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Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?

John M. 09 Dec 04 - 12:59 PM
Mark Ross 09 Dec 04 - 01:59 PM
Georgiansilver 09 Dec 04 - 02:43 PM
GUEST,Hootenanny 09 Dec 04 - 05:39 PM
Rabbi-Sol 09 Dec 04 - 06:20 PM
Emma B 09 Dec 04 - 07:22 PM
Mark Ross 09 Dec 04 - 09:20 PM
GUEST,Tony 09 Dec 04 - 09:36 PM
The Walrus 09 Dec 04 - 09:44 PM
Leadfingers 09 Dec 04 - 10:15 PM
Lighter 09 Dec 04 - 10:24 PM
Snuffy 10 Dec 04 - 08:50 AM
Steve Parkes 10 Dec 04 - 09:20 AM
Charley Noble 10 Dec 04 - 09:57 AM
Nigel Parsons 10 Dec 04 - 10:36 AM
dick greenhaus 11 Dec 04 - 10:06 AM
Charley Noble 11 Dec 04 - 10:17 AM
GUEST,Major Matt Mason 10 Jan 09 - 11:22 AM
Charley Noble 10 Jan 09 - 05:01 PM
GUEST,dennis malone 14 Mar 09 - 01:46 AM
bseed(charleskratz) 14 Mar 09 - 03:39 AM
Valmai Goodyear 14 Mar 09 - 09:09 AM
GUEST,Ron 05 May 09 - 09:44 PM
GUEST,Edthefolkie 05 May 09 - 10:01 PM
Bryn Pugh 06 May 09 - 06:15 AM
GUEST,guest 08 Jul 09 - 11:29 AM
Rowan 08 Jul 09 - 07:20 PM
GUEST,steve 02 Sep 09 - 02:21 AM
Nigel Parsons 02 Sep 09 - 04:18 AM
GUEST 16 Sep 09 - 01:53 PM
sing4peace 17 Sep 09 - 12:59 PM
GUEST 06 Jul 10 - 07:50 AM
GUEST 09 Jul 10 - 11:51 AM
Charley Noble 09 Jul 10 - 10:31 PM
Charley Noble 09 Jul 10 - 10:37 PM
GUEST,Earthling 30 Dec 10 - 06:46 AM
GUEST,Eliza 30 Dec 10 - 07:03 AM
Trapper 30 Dec 10 - 11:38 AM
Leadfingers 30 Dec 10 - 12:03 PM
GUEST,Dennis 06 May 11 - 10:38 PM
GUEST,Lighter 07 May 11 - 08:59 AM
threelegsoman 07 May 11 - 12:31 PM
ScottishVoice 07 May 11 - 04:38 PM
GUEST 15 May 11 - 07:48 PM
GUEST,honey badger 08 Jun 11 - 08:49 AM
GUEST,CTBurke 03 Sep 11 - 01:55 PM
GUEST,Amy 15 Sep 11 - 03:47 AM
GUEST,I-S 10 Nov 11 - 07:11 PM
Bert 11 Nov 11 - 04:56 PM
Charley Noble 11 Nov 11 - 05:39 PM
GUEST 14 Nov 11 - 02:58 AM
Bert 14 Nov 11 - 10:28 AM
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GUEST,JTB 27 Apr 14 - 05:04 PM
GUEST,Wendy 03 May 14 - 06:53 AM
dick greenhaus 03 May 14 - 02:42 PM
GUEST,Joe Knight 16 Jun 14 - 11:08 PM
Rog Peek 17 Jun 14 - 04:40 AM
eftifino 17 Jun 14 - 09:22 AM
GUEST,Joe Kitchen 05 Aug 14 - 06:56 AM
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dick greenhaus 10 Aug 14 - 10:46 AM
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Subject: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: John M.
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 12:59 PM

Hello everyone,

Here is the  "The Wild West Show" which needs to be added digital tradition database.

Does anybody sing this song?   If so when/where did you learn it and would you be willing to sing it for a folklorist?  If yes, please feel free to email me at john@mehlberg.com

Any help is appreciated.

Sincerely,

John Mehlberg
~
My, mostly traditional, bawdy songs, toasts and recitations website: www.immortalia.com
~

THE WILD WEST SHOW

(Leader:) Ladies and Gentleman, in the far ring we have
the OO OO AA AA bird.

(Crowd:) OOOH fantastic incredible, what the
hell is an OO OO AA AA bird?

