Lyr Add: The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey

Subject: Lyr Add: THE LASSIE WITH THE BLACK HAIRY ASSEY
From: John M.
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 03:47 PM

Hello everyone,

Below is a traditional bawdy song sung to the tune of "Scotland the Brave" titled "The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey" (recording).

Do you sing this song?  If so when/where did you learn it?

If you know this song -- or any bawdy songs -- would you please consider doing a telephone interview with me for folkloristic purposes?   If you would like more information, you can send me an email me at [e-mail]

Any help is appreciated.

Sincerely,

John Mehlberg
~
My, mostly traditional, bawdy songs, toasts and recitations website: www.immortalia.com
~

THE LASSIE WITH THE BLACK HAIRY ASSEY
(Tune - Scotland the Brave)

Here's to the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who was lifting up her kilty at the Gypsies Hash.

Bagpipe sounds:

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah

Then there was the jockey with his upstanding cocky,
Who was riding on the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who was lifting up her kilty at the Gypsies Hash.

(bagpipe)

Then there was the Yankee who was wanking in his hanky,
At the thought of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who was riding on the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who was lifting up her kilty at the Gypsies Hash.

(bagpipe)

Then there was the queerie who was leering through his beery,
At the sight of the Yankee who was wanking in his hanky,
At the thought of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who was riding on the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who was lifting up her kilty at the Gypsies Hash.

(bagpipe)

Then there was the Harlot making money in the car lot,
To support the queerie who was leering through his beery,
At the sight of the Yankee who was wanking in his hanky,
At the thought of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who was riding on the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who was lifting up her kilty at the Gypsies Hash.

(bagpipe)

Then there was the Hasher who was posing as a flasher,
Hustling customers from the Harlot making money in the car lot,
To support the queerie who was leering through his beery,
At the sight of the Yankee who was wanking in his hanky,
At the thought of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who was riding on the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who was lifting up her kilty at the Gypsies Hash.

(bagpipe)

Then there was the Wenchy doing down-downs on a benchy,
Slaking the thirst of the Hasher who was posing as a flasher,
Hustling customers from the Harlot making money in the car lot,
To support the queerie who was leering through his beery,
At the sight of the Yankee who was wanking in his hanky,
At the thought of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who was riding on the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who was lifting up her kilty at the Gypsies Hash.

(bagpipe)

Now the moral of this ditty is when in San Francisco City,
And you're with your favorite girlie, chasing hairs all short and curly,
Just remember to take her hashing and to give her a good bashing,
And to avoid the Wenchy doing down-downs on a benchy,
Making money for the Hasher who was posing as a flasher,
Hustling customers from the Harlot making money in the car lot,
To support the queerie who was leering through his beery,
At the sight of the Yankee who was wanking in his hanky,
At the thought of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who was riding on the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who was lifting up her kilty at the Gypsies Hash.

Notes: Alternate titles are "The Highland Lassie" and "Wee Hairie Bitty".   The version above is transcribed from a recording as sung on 26 April 2004 by Sudsuckin' Bigfoot and Enter the Gerbil, Gypsies in the Palace Hash House Harriers.   The earliest printed version of this song is in the 1945 Mess Hall Songs & Rhymes of the Wartime RAAF (Royal Australian Air Force) mimeographed songbook deposited in the Canberra War Memorial library. 

Recordings:

• Boulevard Records
  • Stag Party
    • The Highland Lassie [1972] Time: 2:06
      
       
• Field Recording - John Mehlberg Collection.
  • Digital Recording - Shut Yer Manhole (aka Little Head) - 2004.10.09
    • Here's To The Lassie With The Black Hairy Assie [Cuts Out Twice, Learned 1990's] Time: 3:26
  • Digital Recording - Sudsuckin' Bigfoot and Enter the Gerbil, Gypsies in the Palace H3 - 2004.04.26
    • Lassie With The Black Hairy Assie [Learned 1990s] Time: 2:35
  • Digital Recording - Tom "Fuk Stik" Tarka - 2004.05.07
    • Lassie With The Black Hairy Assie [Learned 1990s] Time: 0:50

.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: Once Famous
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 04:01 PM

And people complain of what I write about?

