PM
Gray D 16 Oct 04 - 08:22 PM
GUEST,garyrudd@hotmail.com 26 Nov 04 - 09:46 AM
GUEST 11 Feb 05 - 09:57 AM
Don(Wyziwyg)T 11 Feb 05 - 02:43 PM
EagleWing 12 Feb 05 - 06:10 AM
GUEST,Soundcatcher 12 Feb 05 - 07:25 AM
GUEST,Soundcatcher 12 Feb 05 - 07:27 AM
GUEST,Johnno 31 Dec 05 - 05:08 PM
GUEST,John Olivares 10 Jan 06 - 11:03 PM
GUEST 14 Jul 06 - 04:19 PM
GUEST,Mark P 19 Feb 08 - 06:22 AM
GUEST,Oldradio 21 May 08 - 09:18 AM
Murray MacLeod 23 Jul 08 - 01:14 PM
GUEST 03 Sep 08 - 10:43 AM
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Subject: Right, said Fred
From: Murray on Saltspring
Date: 24 Sep 98 - 02:53 AM

An English friend is looking for a song with the burden "Right, said Fred, ... let's have another cup of tea." It seems to be English, maybe from the Fifties. Any ideas??


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Subject: Lyr Add: RIGHT, SAID FRED (M Rudge, T Dicks)^^
From: Joe Offer
Date: 24 Sep 98 - 04:02 AM

RIGHT, SAID FRED (Cup of Tea)
©1962, by Myles Rudge (lyrics) & Ted Dicks (music)

"Right," said Fred, "Both of us together
One on each end and steady as we go."
Tried to shift it, couldn't even lift it
We was getting nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea and
"Right," said Fred, "Give a shout for Charlie."
Up comes Charlie from the floor below.
After strainin', heavin' and complainin'
We was getting nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea.
And Charlie had a think, and he thought we ought to take off all the handles
And the things wot held the candles.
But it did no good, well I never thought it would
"All right," said Fred, "Have to take the feet off
To get them feet off wouldn't take a mo."
Took its feet off, even took the seat off
Should have got us somewhere but no!
So Fred said, "Let's have a cuppa tea."
And we said, "right-o."

"Right," said Fred, "Have to take the door off
Need more space to shift the so-and-so."
Had bad twinges taking off the hinges
And it got us nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea and
"Right," said Fred, " Have to take the wall down,
That there wall is gonna have to go."
Took the wall down, even with it all down
We was getting nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea.
And Charlie had a think, and he said, "Look, Fred,
I get a sort of feelin'
If we remove the ceilin'
With a rope or two we could drop the blighter through."
"All right," said Fred, climbing up a ladder
With his crowbar gave a mighty blow.
Was he in trouble, half a ton of rubble landed on the top of his dome.
So Charlie and me had another cuppa tea
And then we went home.

(I said to Charlie, "We'll just have to leave it
Standing on the landing, that's all
Trouble with Fred is, he's too hasty
Never get nowhere if you're too hasty.")


Recorded by Gordon Bok & Cindy Kallet and by Cindy Mangsen and Steve Gillette early recording by Bernard Cribbins

Anybody know more of a story behind this song?
-Joe Offer- ^^

Click to play


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: Simon in New Zealand
Date: 28 Sep 98 - 04:29 AM

I remember this song when I was a child, the TV 'video?' clip showed two men moving a piano and 'getting nowhere'. That was along time ago. Same vintage as the 'Hole in the Ground' and 'Winkle Picker Shoes".


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: Martin Ryan
Date: 29 Sep 98 - 03:54 AM

The corner of my mind that remembers those days has been struggling to recall who recorded the three songs mentioned: Bernard Cribbins!

Regards


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: Joe Offer
Date: 29 Sep 98 - 04:13 AM

Anybody got lyrics for 'Hole in the Ground' and 'Winkle Picker Shoes'?
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: Martin Ryan
Date: 29 Sep 98 - 11:57 AM

Just a start:

There I was, a-digging this 'ole, 'ole in the ground
So big and sort of round it was......

Chorus

Don't dig it there! Dig it elsewhere!
You're digging it round and it ought to be square
The shape's all wrong, its much too long
And you can't put a hole where a hole don't belong!

And the end:

....
It's not there now, the grounds all flat
And beneath it is the fella in the bowler hat!

Regards


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: The Shambles
Date: 29 Sep 98 - 01:59 PM

Interesting fact (or not) about The Bernard Cribbins songs, they were produced in the early sixties by The Beatles producer George Martin.


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: Murray
Date: 01 Oct 98 - 02:43 AM

Thanks, Joe--my friend is delighted. Now what about these other songs from Cribbins and Co.?


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: Celtic-End Singer
Date: 06 Oct 98 - 11:37 AM

I think the current resurgence in popularity of this lovely little song may be due to the influence of Talk Radio UK DJ Nick Abbott, who has a habbit of playing samples from the recorded version on his radio show almost every night, which you can hear anywhere in the UK (and beyond)every weekday between 7pm and 9pm 1053AM and 1089AM. Thanks for raising the subject I've been trying to find lyrics for this for ages.


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: The Shambles
Date: 06 Oct 98 - 01:30 PM

If you are interested about that same time George Martin produced L.P for Peter Sellars called The Best Of Sellars. It is really worth checking out if you can. There is one track that stands out in my mind. It is about a Folk Music collector trying to record the 'real thing'. The best one is the Irish Session, where it all goes a bit wrong.


