Lyr Req: Poor Old Ugly Gladys Jones

Subject: Lyr Req: Poor Old Ugly Gladys Jones
From: Warsaw Ed
Date: 11 May 04 - 03:11 AM

Anyone know where to find lyrics to "Poor Old Ugly Gladys Jones" sung by Waylon Jennings?   I could find only the first stanza on a site [Insulting Song Lyrics] that says that Gladys Jones was Jennings second wife, and although the song is comical, they were insulting. One reference is in the Forum in 1997 but no leads to the lyrics.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Old Ugly Gladys Jones
From: khandu
Date: 11 May 04 - 07:58 PM

All I could find was a recording at The Record Lady's Site

Click "Request Page 8"

Ken

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Old Ugly Gladys Jones
From: Warsaw Ed
Date: 12 May 04 - 08:22 PM

Refresh

Subject: Lyr Add: POOR OLD UGLY GLADYS JONES
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 13 May 04 - 11:02 PM

Transcribed from the sound file at The Record Lady's All-Time Country Favorites (see link above).

POOR OLD UGLY GLADYS JONES
(Bowman/Jennings)
As sung by Don Bowman and Friends*

There's a girl lives down the block,
Face'd stop an eight-day clock,
Ugliest kid I ever seen,
More like a nightmare than a dream.
I'm talkin' 'bout poor old ugly Gladys Jones.
Twenty-twenty-twenty, skin and bones.
She measures twenty inches round
From her nose right on down.
Poor old ugly Gladys Jones!

Her mother's never been the same
Since the day ol' Gladys came.
Her daddy quietly popped a cork,
Got stoned, and shot a stork.
A kidnappin' seemed the only way,
So her parents took all they'd made,
Offered ten thousand dollars to the man
Crazy enough to take her off their hands.
Poor old ugly Gladys Jones!
Her parents fin'lly moved away from home.
They'd send her out to play,
And while she's gone, they'd just move away.
Poor old ugly Gladys Jones!

She's tried ever'thing she knows
From beauty aids to fancy clothes,
But even when she's at her best,
She still looks like Chet Atkins in a dress.
Mother Nature stopped for a rest
An' forgot to finish her, I guess.
But she's lookin' prettier ever' day
Since her daddy bought RCA an' TWA an' ...
Poor old ugly Gladys Jones!
Her figure's been declared a disaster zone.
She's got ever'thing it takes,
But the bricks are all out o' place.
Poor old ugly Gladys Jones!
Poor old ugly Gladys Jones!

Her daddy also bought MTA an' downtown LA an' Ben-gay...
An' he's kinda talkin' with some feller in Texas about a ranch named LBJ...

[*I'm not sure who the "friends" are, but they sure sound like Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson.]

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Old Ugly Gladys Jones
From: Warsaw Ed
Date: 14 May 04 - 02:50 AM

Thank you very much, Jim Dixon! I had just about given up after refreshing the thread.   Ed