The OO OO AA AA bird is a rare and exotic
bird found in the deserts of Australia. It
has three foot legs and four foot testicles,
and every time it lands, it goes OO OO AA AA.

Chorus:

We are off to see the wild west show
With the elephants and the kangaroos
No matter what the weather
As long as we're together
We're off to see the wild west show.

(Leader:) Ladies and Gentleman, in the far ring we have
the giraffe
(Crowd:) OOOH, fantastic, incredible, what the
hell is a giraffe

The giraffe from the Savannas of Africa is
the only animal that can walk into a bar
and say, "The high-balls are on me."

Chorus.

(Leader:) Ladies and Gentleman, in the far ring we have
the wherethefuckarewe tribe
(Crowd:) OOOH, fantastic, incredible, what the
hell is a wherethefuckarewe tribe

This is a tribe of four foot Pygmies found in
deepest darkest Africa that walks through
five foot high grass shouting: "Where the fuck are we?
Where the fuck are we?"

Chorus.

(Leader:) Ladies and Gentleman, in the far ring we have
the orangutan bird
(Crowd:) OOOH, fantastic, incredible, what the
hell is an orangutan bird

The orangutan bird is found in the mountains
of Africa. It's left ball is made of steel
and it's right ball is made of copper. Every
time it lands, it goes oran-gu-tan,
oran-gu-tan.

Chorus.

(Leader:) Ladies and Gentleman, in the far ring we have
the rhinoceros
(Crowd:) OOOH, fantastic, incredible, what the
hell is a rhinoceros

The rhinoceros is reputed to be the richest
animal in the world. It's name is derived
from the Latin - rhino meaning money and
soreass meaning piles. Hence - piles of
money.

Chorus.

(Leader:) Ladies and Gentleman, in the far ring we have
the kerii bird
(Crowd:) OOOH, fantastic, incredible, what the
hell is a kerii bird

The kerrii bird lives north of the Arctic
Circle. Every time it comes in to land on the
ice it says, "Kerii kerii ker-ist it's cold."

Chorus.

(Leader:) Ladies and Gentleman, in the far ring we have
the winky wank bird
(Crowd:) OOOH, fantastic, incredible, what the
hell is a winky wank bird

By some strange evolutionary occurrence, the
nervous system of this bird's eyelids is
connected to its foreskin. Every time it
winks, it wanks and every time it wanks, it
winks.
Notes:  This song is actually a cante-fable with only the chorus sung.  It is also known under the title "The Hamburg Show" and "Larry Turn the Crank".    The earliest printed text can be found in Immortalia [1927] pgs.153-154 under the title "Hamburg Show". The text above is from the National Engineering Book of Song & Verse (not dated (ca 1969), no publisher, no author, no location (probably Montreal, Canada)). 

Here are a list of recorded versions of the "Wild West Show" starting with the single field recording:

  • Field Recording - John Mehlberg Collection.


Commercial recordings:

.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Mark Ross
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 01:59 PM

I used to sing this 30 years ago back East, I think I learned it from Paula Ballan, who used to book the Philly Folk Fest. Fun song, but I haven't had much of a call to sing it lately.

Mark Ross


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 02:43 PM

I used to sing it with the lads on the rugby coach:-
"In this cage ladies and gentlemen we have the red pepper bird!"
"The red pepper bird! What the ......g hell is that?"
"The red pepper bird..eats red pepper..drinks red pepper..and flies backwards to keep it's a... cool.
Best wishes.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,Hootenanny
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 05:39 PM

Used sing this at school and into my teens. From the printed verses above you appear to have omitted the Pie Bird, the one with the triangular arse hole that flies across the desert shitting pyramids.

If memory serves me right the introduction started with a recittation something like;

Roll up ladies, roll up gents
See the greatest show in tents
See the leopard's 100 spots
99 on his back and one on his...

Cock your eyes over here folks etc etc, can't remember the rest


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Rabbi-Sol
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 06:20 PM

I learned this song from Bob Rodriguez who did it at the South Street Seaport 32 years ago during an X Seaman's Institute concert.

By the way, Mark mentioned Paula Ballan. She also booked the concerts for the Nassau Community College Folk Festival which takes place every April. I don't know if she still does. SOL ZELLER


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Emma B
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 07:22 PM

Not since school "charabanc" trips - but brings back memories........


