BS: Immutable Truths

Subject: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 19 Sep 05 - 01:44 PM

Some things are beyond discussion.

For example:

Sandwiches taste better when sliced on the diagonal.

Any others?

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Shambles
Date: 19 Sep 05 - 01:49 PM

There is no accounting for taste.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: jeffp
Date: 19 Sep 05 - 01:54 PM

You can't bend a potato chip (crisp).

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 10:01 AM

Don't fix it if it ain't broke.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: bobad
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 10:13 AM

It ain't over 'till it's over.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Pied Piper
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 10:15 AM

Life's a rum do, and there's nawt s' queer as folk.

PP

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 10:18 AM

Banjo players spend 75% of their time tuning, and 25% playing out of tune.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Sorcha
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 10:24 AM

Bill, I thought that was harpers and lutenists? LOL

Never wake a sleeping baby
Don't pull a wild cat's tail

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 10:24 AM

The most desperate prayer in the world is:

"Please, no, I can't need a plumber...."

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: John Hardly
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 10:31 AM

It's always in the last place you look... ...unless you look there first.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Partridge
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 10:33 AM

Never shove yer granny when she's shaving

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 10:41 AM

Chocolate cake tastes better in the hand than on the fork. So do tomatoes.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 11:03 AM

If you eat cake off your spouse's plate, it doesn't have any calories.

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 11:11 AM

"Don't do too good of a job, folks will begin to expect it"

                  Talkin' John, the old carpenter, 1967

he was SO right!

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: JennyO
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 11:20 AM

And further to Jerry's post - broken biscuits don't have any calories either.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 11:33 AM

Always borrow money from a pessimist: he won't expect to get it back.

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 11:39 AM

Hammers will always fall upon your foot, and sandwiches on the buttered side.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Paul Burke
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 11:39 AM

Learn plumbing, Bunnahabhain, it's easy and it's fun if you steer clear of the gas (oh, and try not to light the furniture).

There's many a slip twixt gully and keeper.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Crystal
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 12:18 PM

I will be able to offer you any assistance, short of actual help!

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Shambles
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 12:18 PM

There's many a slip twixt gully and keeper.
Who said that - was it Shane Warne?

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: katlaughing
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 12:26 PM

Children will talk back; some pets will, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Grab
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 12:40 PM

Sandwiches taste better when sliced on the diagonal.

...but they're more filling when sliced horizontally. And slicing a sandwich vertically is just, well, icky!

Hammers will always fall upon your foot

Bartlett's Maximum Impact Hypothesis says that this is true *unless* there's something far more valuable or fragile within range.

My immutable truth - anyone can dance like Michael Flatley. All you need to do is have bare feet and drop a sharp knife, chisel, hammer, etc by accident.

Graham.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Sorcha
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 12:51 PM

No fixed pitch instrument is ever in tune with any other fixed pitch instrument

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 01:08 PM

A little pain never hurt anybody. (What my sister once said.)

A little change is good for everybody. (What I'd like to see posted on a donations can)

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 01:51 PM

Never gamble with a man called Doc
Never eat at a place called Mom's
Never go to bed with anyone crazier than you.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 03:18 PM

Don't step on Superman's cape or piss into the wind.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Don Firth
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 03:41 PM

Lucy was watching as Charlie Brown spread peanut butter on a slice of bread. When it was evenly distributed, he took the knife and started to cut it. Lucy shouted, "Don't cut it! Don't cut it!" She grabbed it up from the counter, folded it over, and as she walked away from a startled Charlie Brown and was about to bite into it, she said, "If you cut them, it spoils the flavor!"

By the way:   never slap someone who's chewing tobacco.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 03:55 PM

You don't tug on Superman's Cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off the ol' Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Jim!

Never tell the truth to a pregnant woman when she asks if she looks like a hippopotamus!
(16 years and I still have the bruise!)

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 04:06 PM

"It'll feel better when it quits hurtin'."

                   my Daddy

(yes, I know it's just a tautology, but when Daddy said it to us kids it helped)

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 04:12 PM

People in hell want ice water. (According to my mother.)