So if it's a traditional bawdy song, is doesn't matter if it's in bad taste, right?

In America, you can find stuff like this written on the bathroom walls.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 05:14 PM

... as indeed with the content of some pos(t)ers complaining about this stuff which is a part of cultural history...

Subject: Lyr Add: THE HIGHLAND LASSIE
From: John M.
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 05:36 PM

The digital tradition database SHOULD have these songs as they are what people have sung and will continue to sing (usually while quite drunk!)

If you think that this song is an American production, here is a text of this song from the 1972 STAG PARTY record in England:

THE HIGHLAND LASSIE
[tune - Scotland the Brave]

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh.

Once I saw a lassie with a fine hairy belly
Who was lifting up her skirty at her grandfather's ball.

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh. Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh.

Then I saw a laddie with a fine upstanding dickey
Who was trying to fuck the lassie with the fine hairy belly
Who was lifting up her skirty at her grandfather's ball.

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh. Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh.

Then I saw a laddie with a fine pair of goggles
Who was looking at the laddie with the fine upstanding dickey
Who was trying to fuck the lassie with the fine hairy belly
Who was lifting up her skirty at her grandfather's ball.

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh. Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh.

Then I saw a wifey with a fine carvey knifey
Who was going to have the balls off of the laddie with the
goggles
Who was looking at the laddie with the fine upstanding dickey
Who was trying to fuck the lassie with the fine hairy belly
Who was lifting up her skirty at her grandfather's ball.

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh. Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh.

Then I saw the wifey and she had no carvey knifey
But she had the pair of balls off the laddie with the goggles
Who was looking at the laddie with the fine upstanding dickey
Who was trying to fuck the lassie with the fine hairy belly
Who was lifting up her skirty at her grandfather's ball.

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh. Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 07:10 PM

I am trying (mentally) to fit the tune of Scotland the Brave to the above "lyrics", and finding it damn near impossible.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 07:48 PM

the 'hashers' don't seem to care about meter, rhyme or scansion....all it needs to be is loud & obscene...*grin*...I have seen versions of GOOD traditional bawdy songs on 'hasher' websites stretched, re-written and ruined trying to make them gross enough to suit...

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 08:32 PM

So thats where you need to go for your research, Martin's bathroom apparently.......how very odd.

Got to admit the thread title was irresistible.

So presumably it was a song the Australian airmen were singing during the war....maybe to wind up their Scottish comrades? One can only guess.

I'd never heard it before.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 08:55 PM

you will also find a copy in the rugby song thread

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: mack/misophist
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 09:17 PM

Having been in several public loos in the US - after all, I am a native - I can attest that nothing on those walls was ever this clever. Sad, really.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 04:54 AM

You can imagine some Oz airmen stationed somewhere in the arse end of nowhere, Scotland, winding up the local Presbyterians with something like this....virtually the Scottish national anthem.

I was thinking about it after reading it - thats my guess.

Lets face it Crocodile Dundee was only a very watered down for the tourists version of the real Earls Court/rub the poms noses in it/in your face sledging, that we all know and love.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: pavane
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 08:16 AM

What is considered 'tasteless' varies both with cultures and over time within a single culture. Robert Burns is well known for having collected and also having written bawdy songs, such as "Nine Inch will please a Lady".

There are examples in the Bodleian library of printed broadsheets containing songs that were presumably considered acceptable in the 17th century, but not today.

For a very mild example, there is an early version of Basket of Eggs, "The country girl's policy: or, The Cockney outwitted" dated C1700, which ends with the words

"If she has but the wit to take care of her twat
She may pass for a maid again"

Similarly, Pills to Purge Melancholy has songs such as Tenement to let
'I have a tenement to let, its name is Cunny Hall"

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 12:47 PM

You must check with Bob Sukiel -- from Kansas City I think. He's one of the Rose Tattoo gang along with Mark Ross, Utah and the rest.

