[thread creep while you're queueing for your interval drinks, souvenir flashing wands and giant foam waving hands, If you think we exaggerate this is from today's :London Ti,es ...at the Watermill in Bagnor, Berkshire, the team that won the Barclays Theatre Award 2000 for best musical is putting on a Cinderella so posh they're calling it Cinderella and the Enchanted Slipper. So don't go expecting Dr Legg and Spencer from Grange Hill as soft-shoe-shuffling Ugly Sisters there, matey.

Don't get me wrong though — if you want Dr Legg and Spencer from Grange Hill as soft-shoe-shuffling Ugly Sisters, Britain can do that for you too. More specifically, Maidstone can do that for you — and their Cinderella at the Hazlitt will even chuck in Pingu.

For further C-list panto-sniggers, you can take your pick from former prog-rock giant Rick Wakeman in Aladdin in Truro; Vanessa Feltz, John Inman, Gary Wilmot and Nichola from Big Brother in Cinderella at Woking; and Peter Pan at the Swan in Wycombe, which offers you the dream team of Joe Pasquale, Dirty Den and The Acromaniacs, all in one go.

RtS (not to mention boxer Frank Bruno in Aladdin somewhere!)