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: Joe Offer
Date: 31 Aug 00 - 07:00 PM

Anybody got a tune?


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: Bill D
Date: 31 Aug 00 - 07:13 PM

it's just 'barely' a tune, Joe...more like a melodic chant..*grin*...maybe a bit more tune than talking blues..(do you have HearMe?..I could 'sing' it for you.


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 31 Aug 00 - 07:16 PM

Ah sure, that was a bum note you played there Seamus.... that's all I remember about the Irish Session one.... it errupts into a fist fight.

LTS


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: Bill D
Date: 31 Aug 00 - 07:17 PM

ohhh.wait...you want the tune to 'Fred' or the "Irish Session"..or something else?


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Subject: ADD: Right Said Fred ^^
From: Joe Offer
Date: 31 Aug 00 - 07:17 PM

Bill, I've got a recording from Hills/Herdman/Mangsen, but truly would like to hear your rendition some day.
I'm looking for a tune for inclusion in the database.
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: Bill D
Date: 31 Aug 00 - 08:03 PM

The 'tune'I use is from a tape of David Jones at the Mariposa festival maybe 20-25 years ago....


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: John in Brisbane
Date: 31 Aug 00 - 08:25 PM

Joe, I have the tune for Fred firmly planted in my head. I'll try and set up my MIDI keyboard at the weekend, but I must admit that my keyboard timing is not my forte. Still. I need the practice. Regards, John


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: CamiSu
Date: 31 Aug 00 - 10:23 PM

Cuppa Tea is also on the February Tapes, which Gordon Bok an friends did several years ago. You can get them from Gordon, or Anne Dodson, but I don't think they're for sale in most stores.


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: GUEST,Alex
Date: 01 Sep 00 - 01:46 AM

Hey, John, I'd just like to say for the record that I got your 'orrible pun about your keyboard not being your forte!


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: Joan from Wigan
Date: 01 Sep 00 - 03:43 AM

The Guinness Book Of Hits Of The Sixties lists three of Bernard Cribbins' songs as having charted: Hole in the Ground, Right Said Fred, and Gossip Calypso. Shamefully, I can't recall Gossip Calypso. Anyone?

Joan


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: Naemanson
Date: 01 Sep 00 - 04:58 AM

I've got Cuppa Tea on a David Jones cassette, Songs of Exquisite Taste. It's listed as "Right!" Said Fred. I've heard him do it in person where he only introduces it as particularly moving song by Bernard Cribbins.


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: John in Brisbane
Date: 01 Sep 00 - 08:49 AM

Well done Alex, I'm so pleased I made somebody groan. POETS, John.


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: Snuffy
Date: 01 Sep 00 - 09:13 AM

I'll have a go at a MIDITEXT of RSF tonight.

As for Gossip Calypso, the chorus went:

Gossip Calypso, Gossip Calypso,
Hear all about it, yakka-yak-yak.
Every woman up at the window
Giving out the gossip and getting it back

And one of the verses went something like:

Well, have you heard, dear,
A little bird, dear,
Told me Mrs Smith's(?) expecting her seventh?
Well, dearie me
That's three
She's had since Willie(?) had his kneecaps scraped.

Wassail! V


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Subject: Tune Add: RIGHT, SAID FRED
From: Snuffy
Date: 01 Sep 00 - 04:28 PM


Click to play

To play or display ABC tunes, try concertina.net

ABC format:

X:1
T:RIGHT, SAID FRED
M:2/4
L:1/8
Q:1/4=160
K:D
d2A2|B4|d>cd>A|B2d2|d2A2|B2F2|F>AF>D|E4|
F2A2|E2D2|F>AF>A|E2D2|F2A2|B2d2|f2f2-|f2e2|
d4|e4|A>BA>G|F2E2||
d2A2|B4|d>cd>A|B2d2|d2A2|B2F2|F>AF>D|E4|
F2A2|E2D2|F>AF>A|E2D2|F2A2|B2d2|f2f2-|f2e2|
d4|e4|A>BA>G|F2E2||
A>AA>A|G2G>G|F2F2|D3D|A2A2|G3A|F2D2-|D2F>F|
A2A2|G3A|F2D2-|D2F>G|A2A2|A2AA|D>DD>D|D2A2||
d2A2|B4|d>cd>A|B2d2|d2A2|B2F2|F>AF>D|E4|
F2A2|E2D2|F>AF>A|E2D2|F2A2|B2d2|f2f2-|f2e2|
f4-|f4|z4|z2f2|g2f2|e2d>e|f>fe>e|d2e2|
A2A2-|A2e2|d4-|d4||

Wassail! V


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: GUEST,The Invisible Blazoona
Date: 02 Sep 00 - 04:10 PM

The pride of the "obscure" section of my record collection is a version of "Right Said Fred" sung by Jessica Mitford and Maya Angelou on the aptly named "Don't Quit Your Day Job" record label.


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: Joe Offer
Date: 02 Sep 00 - 05:34 PM

Blazoona, I'd say you wint the "Obscurity Award" for the day. I'd love to hear that recording, though. I have two recordings of the song, and I can't decide which I like better. Gordon Bok and Cindy Kallet do a great job on their Neighbors album, but Steve Gillette and Cindy Mangsen also do it nicely on their Light of Day album. Sure is a great song. Wish I could remember all the words and get the tune straight, so I could sing it myself.
Thanks for posting the tune, Snyffy. I e-mailed it to Alan of Australia, and it should appear soon at Mudcat MIDIs.
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: Callie
Date: 02 Sep 00 - 07:09 PM

"Right Said Fred" was included in the Australian Broadcasting Commission's list of songs taught to kids in schools in 1977 or thereabouts. Consequently, most 32 year olds in Australia know the song!