Bob has one of the most unique repertoire of these songs I've ever come across. (pun intended.)

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: Once Famous
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 12:57 PM

This is a stupid song.

Folk music at it's worse.

says a lot about gutteral British culture.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 01:09 PM

John - what a load of old rubbish - can't you find anything more productive to do with your time? Martin, I think it is actually gutteral Scottish culture. Anyway, you can find songs like this any country. Peace.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: GUEST,David Ingerson
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 05:27 PM

As far as I can see (or hear), there are no gutterals in either of the songs.

David

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 06:26 PM

is what is

just another niche

Art

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 06:46 PM

I think a singer of such a song would have a pretty thin time of it in an English folk club.

There is one chap who sings these songs at local club, but they only let him on very late when the majority of the audience have gone home.
and even then there are complaints,but nobody wants to be intolerant.

Having said that, a man with such a song in his repertoire would have been belle of the ball at the post match celebrations of my college rugby team. Mind you that was 40 years ago - perhaps rugby teams are more refined these days.

Subject: Lyr Add: WEE HAIRIE BITTY
From: John M.
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 07:05 PM

Here is the earliest version I have of this song from pg 76 of a 1945 mimeographed songbook titled Mess Hall Songs & Rhymes of the RAAF (Royal Australian Air Force)".

I believe that this song is much older but I don't have any other references.

Yours,

John Mehlberg
~

WEE HAIRIE BITTY
[Tune not indicated]

There once was a lassie wi' a wee hairy bitty
Who was huddin' up her clovers at her ain father's ball.

And then there was a laddie wi' a big stormy cocky
Who was gang up the lassie wi' a wee hairy bitty
Who was huddin' up her clovers at her ain father's ball.

And then there was a mannie wi' a pair of speein' glasses
Who was speein' on the laddie wi' a big stormy cocky
Who was gang up the lassie wi' a wee hairy bitty
Who was huddin' up her clovers at her ain father's ball.

And then there was a mannie wi' a big curvy knifie
Who was gang to stab the mannie wi' a pair of speein' glasses
Who was speein' on the laddie wi' a big stormy cocky
Who was gang up the lassie wi' a wee hairy bitty
Who was huddin' up her clovers at her ain father's ball.

And then there was a p'licey wi' a piar of hand-cuffers who
Who was gang to cuff the mannie wi' a big curvy knifie
Who was gang to stab the mannie wi' a pair of speein' glasses
Who was speein' on the laddie wi' a big stormy cocky
Who was gang up the lassie wi' a wee hairy bitty
Who was huddin' up her clovers at her ain father's ball.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: Lighter
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 07:46 PM

Shouldn't "gang" be "gaein'"? Shouldn't "who" be "that"? What's "clovers" mean?

In other words, this sounds to me like an Ozzie approximation of a Scots original. Whut say ye 'Catters ayont the Tweed? I been wrong afore!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: Wolfgang
Date: 11 Dec 04 - 05:22 PM

Folk music at it's worse.
MG at he's better.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 11 Dec 04 - 05:38 PM

That Scottish version is terrific. ...love it.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: Wolfgang
Date: 11 Dec 04 - 06:04 PM

Folk music at it's worse.
MG at he's better.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Asse
From: GUEST,Sandy Paton
Date: 11 Dec 04 - 10:44 PM

John: At a Philadelphia Festival manyyears ago, iwas sitting on a hillside with a well-known Scottish singer, now resident in the US, who may prefer to remain anonymous, when some group on the stage began playing "Scotland the Brave." My Scottish friend immediately launched into:
    There was a lassie wi' a big hairy bessie
    Wha was drivin' her auld faither's coo tae the bull.
   
    There was a laddie wi' a big steamin' tattie (potato)
    Wha was goin' tae shag the lassie wi' the big hairy bessie
    Wha was drivin' her auld faither's coo tae the bull.