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Mark Ross
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 09:20 PM

Yes, Sol, she still doew. An dy the way, GUT YONTIFF!

Mark Ross


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,Tony
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 09:36 PM

Learned long ago from boat club and rugby club associates.

And in this tank ladies and gentlemen we have the Shark
The Shark is the most voracious feeder in the seas,
It eats seals, fish and the occasional passing swimmer
What was that lady? Does it swaller yer 'ole?
Nah, it spits it out when it comes to it.

And in this cage we have the Ozzle-Woozle bird
These birds fly in a single line with the largest bird in front followed by the next largest and so on down to the smallest at the rear
At the first sign of danger, the smallest bird flies up the behind of the bird in front and so on up the line
The single remaining bird then flies round and round in every decreasing circles until it disappears up its own fundamental orifice, from which advantageous position it proceeds to shower shit and derision in all direction.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: The Walrus
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 09:44 PM

I recall some bits along the lines:
(as a recitation, different people taking different 'verses')

Ladies and Gentleman, over here we have
The spotted leopard

This big cat has 365 spots
One for every day of the year.
What about leap years you ask?
George, lift his tail.

Now we have the Laughing hyena
This creature drinks ones a day
eats once a week and never f**ks
What he's got to laugh about, Gawd knows

Now we have the camel,
This curious creature eats mud
Shits bricks
And has a triangular arsehole
Hence the Pyramids

Here we have the Wild Man of Borneo
This poor fellow has no cock
"How does he F**k Guv'ner"?
"He can't, that's why he's so wild.

The 'end of the show' was usually signalled by the group 'Leader'
(or some member, having got bored by the whole performance) announcing

"And now will all you small childre please get into the boat, the Elephant is about to piss".

Walrus


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Leadfingers
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 10:15 PM

This is one of those songs that ONLY works with Audience participation - IF you can get the 'people' to add their own verses . not only is it a lot less strain on the voice , you can pick up some
extra verses with a bit of luck !


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Lighter
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 10:24 PM

Known in the British Army in World War One. See "The Long Trail," by John Brophy (1965).


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Snuffy
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 08:50 AM

I learned it back in the 60's as the Umiguli bird, rather than the OO OO AA AA bird

The pygmies were the Fukawi tribe who shouted "We're the Fukawi"

And it's the Orang Utan, not the orangutan bird. It is really a large ape and is found in the mountains of Borneo rather than Africa

Chorus was almost the same:
We're off to see the wild west show
The elephant and the kangaroo-oo-oo-oo
Never mind the weather
As long as we're together
We're off to see the wild west show.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 09:20 AM

The pygmy verse works particularly well in the West Midlands, where "where" is pronounced "weer". In polite circles they are known as the Ellawi tribe.

The leopard, according to my little bro, goes:
... the spotted leo-pard [3 syllables] has one spot for every day of the year. What's that, madam? Leap years? George, lift the leo-pardpard's tail and show the lady the 29th of February!

Steve


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it
From: Charley Noble
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 09:57 AM

I first heard this from our old family friend Dennis Puleston, originally from the UK but resident in Long Island, NY for many a year.

He was always careful to refer to the Pygmy tribe as the "Fegawees" so as not to tip off the audience.

I'm not sure if he was the source of the "crocogator" verse we used to sing, or whether we dreamed it up ourselves but it went something like this:

"And over in this corner, ladies and gentlemen, is the crocogator"

"Oh, ah!"

"This fearsome beast has the head of a crocodile at one end and the head of a alligator at the other."

"Oh, ah! (pause) But how does he eliminate?"

"He can't! That's what makes him so fierce!"

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 10:36 AM

And in this cage we have the rocky mountain goat,
Which lives high in the mountains, and leaps from rock to rock.
As he leaps he farts.
What scientists can't tell us is whether the fart makes him leap,
Or the leap makes him fart!

And in this cage we have the elephant, "Don't go near that cage madam!"
The elephant drinks ten gallons of liquid a day, "Don't go near that cage madam!"
The elephant eats a ton of food each day, "Don't go near that cage madam!"
And the elephant shits.... "Too late madam, Joe, dig her out!"

Cheers

Nigel


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 11 Dec 04 - 10:06 AM

Just to point out that tradition continues, there's a software company that sells a nice mapping/charting/navigation program. Company name? Fugawi.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it
From: Charley Noble
Date: 11 Dec 04 - 10:17 AM

Dick-

Fugawi mapping software, wonderful!

Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it
From: GUEST,Major Matt Mason
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 11:22 AM

Learned this one from my Da thirty years ago here in the States. He always sang it with a Cockney accent.

And now we have the Oo-Ah Bird!
(Audience: The Oo-Ah Bird! Fan-TASTIC!)
The Oo-Ah Bird lays square eggs with sharp corners, and can be recognized by his distinctive cry... "OOOOOOOOOOAHHHHHHH!"

Another local variant was the Ki-Ki bird insted of Kerii bird (Ki-ki-ki-RIST, it's cold around here!)

And of course, the tigron, which, similar to the crocagator, is the meanest creature alive, with the head of a tiger at one end and a lion at the other...
(Audience: 'Ow's 'ee defecate?)
What's that?
(OW'S 'EE DEFECATE?!)
He don't! That's why he's so mean!

-MMM-


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it
From: Charley Noble
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 05:01 PM

MMM-

No doubt your "tigron" verse is directly related to the "crocogator" verse that I posted above, but which came first?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,dennis malone
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 01:46 AM

when I played club rugby at Iowa in 71-72 the verse I remember was

In this corner ladies and gentlemen (as if there were any ladies present)

we have the fantastic and amazing KIWI bird

this is the only bird in the whole wide world that actually

eats roots, shoots and leaves!

We are off to see the wild west show!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 03:39 AM

I learned this song in 1961 from a young woman who was working at Timberline Lodge on Mt. Hood in Oregon--in the Blue Ox Bar in the basement of the hotel (which played the Overlook Hotel in "The Shining," with Jack Nicholson.

As I learned it, the Oooh-aaah bird weighed one pound but laid a two pound egg, and there's a verse about the Kiki bird which stole butter from Swiss families, spread it over a slope high in the Alps, flew up to the top of the butter patch and sat down and as it slid down the slope cried out: Ki-ki-ki-ki-rist, what a sensation!

Then, there was the rhinosaurus (pronounced rhino-sore ass) whose name broke down to rhino, meaning armor plated, and sore ass, which means piles in any language.

The version of the leopard (pronounced lee=oh=pard) verse I learned was much like that posted by Walrus, but in my version it was a little boy who during the tour kept pulling on the elephant's tail until the verse ended, "Keeper, would you please hose off that little boy?"

Another animal featured in the wild west show was the male alligator, "our very most important animal" because each year the female alligator swam upstream to lay a thousand eggs and following her was the male who ate nine hindred and ninety-nine of the eggs; so you see without the male alligator, our most important animal, we'd be up to our asses in alligators.

I added a verse about the bodini bird which took off from the Amazon jungle in great flocks and flew single file in ever decreasing circles at ever increasing speed until each bird flew his head up the arse of the bird ahead of him, and at this time all gave out their beautiful mating call, "I = = CAN'T - - SEE = = FOR - - SHIT!"

Charles


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Valmai Goodyear
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 09:09 AM

I learned this song in the sixth-form common room and added to it on Bonfire outmeeting coaches with the Cliffe Bonfire Society, Lewes, Sussex, UK.

An aside usually added to the verse about the Winky-Wanky Bird:

'For Gawd's sake, Madam don't throw sand in its eyes!'

Valmai (Lewes)


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,Ron
Date: 05 May 09 - 09:44 PM

And in this corner, ladies and gentlemen, we have Lydia the Tattooed Lady!

Lydia the tattooed lady? Who the hell is Lydia the Tattooed Lady?

Lydia the Tattooed Lady has a W tattooed on one cheek, and a W tattooed on the other... and when she does somersaults all you see is

WOW MOM WOW MOM WOW MOM...


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,Edthefolkie
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:01 PM

Chorus sung, animals spoken in a loud voice like a fairground barker.

Learned some of it while in the Combined Cadet Force of a supposedly respectable UK public day school. We used to sing it on the bus on the way back from a wooded area where we rushed about like Dad's Army or that of Fred Karno. Obviously a hangover from HM Forces, National Service backwards to WWII and WW1.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 06 May 09 - 06:15 AM

Another aside re the WinkiWanki Bird :

This species is rapidly becoming extinct because small boys throw sand in its eyes - but it dies with a smile on its face.

Ernie - turn the fuckin' crank !


