Song Challenge: Barbie Lobster Tale

Subject: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Charley Noble
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 10:32 AM

Life can be a challenge along the coast of Maine, especially if you're a member of our State's hard-scrabble lobster fishing community. However, according to our local newspaper, a small group of lobstermen in the Mount Desert Island area are now rising to this challenge in a new and creative fashion:

"BARBIE LOBSTER, ALL DOLLED UP, PROVES EASY TO PICK UP

(AP, Portland Press Herald, 12/23/03, p. 3B)

Mount Desert Island:

A female lobster crawling around off the Maine coast has cheated death at least 10 times, thanks to Barbie and a couple of Mount Desert fishermen.

As a gag, Jim Bright and his sternman, Chris Costello, outfitted the lobster in doll clothes – a blue blouse, a red-and-white checkered shirt and pink high heels – before putting her into a friend's trap in September. "It's a monotony hauling traps day after day," said Costello, "and we just wanted to break it up a little. It totally worked."

Barbie Lobster, as she is known, has been hauled up by various fishermen at least 10 times along the 26-mile channel between Baker's Island and Mount desert Rock. The VHF radios used by lobstermen would buzz with chatter and laughter each time a new sighting of Barbie was reported.

Costello made a special trip to Ellsworth to buy the Barbie clothes. The fishermen had wanted to dress up a jumbo lobster, but it was too fat to fit into the Barbie doll outfit. They choose a svelte 1.5 pound crustacean instead. "They slipped right on, just like Cinderella," Bright said of the tiny pink shoes he and Costello slipped on Barbie. Costello disagreed, saying it was a challenge to put high heels on the little lobster legs. There are four legs on each side, so the men attached the shoes to the center two. "You try squeezing Barbie shoes on a lobster," he said. "That was the most time-consuming thing."

Barbie hasn't been seen since early December and apparently was unkept at the time, with just her pink heels still hanging on. If she and the shoes survive until spring, she may be home free for another season, Costello said. "We have our spring fashions all ready to go," he said.

Maybe there is a ballad here!

Sorry about your morning coffee...

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:36 AM

LOL!! Charley there are a lot of ramifications to this that need reflection!! Why are wizened old Down East lobstuhmen playing with doll clothes? And what strange passion drove some other lobster to rip the dress off Barby Bug? And abandon her...him?... to walk the sea floor dressed only in shoon? Oh, the shame of it!!

This could end up right up theah with Dangerous Dan McGrew!!


A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 12:04 PM

I expect she'll shed the shoes in a molt.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Art Thieme
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 12:57 PM

Hey, guys, I just tried a box of LOBSTER HELPER for the first time.
Came out tasting like Chinese food. That bothered me until I figured out it was really crushed Asians.

Art

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 01:05 PM

ow!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 01:17 PM

You'll have to haul up a tune for this, and I am sure you can come up with a better ending, but here is a first draft for amusement:

The Tale of the Barby Bug

Many tales are told of the waters cold, in the deeps off Mount Desert town,
Where the ocean roar meets the rocky shore, and the cold granite ribs run down
Where the lobsters grow, in the deeps below, and the men meet their fate with a shrug--
But there's no tale told, by those shores so cold, like the tale of the Barby Bug.

Now the lobster traps in the frozen climes, they are manned by a special breed,
Men as hard of eye as a winter's sky, who march to their own good speed,
And their words are few, and if one but knew, their thoughts might be few as well,
'Til the day that their haul brought a Barbie Doll from the ocean's icy well.

It was old Jim Bright, on a dark cold night, and his sternman loyal and strong
With a load of bouys and a muffled noise slipped out past the bell-bouy's gong,
'Round Pemaquid Point down the Indian Shore, while the neighbors slept and snored
But down in the hold, like a pirate's gold, was a bag from K-Mart's store.

Now they'd never told, those boatmen bold, what they bore in that precious bay,
They just snuck it aboard, like a smuggler's horde, as though too ashamed to say,
And it's hard to prove, when they made their move, and slipped their lines and hauled,
But the gossips say that their cargo dark was -- clothes for a Barby doll!

There was an apron neat, so the story goes, and a sweet gingham dress o'blue
And a hat with a ruff -- and if that ain't enough -- six pairs of little pink shoes!
And they hauled the traps in the channel close, while they pulled on their old clay jug,
And before the day, on the deck boards lay, a motherin' old Maine bug!