I no longer remember all of the words (it's not a song I think of often enough to keep it fresh in my mind), but the verses that followed had the wifie wi' the big carving knifie, and so on, accumulatively. I can check with my "informant", if you'd like, to see if he would be willing to contribute this version to you collection. No discernible Australian influence here.
    Sandy

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: Lighter
Date: 11 Dec 04 - 11:43 PM

Sandy: Please check! : )

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 01:31 PM

I don't remember where I first heard this, but it was over 30 years ago, when the only 'PC' was a police constable.
Apologies to Harry Lauder and anyone easily offended.

I love a lassie,
A black Madrassi lassie
She's as sweet as the heather in the glen.
She's a face as black as charcoal
And whistles through her asshole
And whistles Scottish love songs
Mary my black eyed girl.

Nigel

Subject: Lyr Add: THE LASSIE WI' A WEE HAIRY BOTTIE
From: John M.
Date: 12 Jul 05 - 12:08 PM

Here is another version of this song as learned while playing rugby in England in 1945.
~

To the tune of "Scotland the Brave"

"Wa-a-h" (etc)

I saw a lassie wi' a wee hairy bottie
Who were heldin' up her skirties to her ane father's balls

"Wa-a-a" (etc) et continuum

I saw a monny wi ' a braw upstandin' cockie
Who were gangin' up the Lassie wi' a wee hairy bottie
Who were heldin' up her skirties to her ane father's balls

"Wa-a-a" (etc) et continuum

I saw a monny wi' a daw greaty carver
Who were goin' to stab the monny wi' a braw upstandin' cockie

Who were gangin' up the Lassie wi' a wee hairy bottie
Who were heldin' up her skirties to her ane father's balls

"Wa-a-a" (etc) et continuum

I saw a monny wi' a wee pair o' glasses
Who were kleekin' at the monnie wi' a daw greaty carver
Who were goin' to stab the monny wi' a braw upstandin' cockie

Who were gangin' up the Lassie wi' a wee hairy bottie
Who were heldin' up her skirties to her ane father's balls

"Wa-a-a" (etc) et continuum

I saw a polis wi' a pair o' handie cuffies
Who were goin' t' 'rest the monnie wi' a wee pair o' glasses
Who were kleekin' at the monnie wi' the daw greaty carver
Who were goin' to stab the monnie wi' a braw upstandin' cockie
Who were gangin' up the lassie wi a wee hairy bottie
Who were heldin' up her skirties to her ane father's balls

(Wha-a-ah etc)

Notes:  According to my informant, "The song is always accompanied with appropriate choreography. The bagpipe chorus is of course sung by holding your nose and pumping the elbow.  It is of course a satirical parody of Edinburgh Police procedures of the 18th century." 

My informant believes that in Edinburgh in the 18th century being a "Peeping Tom" was a more reprehensible crime than attempted murder and that this song is a commentary on that skewed sense of propriety.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: Lighter
Date: 12 Jul 05 - 09:29 PM

The song may as easily have started in British India. A "Madrasi" (or "Madrasee") is the ordinary word for someone from Madras, a major seaport.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Asse
From: GUEST,Martin Wheeler
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 01:25 PM

My father returned home from wartime service with the Army in India, with a large repertoire of bawdy mess-hall ballads.

Thus before 1950, I was well aware of :

"I love a lassie
A great big black Madrassi ..."

But unfortunately never learned any of the verses beyond that.
--

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: Schantieman
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 01:33 PM

Well done Wolfgang!

It obviously takes a non-native speaker (or a pedant like me) to spot the grammatical errors ;-)

As far as the songs are concerned I don't imagine any of them would be sung at many filk clubs - or even Rugby clubs - nowadays. I'm pretty certain that Rugby clubs, if the rest of society is anything to go by, are particularly refined, either!   They certainly weren't when I used to play - and lead the singing.