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Subject: RE: Right, said Fred
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 10 Sep 00 - 09:15 AM

G'day,
Thanks to Snuffy and Joe, the tune for "Right Said Fred" can be found here at the Mudcat MIDI site.

Cheers,
Alan


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Subject: Lyr Add: GOSSIP CALYPSO (from Bernard Cribbins)
From: Sorcha
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 12:28 PM

GOSSIP CALYPSO
Bernard Cribbins


Gossip calypso Gossip calypso
Hear all about it yak a yak yak
Every woman up at the window
Giving out the gossip and getting it back

Oh Mrs Brown, well how are you now, I tell you,
I've had a shocking time with Ern and his stomach
Don't talk to me, my Charlie has gone and fallen down the stairs again, saints preserve us
Poor old chap, did he hurt himself well, not as much as
Alf that's my cousin Freds boy I learnt from Fred,
the doctor said, he'll have to have his kneecaps straight, gor blimey singing



Gossip calypso Gossip calypso
Hear all about it yak a yak yak
Every woman up at the window
Giving out the gossip and getting it back

Mrs Booze, have you heard the news that woman,
you know the very fat one down at the corner
Climbed in a truck, got stuck, they think that they never gonna get her out, do tell me
Well I had a feller round and gave him a pound, to free her with an oxyacetaline welder
Must send along some books, it looks like she's gonna be there quite some time, cor blimey singing

Gossip calypso Gossip calypso
Hear all about it yak a yak yak
Every woman up at the window
Giving out the gossip and getting it back

Oh Mrs Ware I do like your hair who does it,
I go to Madame Pom Pom round by the gas works
With all that fruit, it looks so cute, I can't believe it it's really you, like a film star
Have you heard dear, a little bird has told me Mrs Tate's expecting her seventh
Well glory be, that's three, she's had since Lenny had his tonsils out, cor blimey singing

Gossip calypso Gossip calypso
Hear all about it yak a yak yak
Every woman up at the window
Giving out the gossip and getting it back

No sound file found. Lyrics from:
http://www.rexbrough.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/gossip.html


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Subject: Lyr Add: RIGHT SAID FRED (from Bernard Cribbins)
From: Sorcha
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 12:29 PM

RIGHT SAID FRED
Bernard Cribbins

Right said Fred, both of us together, one each end and steady as we go.
Tried to shift it, couldn't even lift it, we was getting nowhere,
And so, we, had a cup of tea and

Right said Fred, give a shout to Charlie, up comes Charlie from the floor below.
After straining, heaving and complaining, we was getting nowhere,
And so, we, had a cup of tea and

Charlie had a think and he thought we ought, to take off all the handles
And the things what held the candles, but it did no good, well I never thought it would.

Oh, right said Fred, have to take the feet off; to get them feet off wouldn't take a mo.
Took its feet off, even took the seat off, should've got us somewhere, but no.
So Fred said lets have another cup of tea and we said right-o.

Oh, right said Fred, have to take the door off, need more space to shift the so-and-so.
Had bad twinges taking off the hinges, and it got us nowhere,
And so, we, had a cup of tea and

Right said Fred, have to take the wall down, that there wall is gonna have to go.
Took the wall down, even with it all down, we was getting nowhere,
And so, we, had a cup of tea and

Charlie had a think and he said look Fred, I've got a sort of feeling.
If we remove the ceiling, with a rope or two we could drop the blighter though.

Oh, right said Fred, climbing up a ladder, with his crowbar gave a mighty blow.
Was he in trouble, half a ton of rubble, landed on the top of his dome,
So Charlie and me had another cup of tea and then we went home.

[SPOKEN:] I said to Charlie we'll just have to leave it standing on the landing that's all.
You see the trouble with Fred is he's too hasty.
Now you never get nowhere if you're too hasty.


RA file here: http://www.rexbrough.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/rsfr.html
Songwriter Information: by Ted Dicks (music) and Myles Rudge (lyrics)
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: Lyr Add: HOLE IN THE GROUND (from Bernard Cribbins
From: Sorcha
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 12:30 PM

HOLE IN THE GROUND
Bernard Cribbins

There I was, a-digging this hole
A hole in the ground, so big and sort of round it was
There was I, digging it deep
It was flat at at the bottom and the sides were steep
When along, comes this bloke in a bowler which he lifted and scratched his head
Well we looked down the hole, poor demented soul and he said

Do you mind if I make a suggestion?

Don't dig there, dig it elsewhere
Your digging it round and it ought to be square
The shape of it's wrong, it's much much too long
And you can't put hole wher a hole don't belong

I ask, what a liberty eh
Nearly bashed him right in the bowler

Well there was I, stood in me hole
Shovelling earth for all I was worth
There was him, standing up there
So grand and official with his nose in the air
So I gave him a look sort of sideways and I leaned on my shvel and sighed

Well I lit me a fag and having took a drag I replied

I just couldnít bear, to dig it elsewhere
I'm digging it round co's I donít want it square
And if you disagree it don't bother me
Thatís the place where the holes gonna be

Well there we were, disscussing this hole
A hole in the groud so big and sort of round
Well it's not there now, the groundrs all flat
And beneath it is the bloke in the bowler hat

And that's that

RA file here: http://www.rexbrough.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/hitg.html
Songwriter Information: by Ted Dicks (music) and Myles Rudge (lyrics)
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Joe Offer
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 01:21 PM

Was Cribbins the songwriter on these three, or did he just record them? Now, can we find "Winkle Picker Shoes"
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 01:22 PM

Well done Sorcha.

