Not a joke as such, but today at the Morrisons checkout (I was buying, er, several bottles of wine...), the lady doing the checkout told me she'd thought of doing dry January but had changed her mind. "Excellent," said I, "It's a very silly idea anyway!"

She said she'd decided to do "dry Lent" instead. I had to inform her of that thing she hadn't thought about, that January has only 31 days whereas Lent has forty days and forty nights. She went all quiet on me. I'll be back tomorrow to see whether she's altered her thinking... :-)

(I forgot to get mozzarella anyway!)