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,guest
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 11:29 AM

learned it my local pub

fu fu bird

now ladies and gentlemen this bird soars 2000 feet in the sky

and swoops down to within 2inches of ground and the way back up he goes
" Fu Fu Fu-ck that was close"
.....................................................................


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it
From: Rowan
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 07:20 PM

And in this cage, ladies and gentlemen, we have the triangular arsehole bird.
A most peculiar bird, it eats only sand and can shit only every few millennia.
The first times it produced the pyramids, and most recently,
it produced the YMCA.

[the symbol for the YMCA was (in the early 60s) a triangle and, in Melbourne, the building was triangular in plan]
Also from the same era and location;

And, in this cage, ladies and gentlemen, we have the cryptic churchmouse.
Very discreet, it crept into the crypt, crapped and crept out again.

Cheers, Rowan


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it
From: GUEST,steve
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 02:21 AM

I learned this song from Trevor Jones in Avalon on Catalina Island in 1976 were I met Natalie Woods and Robert Wagner who frequented the bar where Trevor played.

I don't sing it much but on occasion....when I have the right crowd. Trevor was Welsh I believe and knew more songs than a person has a right to recall.

The verse (with a fine welsh-slightly brit but different- accent):

In the next cage sports fans
we have this most amazing creature known as a bengal tiger

fantastic, unbelievable, no shit
what the hell's a bengal tiger

well the bengal tiger is one of God's most amazing creatures
it is an 800 pound pussy that eats you!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 04:18 AM

That Bengal tiger sounds a little like the cat encountered in S.America.
A man was walking through the Amazonian forest with his guide when a massive cat ran from the undergrowth and bit off his pride & joy.
When the man woke up in hospital & asked what the cat was he was told it was a "two-litre jaguar"


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 01:53 PM

And in this corner we have the Kudu
The Kudu?
The only animal to have brass balls and as it runs you hear the sound
ku du ku du


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: sing4peace
Date: 17 Sep 09 - 12:59 PM

Thanks for reviving this thread. I read through every one and laughed all the way. It brought me back to happy memories of my dad (Jody Gibson "Cranky Yankee") singing this at the old "Black Pearl" tavern in Newport, Rhode Island when he was playing with Roger Sprung and Kevin Fennessey. This song would go on and on and on and the audience would join in to the point where the parrot (Shipwreck) would get all excited and start to sing too. Thanks for the trip down memory lane.

Joyce


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Jul 10 - 07:50 AM

Seems one has been missed...

Ladies and Gentlemen! Here we have the Ostrich!
The Ostrich ?
Yes the Ostrich! This amazing bird Ladies and Gentlemen can not only not fly, but it lays eggs so large that every time it lays one its
Ass stretches!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jul 10 - 11:51 AM

in this corner we have the Zbra its the only creature in the whole wide world that is 26 sizes bigger than a A bra.

In this corner we have a porcupine a very strang creature indead it is the only creature with a 1000 pricks and no Ms. Jones He is not for sale.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it
From: Charley Noble
Date: 09 Jul 10 - 10:31 PM

Amazing!

Keep 'em coming.

Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it
From: Charley Noble
Date: 09 Jul 10 - 10:37 PM

Having reviewed the amazing posts above I'm reminded:

"That if the Fu shits, wear it!."

But that was another story.

Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,Earthling
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 06:46 AM

I learned this song back in 50s England as an army cadet and having read this most interesting thread, allow me to add the Ooslum Bird (sic):
-
The Oozlum bird?
Yes madam, the Oozlum Bird.
This bird flies round in ever decreasing circles
Eventually disappearing, in a cloud shit and feathers up it's own arsehole.
-
Then there's polar bear hunting:
-
The hunter digs a hole in the ice
Carefully places a line of dried peas around the edge of the hole
and when the polar bear comes up for a pea
He kicks him in the ice hole.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 07:03 AM

My first boyfriend taught me this in Edinburgh in 1968. I thought he was wonderful, but he had to explain several of the verses. He always sang the chorus, and narrated the verses in a pseudo-American accent. He also taught me a thing about a man who had "large balls, twice as heavy as lead" who apparently, "with a singular twist of his muscular wrist, he threw them over his head " (tarara boom etc.) Does anyone know that one? I was only seventeen and completely innocent and naive. I smile now, I was horrified and fascinated in equal measure! He is now Professor of Epidemiology in Scotland, I don't suppose he sings this song any more!!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Trapper
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 11:38 AM

Learned it as a camp counselor, sung by the staff after the kiddies went to bed.

