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BS: If I was in Charge
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Subject: BS: If I was in Charge From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 04 Nov 04 - 10:14 PM here's a few ideas for Tony & Co. If I was in charge we would not need prisons, anyone begging, stealing or wearing baseball caps/tracksuits would be shot on sight. Murderes and drug dealers would be hung on conviction. Local taxation introduced for council tax. telly licence abolished, especially for poor folk. car thieves and burglars will get 10 years in jail [or heads chopped off] i think of more ideas later [its late here]. |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: DougR Date: 04 Nov 04 - 10:15 PM Thank God, John from Hull, you are not in charge! DougR |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: GUEST Date: 04 Nov 04 - 10:16 PM Go to the back of the class, J0hn... Your allotted 2 threads have been created for today, already. |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 04 Nov 04 - 10:17 PM So whats wrong with my ideas then? bloody bleeding heart liberals! |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Ebbie Date: 04 Nov 04 - 10:21 PM The problem, jOhn, in making these kinds of rules is that others will add more rules and others will make still more rules and before you know it, your own head's been chopped off. |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Bobert Date: 04 Nov 04 - 10:27 PM What everyone but you said, jOhn... Go to bed... Bobert |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 04 Nov 04 - 10:32 PM so, you would all legalise begging, stealing, and assorted dodginess? |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Joe Offer Date: 04 Nov 04 - 10:36 PM If I were in charge, I would mandate the proper use of subjunctives... -Joe Offer, son of an English teacher- |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Cluin Date: 04 Nov 04 - 10:39 PM The more dodginess, the better, jOhn. Give me lotsa room to deke. |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Nov 04 - 10:42 PM jOhn, you are mentally screwed beyond hope. :-) Why not just adopt the old martial arts technique of Lapp-Goch? It's based on this principle: * Decide ahead of time who is dangerous to you now...or might be someday, even if they aren't now...or might even think about being dangerous to you someday...and KILL them all NOW without warning before they get a chance to do anything! * Imagine how safe you will feel once you've eliminated all the "undesirables" in your neighborhood...then your region...then your country...and finally...THE WORLD!!! Imagine the thanks of a grateful humanity that you will receive... (snicker!) Here is the dearest promise of every tyrant unto his people, upon assuming command: "I will restore order!" Yeah, sure.... p.s. I agree about abolishing the telly licenses, though. |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Bobert Date: 04 Nov 04 - 10:42 PM Yo jOhn.. It ain't about legalizin' this kinda stuff but more like, ahhhhh, what you gonna do about it... Okay, think about it this way. You got a guy down on his luck out beggin' fie a meal. Tight? Well, if you leave him alone then maybe at the end of the day someone would have throwed him a little money and he would have gone to bed without an empty stomach and whoever gave him the moneu will go to bed thinking they helped someone less off thean themself. Right, so far? Well, now unner yer proposal, this guy would be arrested and thrown into jail which is now gonna cost you some serious money to keep him there and no one is going to go to bed feeling good. Got it? (Prolly not, Bobert. jOhn has been up way too late and is in the Twilight Zone of reality. You know, like most of the other time, 'cept in this case, he has an excuse...) Awwww, nevermind, jOhn. Yer right. Shoot the guy! No, wait, take his head off... Yeah, that's better... Either way, he won't go to bed hungry tonight... Bobert |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 04 Nov 04 - 10:55 PM Little Hawk-The ideas you describe are exactly waht the US and Uk goverment are doing now, [Gauntanamo Bay, and Belmarsh Prison, there are folk there that have not been convicyed OR CHARGED with any offence!] Not sure about Gauntanamo Bay, but the guys in Belmarsh Prison are locked up simply because they looked a bit dodgy, police do not have any evidence to charge them with anything, but they are thrown in jail as "they might be up to something, but we can't prove it". [see my earlier thread "charge them or let them go"]. |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 04 Nov 04 - 10:59 PM anyway=that lapp-goch seems like a good idea, only a few weeks ago i was in local drinking place, some bloke came up to me says ="give me cigarette", i said no, he came towards me in an agressive manner, so I give him a big thump in the belly, then he fell down on floor, [serve him right]. have to be very carefull nowadays. |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Nov 04 - 11:01 PM You are SO right, jOhn. I thought I'd leave it to someone else to point out that obvious fact, and you just have. Nice work! Bush is clearly an apprentice of Lapp-Goch, if not a master of it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 04 Nov 04 - 11:01 PM That was in Circus circus, my advice is= dont go there, as its full of shitty council estate people. |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Bobert Date: 04 Nov 04 - 11:03 PM Well, gol danged, jOhn... You wanta behead 'um 'er not??? You bounce from one to the other... Think I'll jus' go the bed... Geeze.... Bobert |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 04 Nov 04 - 11:06 PM if they done some bad stuff, then yes, behead em, but if they just look a bit dodgy then , no, you have to prove they are bad first. |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Blissfully Ignorant Date: 05 Nov 04 - 12:10 AM If i were in charge, i would outlaw use of the phrase 'could of'. Blissfully Ignorant, who has been scorned by many English teachers. |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: GUEST,Pleasantly Ponderant Date: 05 Nov 04 - 12:35 AM If I was in charge, I would make all dodgy people go around wearing their underpants over their trousers. That'd teach them.... And.... You should bring back the stocks in the town square again, and we'd be able to throw all the rotten Tesco's tomatoes (and grapefruits) at them. All day! Plus..... Drunk drivers who kill people should be jailed for life |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Peace Date: 05 Nov 04 - 12:39 AM What will you do with the chopped-off heads, jOhn? Jaysus, they could put them in your dustbin--take the place of the cats. Neighbours saying, "Here;s your chance to get a head" and stuff like that. |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: GUEST,NOT Pleasantly Ponderant Date: 05 Nov 04 - 03:03 AM Pleasantly Ponderant, I think you are getting mixed up between dodgy people, & Superman.... There is really little excuse for this.