Steve

Subject: Lyr Add: WEE WILLY WANKY (PG13)
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Jul 08 - 11:43 AM

Since we have a version from the USA, England, and Australia, here is a version of this song from Scotland. Specifically below is a variant from the Edinburgh University Hockey Club.

WEE WILLY WANKY

There once was a lassy with a broad hairy assy,
Singing na, na, na-na-na,
Na, na, na, na, na-na-na,
Na, na, na, na, na-na-na,
Na, na, na-na, na-na.

Then there's the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who's shagging the lassy with the broad hairy assy,
Singing na, na, na-na-na!

Wee Willy Wanky, he was wanking in his hanky
At the sight of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who was shagging the lassy with the broad hairy assy,
Singing na, na, na-na-na!

Rover the hound was chewing at the mound
Of wee Willy Wanky, who was wanking in his hanky
At the sight of the jockey with the upstanding cocky
Who was shagging the lassy with the broad hairy assy,
Singing na, na, na-na-na!

Then there was Tracy, who was sitting on the facey,
Of Rover the hound, who was chewing at the mound
Of wee Willy Wanky, who was wanking in his hanky
At the sight of the jockey, with the upstanding cocky,
Who was shagging the lassy with the broad hairy assy,
Singing na, na, na-na-na!

Then there was Roger, who was sticking his todger,
In the ear of the Tracy, who was sitting on the facey
Of Rover the hound, who was chewing on the mound
Of wee Willy Wanky, who was wanking in his hanky
At the sight of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who was shagging the lassy with the broad hairy assy,
Singing na, na, na-na-na!

The heavenly maiden, who was heavenly laden,
She was tossing off Roger who was sticking his todger,
In the ear of the Tracy, who was sitting on the facey,
Of Rover the hound who was chewing at the mound
Of wee Willy Wanky, who was wanking in his hanky
At the sight of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who was shagging the lassy with the broad hairy assy,
Singing na, na, na-na-na!

The monk with the erection, was giving clitoral inspection
To the heavenly maiden, who was heavenly laden,
She was tossing off Roger, who was sticking his todger,
In the ear of the Tracy who was sitting on the facey
Of Rover the hound, who chewing at the mound
Of wee Willy Wanky, who was wanking in his hanky
At the sight of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who was shagging the lassy with the broad hairy assy,
Singing na, na, na-na-na!

The vicar in his spectacles was tickling the testicles,
Of the monk with the erection giving clitoral inspection,
To the heavenly maiden, who was heavenly laden,
Who was tossing off Roger, who was sticking his todger
In the ear, of the Tracy, who was sitting on the facey,
Of Rover the hound who was chewing at the mound
Of wee Willy Wanky, who was wanking in his hanky
At the sight of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who was shagging the lassy with the broad hairy assy.
Singing na, na, na-na-na!

Cardinal Joff was cracking one off
At the vicar in his spectacles, who was tickling the testicles
Of the monk with the erection giving clitoral inspection,
To the heavenly maiden, who was heavenly laden,
Who was tossing off Roger, who was sticking his todger
In the ear of the Tracy, who was sitting on the facey,
Of Rover the hound, who was chewing at the mound,
Of wee Willy Wanky, who was wanking in his hanky
At the sight of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who was shagging the lassy with the broad hairy assy,
Singing na, na, na-na-na!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: GUEST,J Hanley
Date: 12 Apr 11 - 02:43 PM

Aw, the weans! My father knew this ditty (more or less) as a child in the twenties. He found it very hard to put it to the back of his mind in the fifties when asked, by Robert Wilson, to write lyrics to a new orchestrated version of Scotland the Brave.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: Jack Campin
Date: 12 Apr 11 - 07:19 PM

You're Cliff Hanley's son?

I couldn't see how the tune and the dates could match.

"Scotland the Brave", as a tune, goes back to the 1880s. But as far as I know nobody used it for a published song until Hamish Henderson used it for the "John Maclean March" in 1946. The familiar song was by Cliff Hanley, from 1948.