She had roamed the floor of the ocean shore for a decade -- maybe two!
And anything that a bug could know that that lobster already knew,
She was mean and hard, and at least a yard, she'd a' won any tripper's cup!
But she didn't much cuss, or fight, nor fuss, 'til they tried to dress her up!!

"Now see here", said Bright, "We must do this right! So just hold you her legs and her claws
And we'll slip on these shoes, and this dress so blue, with nary a hitch or a pause!"
So the mate grabbed hold, and he grabbed those clothes, and he thought that he'd made his luck,
'Til Shellback Sue took a differing view, and commenced to nip and buck!

Wal, she bucked and nipped and she clawed and she flipped, and the deck ran with blood and water,
And the cussing rare in the cold night air woulda stunned a fisherman's daughter,
But the men are hard from those Down East yards, and these two were no exception,
When the dawn came round, she was pegged and down, and dressed to rare perfection!

She looked awful sweet, in that apron neat, and those six pairs of little shoes
And they grinned a grin (as they threw her in) as Maine men are wont to do.
Yes they tossed her back, in her shoes and dress, and they nursed their cuts and their bites
And none of the townsfolk ever knew what those two had done that night.

But from time to time, when the fogs close in, on that cold Atlantic town,
And night grows dark outside the hearth, and the winds from the North come down
They say there's a sound on the cold night air, like the hymn of a summer's rose,
And a lobstery voice sings a faint, faint song:
"Oh, thanks for the loverly clothes!"

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Alaska Mike
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 01:27 PM

There are strange things true, I'm telling you
Done by the folks in Maine.
Where the lonely nights and monotonous sights,
Can drive lobstermen insane.
On an autumn day, both windy and grey
Or so the story goes,
Two men with style from Mount Desert Isle
Dressed a lobster in Barbie clothes.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Charley Noble
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 01:46 PM

Amos-

I think this is a great start and a wonderful way to model the song. However, I'd urge sticking closer to the story which is funny enough, and I'm still chuckling over an image of the first lobsterman's face as he hauled up a trap and was confronted with Barbie Lobster. Probably blew out his remaining front teeth!

We have a Roll & Go annual party scheduled for next Tuesday and I'd love to sing some version of this song. Please keep working on it; it's a keeper.

And, Art, no puns? Oh, dear, "crushed asians"!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Charley Noble
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 04:07 PM

Alaska Mike- Yes!;~)

Here's my revision of Amos' ballad. We may get something good out of this story yet!

Amos ©2003
As reviseded by Charlie Ipcar 12/23/03


The Tale of Lobster Barbie


Many tales are told of the waters cold, in the deeps off Mount Desert Isle,
Where the ocean roar meets the rock-bound shore, and the weather's somethin' vile;
Where the lobsters grow, in the depths below, and men meet their fate with ennui--
But there's no tale told, by those shores so cold, like the tale of Lobster Barbie.

Now them lobster boats in them lands remote, they are manned by a special breed,
Men as hard of eye as a winter's sky, who march to their own good speed,
And their words are few, and if one but knew, their thoughts are few as well,
'Til the day that their haul brought a Barbie Doll from the ocean's icy swell.

It was old Jim Bright, on a dark cold night, with his sternman loyal and strong,
Throttled down to a muffled sound, slipped out past the bell-buoy's gong,
They swung her bow right toward Baker's Light, while their neighbors slept and snored
But down in the hold, like pirate's gold, was a bag from an Ellsworth store.

Now they've never told, them boatmen bold, what cargo they bore away,
They just snuck it aboard, like a smuggler's horde, as though too ashamed to say,
And it's hard to prove, when they made their move, and down the Sound did prowl,
But the gossips say that their cargo that day was clothes for a Barbie doll!

There was an apron neat, a blue blouse sweet, and a checkered gingham skirt,
And to go with the deal some pink high heels, for a classic Barbie flirt!
They grinned at them wraps as they hauled their traps, and passed the jug impatient,
And by the end of day, on the deck boards lay, a svelte female crustacean!

"Now see here", said Bright, "We'll do this right! You hold her legs and claws,
And we'll slip on them shoes, and this skirt so blue, with nary a hitch or a pause!"
So his mate grabbed a-holt, and Jim slipped on them clothes, and she sure looked wicked sha'p,
Then they latched onto a buoy of their good buddy Louie, and dropped "Barbie" into his trap.