For the record, the name of the artist who recorded these masterpieces has been misspelled Godknowshowmanytimes on this thread.
Hs name is BERNARD CRIBBINS.

Devotees of Fawlty Towers (of whom there are many in the States as well as here) may oe may not be aware of the fact that Bernard Cribbins appeared in one of the funniest episodes of all, the one about the Hotel Inspectors.

He played the part of the cutlery salesman who Basil mistakenly assumes to be a hotel inspector. I recollect the classic dialogue ...

"Are the peas fresh ?

Yes of course they are.

They're not frozen ?

Well, yes they're frozen, but they were fresh before they were frozen."

Murray

Thanks for the spelling info. I have made the corrections. Whew! --JoeClone, 15-Aug-03.


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Sorcha
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 01:23 PM

Home site for the lyrics says "Hole In the Ground/Wrinkle Picker Shoes". Don't know if that means they are the same song.


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Sorcha
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 01:26 PM

And, Joe, it appears that Cribbins was a recording artist, not the songwriter.


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Snuffy
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 07:37 PM

"Hole In the Ground/Winkle Picker Shoes" would be the A & B sides of a 45 single.


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: kendall
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 08:31 PM

So, who has the words to :Why Paddy's Not at work today"?

By the way, what the hell were they trying to move? Was ir an organ?


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: GUEST,mike leatt
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 08:46 PM

Bernard Cribbins is an actor who has appeared in Carry On films etc. His records are of a novalty variety such as Lee Marvin etc. who, probably, should not be let loose near a michrophone !!!


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: GUEST,Anne Croucher
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 09:02 PM

It was never specified as to what exactly it was they were moving - but I always envisaged a pianola style instrument - doors to the place for storing the rolls, candlesticks, bench seat etc.

The fresh/frozen thing is going to run and run - we get 'fresh frozen' printed on packs of sweetcorn now and that is just not possible - either it is fresh, or frozen you just don't get both - not in English.

Anne Croucher


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Sorcha
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 09:14 PM

Thanks, Snuffy.


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: GUEST,Wyrd Sister
Date: 29 Jul 03 - 03:45 PM

OK, so how about words to 'It was on a (Monday etc) morning-O, the (weather facts here: rain it was a-raining/day was not a hot one). Saga about a double bed. Ends up 'did she answer, not a word, for she'd been struck by lightning. And all at once the weather started brightening....'


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Ralphie
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 04:16 AM

And Wyrd, while we are on the subject of lost Cribbins....

"Verily, thou art two faced, and protesting, thou art chaste,
is verily, very verily, hardly the best of taste.
thou wert doing, the pursuing, verily...!"

And don't mention The Bird on the Second Floor !

Ralphie


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 04:47 AM

Wyrd Sister: All The While or "She'd been struck by lightning is in the DT

Nigel


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 04:54 AM

Guest Anne Croucher: I believe a piano was intended, as even then a pianola (with doors concealing the works and spare rolls) was not a commonplace.
The 'Door' referred is not part of the piano:
"Have to take the door off, - Need more space to shift the so and so" would sem to suggest removing an internal house door to create more space .

Nigel
Messages from multiple threads combined. Messages below are from a new thread.
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred - final detail
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 09:46 AM

It's been a battle, but I have managed to fit all the words to Right Said Fred to the MIDI supplied by Joe Offer. But the following words don't seem to fit.

"I said to Char-lie, "We'll just have to leave it Standing on the landing, that's all. Trouble with Fred is, he's too hasty Never get nowhere if you're too hasty."


Are they a spoken tag that came after the rest of the song?
-----------
Someone made the comment that the song didn't have much of a tune, and I agreed at the time I read it. However, after working with the MIDI, I conclude that Certain People have been performing the song without knowing the tune.
-------------
Thanks to the people who made this song possible. I visualize singing it with my husband at the next family gathering. It will amaze and delight the gang.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred - final detail
From: Kevin Sheils
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 09:59 AM

From memory (long time ago) the original recording did fade out on a spoken section so you may be right.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred - final detail
From: GUEST,Fred
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 10:06 AM

Yes - the last bit is a spoken tag

it's still on the landing - there is now a visitor's centre & a museum in the building dedicated to me


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Joe Offer
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 10:51 AM

You can blame Snuffy for the tune, leeneia. Bill D will attest to the fact that I am one of those Certain People that tend to take liberties with tunes (or ignore them completely). I wonder about songwriters Miles Rudge and Ted Dicks - and Bernard Cribbins, for that matter. Are they Americans, English, or what? I imagine "Fred" as a New England song, probably becasue I've only heard New Englanders sing it.

It musta been Fred or somebody started a second new thread on the "Fred" song, and I couldn't see a reason to split the discussion. So, I had a cuppa joe, and then I combined the three threads.

-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Kevin Sheils
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 10:58 AM

Bernard is definitely English, Joe, so I guess the songwriters are as well. As referred to above he was a regular in the "Carry On" films as well as an appearance in Fawlty Towers.


