BS: Adventures of the fabulous stud-monkeys!

Subject: BS: Adventures of the fabulous stud-monkeys!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 May 04 - 09:13 PM

Chongo Chimp's dreams of bedding a long-legged human female may not be in vain. Read the following story about Cameron Diaz and her Macaque companion:

Cameron Diaz is living with a rare Japanese Macaque and she couldn't be happier. "I was in Japan, in the mountain region, when I met Hiriko. He offered me a beetlenut and the rest is history." We asked her if she was aware of the stigma that interspecies relationships can have. "Oh I know, people are so small minded. If they really knew Hiriko they would love him as much as I do. I mean, if you had someone pick small foreign objects out of your hair as a sign of affection, you would fall head over heels as well." She was literally cooing in the interview and smiling the whole time. At the end of the interview though she left us with this serious thought. "I don't think people are saying 'Hey what is Cameron Diaz doing with a Snow Monkey'. I think they are saying 'Hey what is Cameron doing with a JAPANESE Snow Monkey'. It is such a sad thing that people cannot accept the racial thing. Afterall we share 99% of the same genetic code and that has always been good enough for me."

See a photo of the happy couple here:

Cameron and Hiriko sharing domestic bliss

Subject: RE: BS: Adventures of the fabulous stud-monkeys!
From: Ebbie
Date: 15 May 04 - 10:26 PM

"the following story"- humph! You know darn well you wrote it yourself. You have gone too far, Leetle 'awk. I used to have a couple of monkeys myself (in fact, three) and I should think that a romantic relationship would be difficult, not to mention surprising.

Did you ever read 'The Congo Song'? When I was 7 my family moved into a large house (had to- we were a large family) and in its attics were piles of hardcover books. Among them was this book.

The premise was that this beautiful blonde woman in Africa after whom all human males lusted had a long time gorilla companion. He eventually kills her because of jealousy. But there is this disquieting undercurrent of scandal and mystery. Young as I was, I didn't understand it and it seems I might now. I have no idea of who the author might be.

Subject: RE: BS: Adventures of the fabulous stud-monkeys!
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 04 - 11:22 PM

Who is Cameron Diaz?

I probably should know, I guess, but most of my celebrity information comes from reading the front pages of the newspapers in the grocery checkout line.

Subject: RE: BS: Adventures of the fabulous stud-monkeys!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 May 04 - 11:33 PM

She's a Hollywood actress. One of the younger ones. And I did not write that story myself! You can find it here with a whole bunch of other famous primate stories. Just scroll down a way until you find Hiriko.

Famous Monkeys & Apes - Chongo's favourite website!

Subject: RE: BS: Adventures of the fabulous stud-monkeys!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 May 04 - 11:39 PM

On the same website, read about "Crap", a rhesus monkey, and the World's first primate punkrocker!

This is Crap!

Subject: RE: BS: Adventures of the fabulous stud-monkeys!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 May 04 - 11:41 PM

Oops. Let me try that again.

No, sorry, THIS is Crap!

Subject: RE: BS: Adventures of the fabulous stud-monkeys!
From: GUEST,Tang the Orangutan
Date: 15 May 04 - 11:58 PM

I thought this thread was going to be about me. I thought that the lovely women of mudcat were panting after me because of my stunning masterpiece, An Ode to Lice:

Ode To Lice

White and brown
Crawling on many legs
In the reddish brown jungle
Of my body hair
Communing with the fleas
Creating itches everywhere
Food for my empty belly
You crawl around me
Hiding amongst the mats
Of my soft long hair
Sucking my blood
Feeding your young
As I hunt for you
To eat you
A vicious circle.

TTO



I was going to inform you that I am NOT a monkey. I am an orangutan, but I suppose that is a moot point anyways.

Subject: RE: BS: Adventures of the fabulous stud-monkeys!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 May 04 - 12:12 AM

Not at all, it's a very significant point. Apes are not monkeys. Monkeys are not apes. But let's not forget...they are all primates.

Subject: RE: BS: Adventures of the fabulous stud-monkeys!
From: open mike
Date: 16 May 04 - 12:36 AM

this may be the book in question...
from www.abebooks.com--for sale for $6

The Congo Song
Cloete, Stuart
Price: US$ 6.00 [Convert Currency]
Shipping: [Rates and Speeds]
Book Description: Boston Houghton Mifflin 1/1/1943. Good+. ISBN: B00005VOJG SKU: 1022653. Binding is HARDCOVER. Bookseller Inventory #1022653

Bookseller: Rivalbooks.com (Hailey, ID, U.S.A.)

Subject: RE: BS: Adventures of the fabulous stud-monkeys!
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 May 04 - 01:58 AM

I'll be darned. That could be the book. On the other hand, we moved to that house in 1942 and my guess would be that none of my older brothers and sisters brought a book like that into the house. I think the ISBN says this book was printed in 1943. Although another publishing house could have published it earlier. I'm going to have to find out.

I remember it well- it was a faded red clothbound book! Isn't memory amazing.

Subject: RE: BS: Adventures of the fabulous stud-monkeys!
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 May 04 - 02:33 AM

It's got to be the one: Stuart Cloete wrote a number of books about Africa. Here's one review I found on a different book:

"Stuart Cloete in The Turning Wheels (1937) writes what is in effect a soap opera in novel form about trekker squabbles, vindictiveness and obsession with sex; Cloete's trekkers were more interested in adultery, fornication, miscegenation and other forms of lustful behaviour than in a "model republic". The novel, needless to say, was immediately banned in this country. Yet none of these versions of the Trek achieved the currency of Preller's work."

Now, I see why I remembered the book!

Actually, I realized a bit ago that we moved into that house in September 1943 and of course, I didn't read it in the first few years. I think I was 12 when I and one brother discovered the stacks.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming...

Subject: RE: BS: Adventures of the fabulous stud-monkeys!
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 18 May 04 - 01:56 PM

Yeah but if we're not supposed to engage in interspecies relationships then why are they called Prime Mates? (rimshot!)

Subject: RE: BS: Adventures of the fabulous stud-monkeys!
From: Ebbie
Date: 18 May 04 - 04:24 PM

hahhaha Good one, CC.