Now early next morn, they was cruisin' along, with their VHF tuned for chatter,
When with much mirth they heard Louie curse, and then dissolve in laughter;
And for a month or more, as they cruised that shore, their VHF would explode in glee,
As a new lobsterman was swept up in their plan, hauled in a bedraggled Lobster Barbie.

But as winter begins, and the cold north wind, sweeps down on the Deer Isle shore,
As the nights grow long, there's rum and song, and no one ships out any more;
Jim and his friend, their jug upend, and grin at the drifting snow,
For as soon as it's spring there'll be a new fling, for "Barbie's spring fashions are ready to go!"

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Dahlin
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 04:23 PM

Charlie

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: EBarnacle
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 06:25 PM

Well, Charlie, it would seem that you've got a bon molt there. A friend forwarded the story to me and I knew you would turn it into a ballad. Eric

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Gareth
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 06:46 PM

I won't even attempt to top that - Robert Service - Click 'Ere has a worthy succesor.

It will go down in history, along with such poems as "The Shooting of Dan McGrew" (SP) and "Eskimo Nell"

Gareth

"When a man grows old,
And his **** grow cold,
And the tip of his **** turns blue,
When it bends in the middle
Like a one string fiddle,
Well he can tell you a tale or two !"

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:12 PM

LOL!!

Take it away, Chahlie -- you've got the hang of the thing alright!!

Wodda chohtle, eh?

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Charley Noble
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 09:17 AM

Thanks, Amos! I didn't have a clue how to start this one till you boldly showed the way. I do hope Alaska Mike offers some more advice. Here's where we are now after some more tinkering, primarily with verses 4 and 7:

Amos ©2003
As adapted by Charlie Ipcar
Apologies to Robert Service

The Tale of Lobster Barbie


Many tales are told of the waters cold, in the waves off Mount Desert Isle,
Where the ocean roar meets the rock-bound shore, and the weather's somethin' vile;
Where the lobsters grow, in the depths below, and men meet their fate with ennui-
But there's no tale told, by those shores so cold, like the tale of Lobster Barbie.

Now them lobster boats in them lands remote, they're manned by a special breed,
Men as hard of eye as a winter's sky, who march to their own good speed,
And their words are few, and if one but knew, their thoughts are few as well,
'Til the day that their haul brought a Barbie Doll, from the ocean's icy swell.

It was old Jim Bright, on a dark cold night, with his sternman loyal and strong,
Throttled down to a muffled sound, slipped out past the bell-buoy's gong,
They swung her bow right toward Baker's Light, while their neighbors slept and snored
But down in the hold, like pirate's gold, was a bag from an Ellsworth store.

Now they've never told, them lobstermen bold, what in that bag did lay,
They just snuck it aboard, like a smuggler's horde, and quietly sailed away,
And it's hard to prove, when they made their move, and down the Sound did prowl,
But the gossips say that their cargo that day was clothes for a Barbie doll!

There was an apron neat, a blue blouse sweet, and a checkered gingham skirt,
And to go with the deal some pink high heels, for a classic Barbie flirt!
They grinned at them wraps as they hauled their traps, and passed the jug impatient,
And by the end of day, on the deck boards lay, a svelte female crustacean!

"Now see here," said Bright, "we'll do this right! You hold her legs and claws,
And we'll slip on them shoes, and this skirt so blue, with nary a hitch or a pause!"
So his mate grabbed a-holt, and Jim slipped on them clothes, and she sure looked wicked sha'p,
Then they latched onto a buoy of their good buddy Louie, and dropped "Barbie" into his trap.

Now early next morn, they was just cruisin' along, with their VHF tuned for chatter,
When with much mirth they heard Louie curse, and his sternman ask "Wassa matter?";
And for a month or more, as they cruised that shore, their VHF would explode in glee,
As a new lobsterman was swept up in their plan, hauled in a bedraggled Lobster Barbie.

Now as winter begins, and the cold north wind, sweeps down on the Deer Isle shore,
As the nights grow long, there's rum and song, and no one ships out any more;
Jim and his friend, their jug upend, and grin at the drifting snow,
For as soon as it's spring there'll be a new fling, for "Barbie's spring fashions are ready to go!"

I think I'll give it a go at the Roll & Go party next week.