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 12:00 PM

Not to mention the policeman in the first-ever BBC Comedy Playhouse, Barbara's dozy boyfriend Ian[?] (also a PC) in that awful film Dr Who and the Daleks, all the voices for The Wombles (original BBC version), Perks in The Railway Children ... and so many charcter parts in almost everything else.

Steve


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Raedwulf
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 02:52 PM

A brief bio of Mr Cribbins including a list of his films, on this Carry On site. Can't find anything about "Winklepicker Shoes" except for references to this discussion or the single!


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: GUEST,Suzie
Date: 02 Aug 03 - 06:56 PM

can't believe I found this! I have been singing Bernard Cribbins for 2 days cos my 14 year old asked if I knew what winkle pickers were. I have all the singles in the loft and downloaded all except winkle pickers from Kazzaa.

I've got those
Wish I'd never bought those
Bloomin' winkle picker
Shoes
Blues

Would love to hear it again. Kids think I've gone barmy!!


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Barbara
Date: 02 Aug 03 - 08:25 PM

Joe, I think this kind of humor is specific to our friends across the pond, a la Flanders and Swann; Monty Python, etc. If nothing else is a give away, why would workmen, movers even, be taking a break and drinking a cuppa tea if they weren't Brits?
I been singing this since I learned it from the February tapes, and his/my tune is close to the posted one tho not exact, and I find it a real trick to keep the verses straight. (Don't try this after a couple pints).
I thought they were probably moving a pump organ or a wardrobe, but part of the song's charm is that the object is never specified, no?
Blessings,
Barbara


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Jon Bartlett
Date: 02 Aug 03 - 08:56 PM

John and Alex, I'm afraid Oscar Wilde got there first. Importance of Being Earnest, Act 1 Scene 1: "Algernon: As far as the piano is concerned, sentiment is my forte."

Good though!


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 03 Aug 03 - 02:48 PM

Jon: surely even Wilde was not being original, the pianoforte (to use its full name) is so called because it can be played either piano, or forte

Nigel


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Aug 03 - 03:24 PM

re the quote about "you played a bum note there paddy" and the riot that ensues you will find that that song was Peter sellars and is about a session in a pub.


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: GUEST,Wyrd Sister
Date: 03 Aug 03 - 04:49 PM

Nigel, belated thanks for link to words.


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Subject: RE: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: GUEST,Suzie
Date: 04 Aug 03 - 12:30 PM

I have been able to download all his songs from Kazzaalite if anyone is interested


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins so
From: GUEST,NT
Date: 06 Sep 03 - 08:07 PM

Nigel - the point of the joke is that it is called the pianoforte. That is why the joke works. It is probably because it is British humour.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 07 Sep 03 - 02:25 AM

I remember the TV "filler" which had static drawings. It showed a beautiful piano (could have been pianola - they were heavier!) complete with beautiful brass swivelling candlestick holders...

Quick point re Brit Comedy films

Anybody remember "The Plank"? Brilliant short (about 20 mins) that had almost every British Comedian of the period in a cameo - was released on a tape by the BBC with another brilliant simliar sort of short whose name I can't remember. "The Plank" was in much of the same British spirit of "Right said Fred" + farce out of control...


"you played a bum note there paddy" Still can't keep a straight face when I even think of this song. On that album was the famous "travelogue"

QUOTE
From the hill we can see the lights of the town ever changing...

Red, Red and Amber, Green, Amber, and back to Red again...
UNQUOTE

Robin


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins so
From: Kevin Sheils
Date: 07 Sep 03 - 05:02 AM

Anybody remember "The Plank"? Brilliant short (about 20 mins) that had almost every British Comedian of the period in a cameo - was released on a tape by the BBC with another brilliant simliar sort of short whose name I can't remember.

Ah good old Eric Sykes. It's on a tape with "It's your move" about moving house. There's also a tape containing Eric Sykes' and others "Rhubarb, Rhubarb" and "Mr H is late" but they've probably been deleted......


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: C-flat
Date: 07 Sep 03 - 07:56 AM

Bernard Cribbins songs here.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 07 Sep 03 - 09:35 AM

Ah Sykes... one of teh real greats with timing and subtlety!

Loved him and Hattie Jaques in that TV series about them living together - brother and sister!

He was the brains behind teaching Milligan how to put some sort of structure on the Goons.. (a couple of years of the scripts are co-authored by him)

The ABC (Oz) used to play the Goons Every Sat at 12 noon for about 20 years, now they have moved it to 3:30pm Sat, and a few other times like 5:30am Friday morning... aaaghhh!

Always LOVED the musicians they had. Max Geldray (I believe cover name for the US guy who was McCarthy blacklisted?) and others whise names I can't remember. But I will never forget the week of the BBC musicians strike... the Goons went on, and did all the musical interludes themselves - without instruments!

I think that was the birth of Jim Spriggs ...

I'm walking backwards for Christmas,
Across the Irish Sea!
I've tried walking sideways,
and walking to the front.
But they all just look at me
and say he's just a silly ....

And Harry "Sir Cumference" Secombe (suffered from "Duck's Disease") would burst into song, followed by Sellars "You'll starve!"

Robin


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: GUEST,squarehouse@tiscali.fr
Date: 22 Nov 03 - 05:48 PM

anybody know where to find music for Dicks/Rudge All The While ....on the monday morning-o   etc etc

thanks patrick


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Compton
Date: 22 Nov 03 - 07:58 PM

Don't know it all..but to start you off..
"Twas on a monday mornin' o, the weather it was raining,
My love she come to me and said, I have bought a double bed
and mother is complaining..
all all the while the rain it was a-raining...
(OR WORDS TO THAT EFFECT!)
It came from a revue around 1960 with a pretty awful B side with Lionel Blair's better looking sister, Joyce.