It's never to late to mutate.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: GUEST,ron
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 04:23 PM

A waist is a terrible thing to mind

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: kendall
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 04:38 PM

If God had wanted us to be naked, we would be born that way.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: greg stephens
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 04:51 PM

I only just found out this one, and it's pretty useful
   If food's been on the floor less than 5 seconds, it hasn't had time to pick up any germs.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 05:06 PM

You can't tell a cat what to do.

( You know what I mean. You can, but it won't do you any good...)

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 05:10 PM

Americans are stupid

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 05:13 PM

Welcome to the fold, Guest.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 05:14 PM

ah, yes...the 5 second rule! Quite popular these days.....

" you avoid making mistakes through experience, you only get experience through making mistakes"

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 05:17 PM

If what you put into the food when you fix it is nontoxic, the result will be nontoxic. Unpalatable, perhaps, but it won't kill you.

GUESTs are usually highly opinionated cowards.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Susu's Hubby
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 05:20 PM

An elevator smells different to a midget.



Hubby

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: GUEST,DB
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 05:30 PM

Never eat yellow snow.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Sorcha
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 07:50 PM

Won't last 5 seconds around here! Dogs will get it!

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Sorcha
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 07:51 PM

Humans are stupid.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 07:53 PM

"science has finally discovered the missing link between early primates and civilized man.......it's us!"

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: GUEST,lurker
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 07:56 PM

A Brief History of the World, by Norman Thomas

"Since Adam and Eve ate the apple, mankind has never refrained from doing anything of which it was capable."

(photo of a mushroom cloud followed the quote).

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: John O'L
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 08:07 PM

"If we don't learn from the mistakes of history we are doomed to repeat them" - or something like that.

Has any leader ever "learned from the mistakes of history"?

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Chris Green
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 08:29 PM

It is better to copulate than never.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Chris Green
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 08:34 PM

And also from my own experience of teaching kids aged 3-11. The larger the audience, the bigger the laugh on uttering the word "poo". (Or "bum", for that matter)

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bobert
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 08:42 PM

People don't change, they just get more so...

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 08:42 PM

Dem Bones, Dem Bones, gonna rise again...

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: pdq
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 08:43 PM

If God intended us to play the piano, He'd have given us 88 fingers!

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 08:47 PM

No, no, no!

You aren't supposed to push them all at once, you fool!

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Peace
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 08:50 PM

If you toss a coin and have bet either heads or tails, it will likely not land and stay on the edge.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 09:43 PM

Americans are stupid? Really? I wonder how they got to be the greatest country in the world...hhmmm

Those who speak in absolutes are the stupid ones.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: pdq
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 09:50 PM

Actually, anyone who speaks in absolutes is always wrong.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: John Hardly
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 09:53 PM

Never ask a woman if she is pregnant unless she is actually currently in the process of giving birth. -Dave Barry

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 10:32 PM

"marry or don't...either way, you will regret it"

..............Socrates

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 10:36 PM

"There's no such thing as a free lunch." When it comes to "free" beware the hidden costs...

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 11:09 PM

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

Stephen Lee

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 11:25 PM

Too much of ANYTHING isn't good for you.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: dianavan
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 02:03 AM

It doesn't work to leap a 20-foot chasm in two 10-foot jumps.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 02:12 AM

The time to sell an old truck is while it's still runnin

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Shambles
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 06:59 AM

Reality is just for those who cannot face-up to taking drugs.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 07:33 AM

It's a small world, unless YOU have to paint it.

DT

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: bobad
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 07:56 AM

Life is bad enough, reality is ten times worse.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 10:54 AM

Trickle down anything doesn't!

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Paul Burke
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 11:12 AM

You can't push on a rope.

You get no bread with one meatball.

Everybody is different, except you.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: beardedbruce
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 11:14 AM

"My joy would be complete, dear,
If you were only here."

(next line NOT needed)

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 11:57 AM

"If wishes were horses, beggars would ride"



-------------------------------------------
"The time to sell an old truck is while it's still runnin"
durn, Leej...now you tell me! I got this 77 El Camino and it.......

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 12:07 PM

Well, Bill...how much you want for it? You got a tow-strap?

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 12:28 PM

I don't got a tow strap (and technically, it is a GMC Sprint...you know, like Rolls-Royce-Bentley) It was running last year, but the battery is now discharged, but 'probably' good..... and the body has rust....does have 4 almost new tires (like 20 miles on 'em!)...I'd take $300 right now.