- Al


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Leadfingers
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 12:03 PM

Earthling - Variation on the Ooozlum Bird!

In the next cage we have the Whirly Twirly bird . a most innoffensive creature , who's sole defence when pursued by one of its many predators is to fly round and round in ever decreasing circles til it vanishes with a pop and a puff of blue smoke up its own rectal orifice from which safe abode it hurls abuse and excretia at its pursuer


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,Dennis
Date: 06 May 11 - 10:38 PM

The 1085th Medevac, Rapid City, South Dakota, sang this as their company theme song with slightly different lyrics.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,Lighter
Date: 07 May 11 - 08:59 AM

Dennis, could you post those lyrics? And when you sang them?


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: threelegsoman
Date: 07 May 11 - 12:31 PM

As a young man at college, I used to sing this song on coach trips returning from hockey matches. I recognize most of the verses in the same form or slight variations in the threads above. A couple of the verses I sang were:

In the next cage ladies and gentlemen is the F-f-f-fuffer-mouse.

Fan-tastic, in-credible, im-possible, what the f*cking hell is that?

This animile ladies and gentlemen lives in the Say-har-ay desert where it travels in groups in Indian file. The last one in the line disappears up the arse-hole of the one before until there is only one left who says, "Where the f-f-f-f*cking hell do we go from here?

The Camel

This animile also lives in the Say-har-ay desert where it can go for weeks without drinking water, living entirely on sand.
Hence the pyramids!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: ScottishVoice
Date: 07 May 11 - 04:38 PM

I have a friend who sings this but off the top of my head the only verse I can remember is the "oocha-magoolie" bird.

Same as the OO OO AA bird.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST
Date: 15 May 11 - 07:48 PM

I learned what I still consider one of the cleverest verses at the knee of my older cousin, an FP of George Heriot's Edinburgh, wham ne'er a school surpasses for bawdy songs and their bit verses. Any part of its phraseology that may not be quite English as she is ought to be spoke, does however reflect the way things are expressed in Scotia's genteel capital.
(Alba gu brąth!)

and in the next cage l and g we have the
POLAR BEAR!
The POLAR BEAR? Charles fucking Darwin! What the hell is that?
The polar bear, l and g, lives on an iceberg near the North Pole. On one side of the iceberg there is a Frenchman who keeps a private school and on the the side of the iceberg there is an Italian who keeps a private school. And all day long the polar bear skites back and forth on its arse between them keeping its privates cool.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,honey badger
Date: 08 Jun 11 - 08:49 AM

Here we've got a hornbill?
A Hornbill?
Don't be silly man, my name's Joe!

The mountain goat...
The mountain goat?
Yes, the mountain goat etc. etc.
.. is an animal that jumps from precipice to precipice... just to press another piss!

The goldfish...
The goldfish? etc. etc.
.. is a creature that mucks around in a fountain!

The mountain goat...
etc. etc.
.. is an animal that *ucks around in a mountain!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,CTBurke
Date: 03 Sep 11 - 01:55 PM

I sang this song in the early 1970's with the Phi (Kappa) Psi fraternity at UCLA around the dinner table or at rallies. In the 80's I was a Park Ranger on Angel Island when a "spirit group" came off the boat singing it. I motioned to the leader to let me have a verse, and he did. I did the "Oh-no bird"—the testicles-hanging-lower-than-its-legs, etc. Here I was in full uniform, in public, and making a fool of myself, but loving it. Later still, I made a large model airplane for a historical display, and made the "nose art" a large, black "Oh-no bird" of my own illustration, with inscription. I don't know if anyone ever "got it" that it was from the Wild West Show song.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,Amy
Date: 15 Sep 11 - 03:47 AM

My dad has sung this song for as long as I can remember at our family dinners. It is definately a family tradition and one I would love to carry on with when I have a family of my own. He sung pretty much the same version above with slight variations. I love that you guys have this thread going!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,I-S
Date: 10 Nov 11 - 07:11 PM

I remember singing this at school in Cupar, Fife. Everything was narrated in a fake American showman's accent and each verse had a punchline. E.g. In this cage we have the leo-le-PARD, so called because it has 365 spots, one for each day of the year. No madam that's not a leap year, that's its hole!

After the winky wanky it was - no madam, stop throwing sand in its eyes!