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Subject: Lyr Add: WHY PADDY'S NOT AT WORK TODAY^^^
From: wilbyhillbilly
Date: 23 Nov 03 - 01:58 AM

Here you go Kendall!


Why Paddy's Not At Work (Excuse Note)

(Pat Cooksey)

Dear Sir I write this note to inform you of my plight
And at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly gray
I write this note to tell why Paddy's not at work today

While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear
And to throw them down from off the top seemed quite a good idea
But the gaffer wasn't very pleased, he was an awful sod
He said I had to cart them down the ladder in me hod.

Well clearing all those bricks by hand, it seemed so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below
But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks is heavier than me.

So when I had untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
I took off like a rocket and to my dismay I found
That half way up I met the bloody barrel coming down.

Well the barrel broke my shoulder as on to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me head
I held on tight, though numb with shock from this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half its load fourteen floors below

Now when those building bricks fell from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel so I started down once more
I held on tightly to the rope as I flew to the ground
And I landed on those building bricks that were scattered all
    around.

Now as I lay there on the deck I thought I'd passed the worst
But when the barrel reached the top, that's when the bottom burst
A shower of bricks came down on me, I knew I had no hope
In all of this confusion, I let go the bloody rope.

The barrel being heavier, it started down once more
And landed right on top of me as I lay on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I can only say
That I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 23 Nov 03 - 02:58 PM

Compton: All The While it is in the DT

Nigel


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 23 Nov 03 - 03:18 PM

Compton, sorry, I posted without reading. The lyrics are there but no tune.


Mea Culpa, Mea culpa, Mea culpa...

Nigel


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Margret RoadKnight
Date: 23 Nov 03 - 05:14 PM

Anyone have the CHORDS for "Right, Said Fred"?
Many thanks in anticipation


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Compton
Date: 23 Nov 03 - 08:29 PM

Nigel...god knows who posted the lyric as "All the While"..It really was "Folk Song"...Parlophone Record Lable if I remember right. It hasn't been mentioned above but dear old Bernard was recently dallying with Tracey Barlow in Coronation Street..but appeared to have been firing blanks as he isn't the father of her child. Foreign Mudcatters will have to wait a while for that exciting news!!


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Subject: RE: Digging a hole / Bernard Cribbins song
From: GUEST,Michael
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 09:21 AM

There I was, diggin' a hole,
Hole in the ground,
So big and sort of round it was,
And there was I, diggin' it deep,
It was flat at the bottom and the sides were steep.

Then along comes this bloke in a bowler
Which he lifted and scratched his head.
Oh, he looked in the hole, poor demented soul,
And said...

(Do you mind if I make a suggestion?)

Don't dig it there, dig it elsewhere,
You're digging it round and it ought to be square,
The shape of it's wrong, it's much too long,
And you can't have a hole where a hole don't belong.

(What a liberty, eh? Nearly bashed him right in the bowler.)

Well there was I, stood in me hole,
Shovelling earth for all I was worth I was
And there was him, standing up there,
So grand and official with his nose in the air!

So I gave him a look sort of sideways,
And I leaned on my shovel and sighed.
Oh I lit me a fag, and havin' took a drag I replied:

I just couldn't bear to dig it elsewhere,
I'm digging it round 'cause I don't want it square,
And if you disagree it doesn't bother me -
That's the place where the hole's gonna be!

Well there we were, discussing this hole,
Hole in the ground, so big and sort of round it was.
It's not there now, the ground's all flat -
And beneath it is the bloke in the bowler hat.

And that's that.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: GUEST,Big and Kinda Round
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 11:07 PM

http://www.rexbrough.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/real/hole.ra

and

http://www.rexbrough.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/real/fred.ra



for all ya'll that can't search for em yerselves!

Nooooothing like replying to a thread that is 5 years old!

Toodles!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: GUEST,Hel
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 02:37 PM

Anyone remember the animation that was done as the "viceo" for Right, Said Fred? It was the removal men, looked like eggs to me. I loved it as a kid and am desperately trying to find it.

Does anyone else remember it? or have any clue on how I might find it?

Cheers m'dears

Hel xx


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 07:13 PM

I remember it - it was played by the ABC here in Oz.

Robin


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: GUEST,Gary
Date: 04 Oct 04 - 09:43 AM

As chance would have it, I have the Right Said Fred 'video' from 1962 on video, plus most of Gossip Calipso on tape/
contact me on gbillingham@ozemail.com.au if you'd like a copy


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Greyeyes
Date: 06 Oct 04 - 07:14 AM

For info, Cribbins released a "Very Best Of" CD this May, details:

5786582 (cat)
0724357865821 (b/c)
released 17 May 2004 on EMI Gold
distributed by EMI

I saw him playing Nathan Detroit in the National Theatre's multi-award winning revival of "Guys & Dolls" in about 1983 (took over from Bob Hoskins). A real old pro.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Compton
Date: 06 Oct 04 - 07:28 PM

Nice to see this thread rear it's head again...No one has mentioned that Bernard's most famous advert was as the Voice of Busby in early British Telecommunications Ads.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 16 Oct 04 - 03:33 PM

I remember "Right," Said Fred" from when I was a kid in the 60's. I had a little 45 with it on one side and ???? on the other. I know I liked and played both of them, but seems to me it was the other side I liked better. Anyone else remember anything. I'm from Canada, but Grandma lived in US, so could have come from there. I'm pretty sure Bernard Cribbins was the vocalist in both cases, but that was a while ago.... ;)


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Gray D
Date: 16 Oct 04 - 08:22 PM

Strange, before reading this I would have bet my life on "Gossip Calypso" having been performed by Lance Percival 'cos he was always on 60's telly singing . . . er . . . calypsos.