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Rustic Rebel Date: 05 Nov 04 - 03:43 AM If I was in charge I would make all small men larger by use of devices that are un-natural but obviously practical in uses that make women happy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Rustic Rebel Date: 05 Nov 04 - 03:46 AM P.S. I feel that the spirit of jOhn from hull somehow infected my mind and typewriter, for me to have just said i want a man with a prostetic penis or something similar. Did I even say thAT? |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Peace Date: 05 Nov 04 - 03:48 AM If I was in charge I would make all small men larger by use of devices that are un-natural but obviously practical in uses that make women happy. Read between the lines. |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Fibula Mattock Date: 05 Nov 04 - 12:05 PM Sounds fine to me. |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Nov 04 - 12:08 PM "Small" men? Napoleon was small, wasn't he? Isn't that why he ran around conquering all of Europe? I think that the idea of making small men larger is a good one, as it would contribute to ending war. |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Blissfully Ignorant Date: 05 Nov 04 - 03:17 PM I think it's a fantastic idea. Can i have Jessica Rabbit? :0) |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Richard Bridge Date: 05 Nov 04 - 04:12 PM I would start by executing all persons financially supporting themselves in any connection with association football, deporting all survivors having any other connection with it (typically amateurs), and banning the game. This would, at a stroke, remove the focus for a large part of civil violence and antisocial behaviour in the country, significantly raise the average IQ of those left alive in the country, remove a significant stimulus to poor use of the English language, improve the likelihood of schoolchildren attending with diligence to their work, and remove major sources of conflict with foreign nations and between the sexes. Next, country music (including country and western).... |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: skipy Date: 05 Nov 04 - 04:39 PM Richard, we must meet & put together the rest of the changes we are going to make when our party comes to power. I thought I was alone! Can we make all blouses & bras see through? Skipy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Richard Bridge Date: 05 Nov 04 - 04:41 PM Gosh skipy! I wonder if we agree about the church of Diana the Martyr too... |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Bill D Date: 05 Nov 04 - 04:42 PM If I were in charge, I'd ....I'd.....I'd abdicate. |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Bill D Date: 05 Nov 04 - 04:46 PM ...right AFTER I put itching powder in the shorts of all the ignorant. (Not the stupid who can't help it, the ignorant who don't try to improve.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: mack/misophist Date: 05 Nov 04 - 10:36 PM I am in charge and I say it's a felony to operate a computer without anti-virus, a firewall, and a spell checker. Make it so! |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 05 Nov 04 - 11:05 PM Sir jOhn,
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: GUEST,Rovey Waid Date: 05 Nov 04 - 11:09 PM Every day would be the first day of spring. |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Blissfully Ignorant Date: 06 Nov 04 - 01:31 PM Oi! Any itching powder comes anywhere near this ignoramous, i shall scream and scream and scream until i'm sick! |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Bill D Date: 06 Nov 04 - 03:52 PM good thing I'm not likely to be in charge, eh? |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Joe_F Date: 06 Nov 04 - 08:55 PM If I were king, my pipe should be premier. The skies of time and chance are seldom clear, We would inform them all with bland blue weather. Delight alone would need to shed a tear, For dream and deed should war no more together. Art should aspire, yet ugliness be dear; Beauty, the shaft, should speed with wit for feather; And love, sweet love, should never fall to sere, If I were king. But politics should find no harbor near; The Philistine should fear to slip his tether; Tobacco should be duty free, and beer; In fact, in room of this, the age of leather, An age of gold all radiant should appear, If I were king. -- W. E. Henley (1877) |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Charmion Date: 07 Nov 04 - 09:18 AM If I were in charge ... the "tune it or die" rule would be enforced with draconian determination! |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: Auggie Date: 07 Nov 04 - 09:41 AM If I was in charge, the name of this thread would be "If I WERE in Charge" your ever anally retentive verbophile Auggie |
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Subject: RE: BS: If I was in Charge From: GUEST,Goulet Date: 07 Nov 04 - 09:52 AM If I were in charge Every day would be the first day of spring Every heart would have a new song to sing And we sing of the joy every morning would bring If I were in charge Every man would be as free as a bird Every voice should be a voice to be heard Take my word We would treasure each day that occurred My world would be a beautiful place, Where we would weave such wonderful dreams My world would wear a smile on its face Like the man in the moon has when the moon beams If I were in charge Every man would say the world was my friend There'd be happiness that no man could end No my friend Not if I were in charge. Every head would be held up high There'd be sunshine in everyone's sky If the day ever dawned when I were in charge RG |