If I send a copy into the Portland Press Herald, Amos, how would you like to be credited? You probably should PM me.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Amos
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 09:28 AM

No worries, Charlie. A. Jessup will do. Pity we had to give up the bug fighting back, though. LOL!!! Occurs to me that "bug" is a West coast slang term, innit? You don't use it up theah, eh?

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 09:43 AM

Small correction: That should be "smuggler's hoard", not "horde".
Wrong word.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: EBarnacle
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 10:13 AM

We use "bug" in Nueva Eboraca {New York}, too.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Amos
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 10:34 AM

I think the rhyme of ennui with BAR-by is a stumbling point. Shrug and bug provide smoother scansion; but if you're adamant about using Lobster Barby stet, I would suggest using "hardy" to rhyme unless you can find something better (I know it is n't a pure rhyme but at least it scans well). Offhand I can't think of anything that rhymes purely with Barby, except Darby!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Charley Noble
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 10:47 AM

This is a work in process and rhymes, as well as spelling, does need more work. No, we don't call lobsters "bugs" in Maine; we calls 'em "lobsta."

I'm reconsidering a rhyme for "Barbie" but "ennui" is so bad a rhyme that I may just leave it in.

I'm still curious what Alaska Mike might suggest.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Charley Noble
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 02:29 PM

One more try on that first verse:

There are strange things true, I'm telling you, in the waves off Mount Desert Isle,
Where the ocean roar meets the rock-bound shore, and the weather's somethin' vile;
Where the lobsters grow, in the depths below, and men cast their lot to the sea,
But there's no tale told, by those shores so cold, like the tale of Lobster Barbie.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble, on break from wrapping presents

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Amos
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 04:14 PM

Well, you're just gonna have to sing it Barrr-BEee -- kinda like High Barbar-eeee -- which is still a tad awkward, which is why I went for jug/bug. But it doesn't apply ethnologically, as 't'were. :>)

Amos, finished shopping for stocking stuffers

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Charley Noble
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 05:11 PM

Stuff them stockings, Amos!

We're sitting around our little Xmas tree in our office, listening to 1950's "Rocking "Round the Christmas Tree" and drinking Black Swan Chardonay.

Here's to you!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Amos
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 06:12 PM

I think my plastic has melted from excessive swiping, but we're done. Not another dime!!

Charlie and all good Down Easters wherever ye roam, God bless and best of the season to you all!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 08:54 PM

Now THAT's what I call FOLK music.... :-)

It's Folkin' Good!

Robin

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Charley Noble
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 09:53 AM

Thanks, Robin.

Sorry we missed you in Oz.

Charley Noble, the morning after

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 10:39 PM

Next time, Charley, plan to get up into Queensland... :-)
Vist the Buderim Ginger factory! (wait on - I should be getting commission for all these plugs!)

Lost of good things in The Sunshine State!

Robin

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Charley Noble
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 10:49 AM

I had good fun reciting this poem to my family and my wife's family over Christmas. I wisely refrained from my presentation until folks had finsished with their servings of cranberry sauce and gravy.

Now I think I'll forward the poem to several of the Maine newspapers which covered the story, as a follow-up. Probably, by next summer the lobstermen/losterwomen down in Deer Isle will be incorporating "Barbie Lobster" competitions in their special events.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Charley Noble
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 02:45 PM

Well, I may have stirred up some interest with my e-mails to the newspapers. I've received several complaints about keyboards and monitor screens ruined by coffee. We'll see if they print anything.

I'm still tinkering with this poem, which seems to work well to the old California Gold Rush tune "Days of '49". There have been some more revisions and what I'm working with now looks like this:

A. Jessup and Charles Ipcar ©2003
Apologies to Robert Service
Inspired by an AP article in the Portland Press Herald, 12/23/03, p. 3B
Tune: after "Days of '49"
Key: Cm (5/Gm)

The Tale of Lobster Barbie


There are strange things true, I'm a-telling you, in the waves off Mount Desert Isle,
Where the ocean's roar meets the rock-bound shore, and the weather's somethin' vile;
Where them lobsters grow in the depths below, and men cast their lot to the sea,
But there's no tale told by them shores so cold, like the tale of Lobster Barbie.

Now them lobster boats in them lands remote, they're manned by a special breed,
Men as hard of eye as a winter's sky, who march to their own good speed;
Their words are few, and if one but knew, their thoughts are few as well,
'Til the day that their haul brought a Barbie Doll, from the ocean's icy swell.