In the version I learned it was the upitsownanus bird. It flew in every decreasing circles until the ineveitable happened.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Bert
Date: 11 Nov 11 - 04:56 PM

I learned it a The Wild Beast Show which makes a little more sense.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 11 Nov 11 - 05:39 PM

Making sense has never been a strong suit for those who sing this song.

And over in this corner, ladies and gentlemen, is Ringmaster Rick Perry (applause)

Who just stepped in a huge pile of foo-shit (applause)

"Rick, how many rings are in your circus?"

"That's a tough question. There's one, two, and ..........." (applause)

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Nov 11 - 02:58 AM

This takes me back to the end of our basic training in the British Army in 1959, when the detested Corporals who had been the bane of our life suddenly became human and introduced us to this song. We also sang the chorus version already given containing 'the elephant and the kangaroo-oo-oo-oo'. Thanks all for recapturing the memory. Brian.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Bert
Date: 14 Nov 11 - 10:28 AM

...Making sense has never been a strong suit for those who sing this song...

I know Charlie, but I thought that the possibility of it being the original version might be of interest to some of the dyed in the wool folkies here.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,pakamac
Date: 10 Aug 12 - 05:46 PM

"And in the next cage ladies and gentlemen, we have the Polar Bear"
" Ooh, ahh, the polar bear. What the f***in' hell is that?"
" One on side of the North pole lives an Englishman who keeps a private school. One th other side of the North pole is a Frenchman who keeps another private school. And right at the North Pole the polar bear slides down a glacier, keepin' 'is own privates cool!"

Oh, we're off ........


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,pylortes
Date: 26 Apr 14 - 10:01 PM

from the old days civil war reenacting and camp fire songs...

the oo-ma-doodle bird, it from the antarctic, is had no legs, and when it come sin for a landing, it says, oo-ma-doodle, oo-ma-doodle..


next we have the mate to the antarctic oo-ma-doodle bird, the Oo-Ah bird.

the Oo-Ah bird lays square eggs, and every time it lays an egg you can hear it say..ooo-ahhh..ooo-ahhh..


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,JTB
Date: 27 Apr 14 - 05:04 PM

I learned this song in the school bus going to our rugger games circa 1963.

Ringmaster: "Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight we have a man who claims he can perform miracles"
Audience: "Jesus Christ!"
Ringmaster: "Right first time, Madam".


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,Wendy
Date: 03 May 14 - 06:53 AM

My parents sung this to us on long car trips in South Africa in the 70's.....


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 03 May 14 - 02:42 PM

A History and analysis of the song, discussing its very long and complex heritage will by the estimable Ed Cray. is scheduled for publication this spring by CAMSCO Music. Watch this space.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,Joe Knight
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 11:08 PM

Learned this song around the drunken campfires of Lake Powell AZ in the 80s.

Don't know how it made the jump from the UK/AS to Western US, but thanks to all who have have passed it on throughout the planet. Amazing how the the refrain/corus has held up though the decades.

Learned many new lyrics tonight that I will add to my archive.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Rog Peek
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 04:40 AM

I don't believe the square crocodile has been mentioned.
The square crocodile?
Yes, the square crocodile....has a square head, square legs, a square arse and he shits bricks!

Rog


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: eftifino
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 09:22 AM

I learnt the intro as follows:

Roll up, roll up! See the Fat Lady standing on the Skinny Man's
COCK your eye over here and see the leopard with the 14 spots on his
MICKEY, close the door there's a draught coming in from the elephant's
HOLE-d your tickets for the next performance please!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,Joe Kitchen
Date: 05 Aug 14 - 06:56 AM

I remember this as 'The Wild Beast Show' while serving with the R.A.F.in India in 1944.

I learned the following:

Next we have the Pfanga Pfanga bird who dives from the highest mountain peaks to the deepest part of the ocean bed to collect sardine farts for spirit levels'


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Lighter
Date: 10 Aug 14 - 09:36 AM

> sardine farts for spirit levels

That *is* funny, Joe.

Do you remember any songs?


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 10 Aug 14 - 10:46 AM

"The Wild West Show--A Tangle of Tales and Titles" (Ed Cray) is now available from CAMSCO Music as the fifth in their series of "Occasional Papers in Folklore" This 147 page book traces the origins and variations of a song that Legman considered to be the oldest bawdy song in current ciculation, with roots extending back to Shakesperean times. Softcover. ($9.95+ S&H)


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