Bit more Bernard Cribbins trivia? My kids know his voice as that of Roald Dahl's "BFG" from the booktape that we used to play them in the car to keep them quiet.

I still use the phrase "The trouble with 'im is 'ees to 'asty. You never get nowhere if you're too 'asty" if someone c*ck's things up in work.

Thanks to all for the links and lyrics,

Gray D


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: GUEST,garyrudd@hotmail.com
Date: 26 Nov 04 - 09:46 AM

Does anyone have the correct chords to 'Hole in the Ground' please?


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 09:57 AM

For similarly amusing songs try Flanders and Swan. I was introduced to them and Bernard 20 years ago when I was at school!!!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 02:43 PM

Yer 'tis folks

Oh, 'twas on a Monday mornin'-O, the rain it was a rainin',
My love , she turned to me and said,
"Oh, when will you and I be wed,
I've been and bought a double bed,
And mother is complainin'",
(spoken:- "I can't stand her mother")
And all the while the rain it was a rainin'.

'Twas on the Tuesday mornin'-O, the snow it was a glistenin'
My love still hadn't gone away,
So I said "Mistress, tell me pray,
What was it you said yesterday,
I really wasn't listenin'",
(Spoken:- "I laughed, she hit me, it hurt"),
Amd all the while the snow etc.

'Twas on the wednesday mornin'-O, the hail it was a hailin',
My love, she made a quick retort,
She said "To cut the story short,
I've bought a bed, the double sort,
You hearin' must be failin'",
(Spoken:- "I heard that all right, though"),
And all the while the hail etc.

'Twas on the Thursday mornin'-O, the day was not a hot one,
I said "I thought that's what you said,
You've been and bought a double bed,
You must be goin' off your head,
For I've already got one",
(Spoken:- "Got two now haven't I"),
And all the while the day etc.

(Spoken:- "On Friday, nobody spoke").

'Twas on the Saturday mornin'-O, the thunder it was frightening,
I shouted loud, so I'd be heard,
"Oh let's get married on the third",
But she did answer not one word,
For she'd been struck by lightnin',
And after that the weather started brightening.

Enjoy
Don T.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: EagleWing
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 06:10 AM

George Martin produced L.P for Peter Sellars called The Best Of Sellars

If you can't find that, HMV have released a CD "Peter Sellers Collection" with 22 brilliant tracks including "Suddenly it's Folk Song".

Frank L.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: GUEST,Soundcatcher
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 07:25 AM

Here are a more complete set of lyrics for Pat Cooksey's Song 'Why Paddy's not At Work Today'.

This, incidentally, was originally told in momologue form by that brilliant English eccentric Gerard Hoffnung at an address to the Oxford University Union way back in the Fifties.
Eccentric? you ask. Who else would make and perform an orchestra consisting entirely of vaccuum cleaners.
John L


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Subject: Lyr Add: WHY PADDY'S NOT AT WORK TODAY^^^
From: GUEST,Soundcatcher
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 07:27 AM

Oops! Must be my red face nigh


Why Paddy's Not At Work (Excuse Note)

(Pat Cooksey)

Dear Sir I write this note to inform you of my plight
And at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly gray
I write this note to tell why Paddy's not at work today

While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear
And to throw them down from off the top seemed quite a good idea
But the gaffer wasn't very pleased, he was an awful sod
He said I had to cart them down the ladder in me hod.

Well clearing all those bricks by hand, it seemed so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below
But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks is heavier than me.

So when I had untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
I took off like a rocket and to my dismay I found
That half way up I met the bloody barrel coming down.

Well the barrel broke my shoulder as on to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me head
I held on tight, though numb with shock from this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half its load fourteen floors below

Now when those building bricks fell from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel so I started down once more
I clung on tightly to the ropeMe Body Racked with pain
When Halfway down I met the bloody barrel once again

The force of this collision halfway up the office block
Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty state of shock
Still clinging tightly to the rope as I flew to the ground
And I landed on those broken bricks that were scattered all
    around.

Now as I lay there on the deck I thought I'd passed the worst
But when the barrel reached the top, that's when the bottom burst
A shower of bricks came down on me, I knew I had no hope
In all of this confusion, I let go the bloody rope.

The barrel being heavier, it started down once more
And landed right on top of me as I lay on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I can only say
That I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today.

John L


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Subject: Lyr Add: TRY IT THE OTHER WAY ROUND (Mariott Edgar
From: GUEST,Johnno
Date: 31 Dec 05 - 05:08 PM

Since we're talking about furniture-moving and the perils thereof, I thought I'd contribute this hilarious piece (a spoken monologue, rather than a song) by that great Lancashire comedian Al Read:

TRY IT THE OTHER WAY ROUND
Mariott Edgar

It were just striking tea-time, last Tuesday but two,
When the chap from next door gave a knock.
He said, "Quick!" I said, "Where?" He said, "Here!"
I said, "Who?" He said, "You!" I said, "Crikes... That's a shock."

