I’VE STILL GOT MY HEALTH
(Cole Porter, ©1940)
Originally sung by Ethel Merman in the musical comedy, Panama Hattie" (stage version, 1940), and in the 1942 film by Ann Sothern [YouTube].

I. As recorded by Ethel Merman with Harry Sosnik and his Orchestra on Decca 23200 B, 1940. [Internet Archive]

VERSE: I wasn’t born to stately halls
Of alabaster.
I haven’t given many balls
For Mrs Astor,
But all the same, I’m in the pink.
My constitution’s made of zinc
And you never have to give this goil [girl]
Oil castor!

CHORUS 1: I’m always a flop at a top-notch affair.
Well, I’ve still got my health, so what do I care?
My best ring, alas, is a glass solitaire.
Well, I’ve still got my health, so what do I care?
By fashion and fopp’ry, I’m never discussed.
Attending the op’ry, my box would be a bust.
When I give a tea, Lucius Beebe ain’t there.
Well, I’ve still got my health, so what do I care?

CHORUS 2: The hip that I shake doesn’t make people stare.
Well, I’ve still got my health, so what do I care?
The sight of my props never stops a thoroughfare.
Well, I’ve still got my health, so what do I care?
I knew I was slipping at Minsky’s one dawn.
When I started stripping they hollered: “Put it on!”
Just once Billy Rose let me pose in the bare.
Well, I’ve still got my vitamins A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H,
I— still have my— health!

- - -
II. Kaye Ballard, on “Cole Porter Revisited,” 1964 [YouTube] sings these 2 additional verses:

I haven’t the face of the great Ina Claire.
I’ve still got my health, so what do I care?
I can’t count my ribs like his nibs, Fred Astaire.
I’ve still got my health, so what do I care?
I love racing madly but can’t….
For fear Colonel Bradley might take me for a horse.
I once spent a week as a freak at the fair.
I’ve still got my health, so what do I care?

I’ve always been strong for a long bill of fare.
I’ve still got my health, so what do I care?
from .. I do tricks like a bear.
I’ve still got my health, so what do I care?
if you find it pleasant to take me for chow,
For you … baby, kill a cow!
When I’m in New York, I’m the Stork Club’s despair.
I’ve still got my health, so what do I care?


III. Bette Midler also sang this song in the film “Beaches” and on the soundtrack album in 1988 [YouTube], and on her album “Jackpot: The Best Bette” 2008. Midler sings the same lyrics as Merman EXCEPT:

Chorus 1 line 7: “I never shall have that Park Avenue air.”

Chorus 2 lines 5-7: “Your face is your fortune, so some wise men spoke.
My face is my fortune, that's why I'm totally broke.
My ship ain't come in, but I grin while I bear.”

As a coda, on Chorus 2 line 9: “I still have my—
Got no diamonds, got no wealth.
I got no men, but I got my health.”


IV. Susan Winter sings this additional verse on her album “Love Rolls On...Live!” [YouTube] (Otherwise, she follows Bette Midler’s version):

When I’m in New York, I’m the Stork Club’s despair,
But I still got my health!
No radio chain wants my brain on the air,
But I’m healthy, so what do I care?
At school I was noted for my lack of speed.
In fact, I was voted least likely to succeed.
My wisecracks, I’m told, are like old Camembert,
But I don’t care!