I thought my kid was gonna drive the thing, but he never got around to learning to drive yet.....

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: kendall
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 12:39 PM

Reality is an illusion brought on by the lack of booze.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 12:59 PM

"It's been sittin here so long (31/2 years), and I was gonna get her battery jumped(but I was afraid if it actually started, one of the thrown rods might come through the crankcase), but I finally realized the wife didn't want to drive it because it's a stick (and because the clutch is blown). I believe the fuel pump needs to be replaced(along with the rest of the motor), but other than that, she should run alright (for about 23 minutes). I want 350 for her (if you are a complete idiot), but I'd settle for 300 (90 dollars). If you give me a hand (and the cash up front) we could push it down the drive and start it (or not). How far from here (hopefully you're downhill, and far enough so it's too much trouble to tow it back) do you live ?"

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: GUEST,Chanteyranger
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 01:36 PM

Guest lurker, that History of the World was by Bertrand Russell, not Norman Thomas. A great quote in any case.

Chanteyranger

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 04:42 PM

LOL..Leej...yeah, all that!
We drove it around the neighborhood last summer when the kid across the street thought he wanted it, but he spent his money....I haven't tried since, and now I wouldn't trust the dry seals too far...

Aren't you in Colorado? I'm afraid I'm in Maryland.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: beardedbruce
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 04:46 PM

BillD,

I might be interested, if we could only find that welder...

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 05:25 PM

welder? As in machine or person?....

whatever...but I'm determined not to let it sit here another winter. An THAT'S an immutable truth.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: John O'L
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 05:59 PM

To the young and reckless, the sound of one hand clapping can easily be confused with the sound of one hand peeling a banana.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Chris Green
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 08:29 PM

Life IS a bed of roses, but sooner or later you'll fall flat on your arse. Then the best thing to do is to pull the thorns out and get on with it.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 22 Sep 05 - 06:39 PM

In this wicked world we live in,
There is one thing life can teach,
Once a girl is born a lemon,
She can never be a peach.

But this life has compensations,
Something that I always preach,
You can always squeeze a lemon,
Ever tried to squeeze a peach?

DT.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Partridge
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 04:06 AM

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: John O'L
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 04:09 AM

...or failing that, put off until the day after tomorrow.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 07:11 AM

Remember that today is yesterday's tomorrow.

So, hop to it!

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: GUEST,clogger
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 07:34 AM

previewing messages svves spelling nistakes

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: GUEST,clogger
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 07:36 AM

Oh yes and...
Perversity tends toward a maximum

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: frogprince
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 02:53 PM

The dumber the premise...










the longer the thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Don Firth
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 03:06 PM

AMEN!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: pdq
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 03:26 PM

Questionable data can be made more impressive by carrying all numbers out to four significant figures.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Shambles
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 03:30 PM

The longer the thread.







The more times it has been contributed to.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 07:49 PM

The longer the thread.







The more times it has been pulled.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: JennyO
Date: 24 Sep 05 - 10:53 AM

And the higher the fewer...

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Sep 05 - 12:34 PM

Today is the last day of the first part of your life!


The glass in neither half empty or half full...it is the wrong size glass.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Sep 05 - 07:20 PM

It's not the wrong size glass,
it's the wrong size beer!

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: John O'L
Date: 24 Sep 05 - 07:41 PM

The higher the fewer

My dad used to say that. I once asked him what it meant and he told me 'Ah, it's just a silly thing to say.'
He also used to say 'Well, if that's lunch, I've had it.'

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Shambles
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 07:03 AM

If things do not change - they will remain the same.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: John O'L
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 07:11 AM

If you can keep your head when all around you are losing theirs you'll be the tallest one in the crowd.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 08:26 AM

If you can keep your head when all around you are panicking and losing theirs, then obviously you haven't got a damn clue just what is going on.

(What really happened with George & Katrina!)

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Barden of England
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 08:35 AM

It ain't all over 'til the fat bastard snores.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Shambles
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 08:35 AM

If the world's current population were to join hands and stretch around the earth - an awful lot of them would drown.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 11:12 AM

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

The crow of a hen and the whistle of a woman calls the devil from his lair...Nana Sullivan

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: JennyO
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 11:19 AM

John, I know the one your dad used to say too. Maybe it's just an Australian thang.