Upstairs on his landing, where both of us flew,
Was his wardrobe jammed tight in the door.
Well, we pushed it and shoved it but all we could do
Was to wedge the thing more than before.

We hammered the doors off and hacked out the drawers
But it wouldn't go anywhere near.
Then at midnight we heard a 'rat tat' and a pause
And a voice shouted, "What's all this 'ere?"

It was Constable Bright, he said, "What's all this din?"
He said, "Come on, it's not very nice."
Then he took in the scene, tucked in his chin
And said, "Listen now, take my advice."

He said, "Try it the other way 'round."
He said, "Try it but don't make a sound. "
If I hear one squeak... if you so much as speak, "
I shall have you inside for the rest of the week."

As it lifted it jarred on the paintwork
Rasped out as clear as could be.
He said, "Caught ya!" and laughed...
I said, "Don't be daft "It's them onions I had for my tea."

I said, "Try it the other way 'round "
There's a way and it's got to be found."
Said the copper, "That's true... push 'ard and you too, "
And I'll whip out me truncheon and lever it through."

Well the wardrobe went in like a charmer
Said my neighbour, "It's in, there's no doubt
We could put up the flag but there's only one snag "
I've been trying to get t'bloody thing out!"

The Constable got on his bike in disgust
And by taking the wardrobe apart,
The two of us pushed and we shoved and we just
Got it wedged like it was at the start.

It was dawn when the man from next door paid a call
"This brickwork's too flimsy!" he said.
"And by banging that wardrobe so hard on the wall...
"You keep knocking my wife out of bed!!!"

He said, "Try it the other way 'round,
"There's a theory I'd like to propound
"If we all get inside... with the weight it might slide
"And I think you might find, you'll get quite a nice ride."

"Oh, I can't live with this!" said the neighbour
"It's a fact I'd be willing to prove.
"He said, "Is it wedged tight?" I said, "Yes!" he said, "Right!"
"Let's leave it... I'll bloody well move!!!"


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Subject: Lyr/Chords Add: HOLE IN THE GROUND (Rudge, Dicks)
From: GUEST,John Olivares
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 11:03 PM

Ok, so I loved this song when I was a child and when I saw the request for chords I worked them out from memory. I'm afraid I don't have a copy of the song any more so some of the chords could be wrong but I think they're correct. Sorry it's taken so long Mr Guest but I only just discovered this site. I hope you're still interested. If not someone else may be.
                     
                           (Intro)
(G) (D) (G) (D) (During (G) chords Remove and replace finger from top E string to simulate lead melody at beginning of song and interludes),

Well there I was, digging this hole,
    (G)    (D) (G)          (D)
Hole in the gr-ound, so big and sort of round it was,
(G)             (Bmin) (E7)            (A7)
And there was I-I-I-I, digging it deep,
   (D7)       (A7)   (C7)       (E7)
It was flat at the bottom and the sides were steep,
      (F#)                      (B)
When a-long comes this bloke in a bowler,
      (E7)            (A7)
Which he lifted and scratched his h-ead.
       (D7)                      (G)
Well he looked down the hole, poor demented soul,
----------------------(G)-----------------------
And he s-aid; "I say do you mind if I make a suggestion?"
--------(D7)-------------------------------------------
"Don't dig there, dig it elsewh-ere.
(G)       (D)    (G)          (D)
You're digging it r-ound and it ought to be square.
      (G)          (Bmin)      (E7)       (A7)
The shape of it's wrong, it's much too long,
   (C)                      (C7)
And you can't put a hole where a hole don't be-
       (A7)                     (D7)
         
               (Interlude 1)
-long.   I ask you what a l-iberty eh?   
(G)   (D)                  (G)       (D)
    Nearly bashed him right in the bowler.
(G)                   (D)

(Verse 2: same chords as verse 1)
(Interlude 2: same chords as intro and interlude 1)
(Verse 3: same chords as verse 1 until:-)

Well it's not there now, the ground's all flat,
         (D7)      (A7)    (C7)         (E7)
And be-neath it is the bloke in the bowler hat,
      (A7)                         (D7)       (G)
And that's that.
   (C7)   (G)


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 04:19 PM

Looking for an audio file of Peter Sellars singing 'A hard days night' can anyone help?


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred composer
From: GUEST,Mark P
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 06:22 AM

Just to complete the final questions about the composer Myles Rudge (and producer George Martin also gets a mention):
http://www.britmovie.co.uk/forums/directors-film-crew/10988-myles-rudge-rip.html


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: GUEST,Oldradio
Date: 21 May 08 - 09:18 AM

There was a further verse to 'twas on a Monday mornin'-O ~ it went something like...

'Twas on a Sunday mornin - o,
(spoken) "Funny, nobody said a word"

I wish I knoew the rest or better still, could get a copy!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 01:14 PM

This appears to be the definitive Bernard Cribbins thread, so let's update with links to Youtube performances.

Not live, but audios of the record, plus animation in the case of "Right Said Fred" and "Hole in the Ground".)

Hole in the Ground
Right said Fred
Gossip Calypso
Folk Song

Although all four records were British hits, I do not recall ever seeing Bernard Cribbins perform any of these songs on TV, their chart success must have been down to radio airplay, of which they got plenty.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Right Said Fred / Bernard Cribbins songs
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Sep 08 - 10:43 AM

gossip calypso gossip calypso
hear all about it rata tat tat
every woman up at the window
giving out the gossip and getting it back
cribbens


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