Were there any unfilthy words for StB in the 20s?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: Ross Campbell
Date: 12 Apr 11 - 07:48 PM

Cliff Hanley's "Dancing in the Street" put a lot of things in perspective for me when I discovered it more than forty years ago. Used to enjoy his column in the "Citizen" (?) The thought of him trying to repress some of the above while trying to get into composer mode brings a smile. Thanks for that, J Hanley.

My Red Duster colleague Ron Baxter (Sailor Ron on Mudcat) has a version of Nigel Parsons' contribution (12 Dec 04) above, which he remembers from his time with Clan Line, late '60s, early '70s:-

"I love a lassie, a bonny black Madrassie,
She's as black as the livin' hobs of Hell.
She's as black as charcoal, and she schaferell's (sic) her arsehole
With a chota Kala Pani from the well"

I've never been able to find any etymology for "schaferell", but the context suggests "washes out" would be a reasonable substitution.

"a chota Kala Pani" means "a little fresh water". Clan Line ships had British officers, Indian crew, so officers routinely learned many Hindustani expressions in order to get work done.

Ross

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey'
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 13 Apr 11 - 04:55 AM

Late to this thread: but what the hell...

In my first year at Christ's College, Cambridge (1952-53), there was a distinct Scottish group, prominent among whom were a piper called Jim Gilfellan, who died a few years ago, and a Scots Nationalist Glawegian called Alistair Anderson-Scott [who would always declare Glasgow the true capital of Scotland ~~ "Edinburgh? ~ no-but an ootpost o' English imperialism!"]: he went down after a year to read Forestry at another university and I don't know what happened to him after that.

Anyhow, they loved singing this song; and their version always began "There once was a lassie wi' a wee hairy bessie, Who was lifting up her skirties at the Hieland Ball." The lyric then proceeded much as above.

I think this variant worth recording, as I haven't come across the word "bessie" (or perhaps "bessy" ~ I only had it orally) used in this connection elsewhere SFAIR: Partridge's Slang Dictionary doesn't include it, and googling produced no comparable usage. Anyone else know it?

~Michael~

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey
From: GUEST,Jim Guy
Date: 19 May 15 - 03:53 AM

I heard this version in 1970 in Melbourne (Australia, not Florida!). "big hairy Tassie" gives it away as Australian: Tassie is Tasmania in colloquial Australian and the map of Tasmania is... the map of Tassie! en.wiktionary.org/wiki/map_of_Tassie

Now for what I can remember of the song.

1. Along came the lassie
with the big hairy Tassie
who was holding the dressie
for the whole world to see.

2. Along came the mannie
with the big standing uppie
who was going to fuck le lassie
with the big hairy Tassie
who was holding the dressie
for the whole world to see

3. Along came the mannie
with the big glassie-glassie
who was going to spy on the mannie
with the big standing uppie
who was going to fuck the lassie
with the big hairy Tassie
who was holding the dressie
for the whole world to see

4. Along came the mannie
with the big starrie-starrie
who arrested the mannie
who was going to spy on the mannie
with the big glassie-glassie
who was going to spy on the mannie
with the big standing uppie
who was going to fuck the lassie
with the big hairy Tassie
who was holding the dressie
for the whole world to see



The song was accompanied by gestures:
1. "hairy Tassie": turn around as if holding up dress and displaying the "map of Tasmania" from all angles

2. "mannie with standing uppie, fuck the lassie": self explanatory!

3. mannie with glassie-glassie: adjusting an imaginary eyeglass as if looking in the distance

4. describe a circle around imaginary policeman's star and grab man from behind by the shoulder

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Lassie with the Black Hairy Assey
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 19 May 15 - 04:30 AM

"The Gypsey Hash" noted in Mahlberg' s first example refers to the San Francisco bay area Hash House Harrier group known as " Gypsies In the Palace."


www.gypsiesh3.com

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

I have heard from a past Grand Master about a road trip....where "everything going on at the back of the bus was old testament."