Meanwhile, nothing changes until it becomes what it is......


Which is 100 posts :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 01:04 PM

higgamus hoggaus
woman's monogamous
hoggamus higgamus
man is polygamous

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: pdq
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 01:09 PM

Bugs look bigger after they hit your windshield.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Don Firth
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 01:09 PM

If you can keep your head when all around you are losing theirs, they you're the only one who doesn't understand what's happening!   

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Metchosin
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 01:30 PM

It is better to have been loved and lost, than never to have been lost at all.

Wherever you go, there you are.

Where there's folks, there's mire.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Amos
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 02:44 PM

Ya go someplace, you don't stay there long.

(The unofficial motto of the potsmoking community of Shimer College in 1962).

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 03:08 PM

When you find yourself on a highway and all the traffic is coming toward you, you have to ask yourself if they know something you don't.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Shambles
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 04:57 PM

If you can keep your head when all around you are losing theirs - you have yet to meet Madame Guillotine.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: frogprince
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 07:28 PM

No matter how hard you shake it,
No matter how much you squeeze,
You'll always find that one last drop
gets in your bvds.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: John O'L
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 07:40 PM

...or

No matter how you jump and dance
The last few drops go down your pants

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 01:24 AM

Just re-read my post above, and found to my complete despair that I mis-spelled "Hoggamus" in the first line.

There's a rather interesting story about that little verse. Aldous Huxley was among the first experimenters with LSD. During an early trip Huxley was struck with sudden inspiration, scribbled something on a scrap of paper, and stuck it in the pocket of his overcoat. Several days later, Huxley suddenly recalled this moment of pure understanding, rushed to the coat-rack, and discovered the above cited poem.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Shambles
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 02:12 AM

Reality is only for those who can't face drugs.

*Smiles*

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 06:55 AM

Art (this includes Music) is for those who can't handle reality.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Moses
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 07:56 AM

If you are trying to repair your car/clock/washing machine and you accidently drop an important and vital part, it will ALWAYS decend to the least accessible place.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: bobad
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 10:01 AM

Work is the curse of the drinking man.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Dead Horse
Date: 27 Sep 05 - 03:17 AM

You can lead a horse to water, but man is still a dogs best friend!
And two things I learned in the military.....
1.Never upset the pay staff or the cook.
2.If you want to be totally invisible, walk around with a pen and note pad in hand while appearing to "check" things :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: JennyO
Date: 27 Sep 05 - 03:45 AM

It's a wise crow that knows which way the camel points.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Paul Burke
Date: 27 Sep 05 - 03:51 AM

When things go wrong and will not come right,
Though you do the best you can,
When life looks black as the hour of night -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: gnomad
Date: 27 Sep 05 - 05:16 AM

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it do backstroke.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Shambles
Date: 27 Sep 05 - 05:52 AM

You very rarely manage to tread walked-in tread dogshit all over an old carpet...........

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 29 Sep 05 - 03:15 AM

And two things I learned in the military.....
1.Never upset the pay staff or the cook.
2.If you want to be totally invisible, walk around with a pen and note pad in hand while appearing to "check" things :-)

I don't think 2 advisable - you might get redirected to another task (own experience). A really foolproof method is recommended by my friend Don Pedro (a real Ph.D., oriental languages), Pte, retd: Dip your hand into the waste oil barrel and grab a spanner. No superior will think of giving you additional orders - you are too dirty for the job.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Crystal
Date: 29 Sep 05 - 06:45 AM

I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it and you can't prove anything!

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: frogprince
Date: 29 Sep 05 - 08:44 PM

not absolutely certain of this, but I think the thread list for Sept. 28th is the shortest for any day on which the 'cat was awake at any time...

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: GUEST,DB
Date: 30 Sep 05 - 05:59 PM

A bloke I used to work with, years ago, used to say: "you never know your luck until a dead horse kicks you".

I suppose he had a point ... ?

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Shambles
Date: 30 Sep 05 - 06:18 PM

This IS a job for Superman.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: frogprince
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 07:57 PM

In the U.S.Navy, everyone shares at least one nickname in common.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 08:13 PM

an immutable conundrum from my father:

"If you were carrying all the feathers you could carry, could you carry one more?"