This song was recorded by Irene Franklin on an Edison Blue Amberol cylinder, #950, in 1911, which you can hear at YouTube.

Lyrics below copied from the sheet music at Baylor University:


Public performing rights positively restricted and reserved exclusively for Miss Irene Franklin.
I’VE GOT THE MUMPS
Words and music by Irene Franklin and Burt Green, writers of “REDHEAD.” ©1909.

1. I ain’t been to school now for most a week.
I’ve got a big lump on my left-hand cheek.
Teacher said not to come back again till the Doctor made it better.
Ma said, “Oh! what ails my child? His face is full of lumps.”
Pa look’d at me and said, “Be Jinks! our angel has the mumps!”

CHORUS 1: I’ve got the mumps; I’ve got the mumps.
Ma gives me a quarter, says, “Don’t tell Pa.”
Pa gives me a dime, an’ says, “Don’t tell Ma.”
I never knew I was so popular
Till I got the mumps.

2. I got a big sister ’ats nice to me.
Las’ week, when we had lots of company,
She never told mother why she couldn’t find the pie Ma baked for dinner. [Spoken:] It was awful good pie.
I try hard to be nice to her; she nurses all my bumps.
Last year I gave her the measles and this year she’ll get the mumps!

CHORUS 2: I’ve got the mumps; I’ve got the mumps.
No spankings or school till I’m well again.
Don’t get up for breakfast till nearly ten.
For a nickle I’ll rub up agin you, an’ then,
You’ll have the mumps.

3. Say, all of the kids has been up to see
The nasty brown stuff Mama rubs on me.
I charge ’em four pins for to look at it, and five pins for to smell it.
Johnnie Jones he is so mad, I took him down a peg.
He’s been putting on so much style because he broke his leg.
But—

CHORUS 3: I’ve got the mumps; I’ve got the mumps.
I wish I could have ’em for years and years.
The cook feeds me jam till I get all smears,
And mother don’t scrub me behind the ears,
Since I’ve got the mumps.