'Twas old Jim Bright, on a dark cold night, with his sternman loyal and strong,
Throttled down to a muffled sound, slipped out past the bell-buoy's gong,
They swung her bow right, toward Baker's Light, while their neighbors slept and snored,
But down in the hold, like pirate's gold, was a bag from an Ellsworth store.

Now they've never told, that pair so bold, what in that bag did lay,
They just snuck 'er aboard, like a smuggler's hoard, and quietly sailed away,
And it's hard to prove when they made their move, and down the Sound did prowl,
But the gossips all say that their cargo that day was clothes for a Barbie Doll!

There was an apron neat, a blue blouse sweet, and a checkered gingham skirt,
And to go with the deal some pink high heels, for a classic Barbie flirt!
They grinned at them wraps as they hauled their traps, and passed the jug impatient,
And by the end of day on the deck boards lay, a svelte female crustacean!

"Now see here," said Bright, "we'll do this right! You hold her legs and claws;
We'll slip on them shoes and this skirt so blue, with nary a hitch or a pause!"
So ol' Chris grabbed hold, Jim slipped on them clothes, and she sure looked wicked sha'p;
Then they latched onto a buoy of their good buddy Louie, dropped "Barbie" into his trap.

Now early next morn, they was cruisin' along, their VHF tuned for chatter;
With much mirth they heard Louie curse, and his sternman shout, "Wassa matter?"
And for a month or more as they cruised that shore, their VHF would explode in glee,
As a new lobsterman was swept up in their plan, hauled in a bedraggled Lobster Barbie.

Now as winter begins and that cold north wind, sweeps down on the Deer Isle shore,
As them nights grow long there's rum and song, and no one ships out any more;
Jim and his friend, their jug upend, and grin at the drifting snow,
For soon as it's spring there will be a new fling, for "Barbie's spring fashions are ready to go!"

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 03:08 PM

Sounds like its time for a new verse to an old song:

What do you do with a small Maine lobster?
What do you do with a small Maine lobster?
What do you do with a small Maine lobster?
Early in the morning!

Dress her up like a Barbie Doll!
Dress her up like a Barbie Doll!
Dress her up like a Barbie Doll!
Early in the morning!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Amos
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 08:20 PM

Let me know if anything hits print, then, Charlie!! I'll want a copy to sigh over!! LOL!


A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: freda underhill
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 02:32 AM

The Tale of Barbie Ellen..

In scarlet shell, with pincers swell,
was such a lobster dwelling
Made every fisherman drool and sigh
Her name was Barbie Ellen

Sweet William on the sea shore walked
He saw her slender talons
Blushed rosy pink with Barbie shoes
White flesh like tiny melons

Young William called out Barbie love
I think my heart you're breakin'
Your gingham top, your beady eyes
Have sent my thighs a achin'

But slowly slowly she crawled off
And waggled her tail right at 'im
She slid into the frothy sea
That hard hearted pink crustacean

'Twas in the merry month of May
When green seas were a swellin'
Sweet William on his death-bed lay
For the love of Barbie Ellen.

He sent his servant to the shore,
To the rocks where she was a-dwellin',
Cried, "Master bids you come to him,
If your name be Barbie Ellen."

Then slowly, slowly she crawled back,
And slowly went she did eye him,
And when she pulled the curtains back
Said, "Young man, I think you're lyin'.

"Oh, yes, I'm sick, I'm very very sick,
I'm craving soft crustaceans,
my mouth is watering at the sight
Of the fleshy Barbie Ellen."

"Oh, Ken, where are you, Ken my love
Where are you when I need you?
Sick William wants to fondle me
He's of a different breed dear."

And Ken he came in his hiking boots
Beside young William lyin',
He said William, leave my Barbie love
For she's mine for this evenin's fryin'

And Barbie's heart did snap in two
That both men would deceive her
While both men tried to flatter her
Her heart was like a cleaver

Then lightly crawled she down the stairs,
While Ken was in the kitchen
'Tis neither of you who'll get me now,
if my name be Barbie Ellen.

She wandered to the wide green seas
with never a glance behind her
And plunged into the ocean deep
Where nary a man could find her

and sometimes by the soft moon's light
when fisherman are a sleepin'
she sits upon the lonely rocks
a wailin' and a weepin'

will nea man love me for myself
they only want to eat me
I'll ne'er surrender to their tongues
They'll never yet defeat me

From William's grave hung a fisherman's line,
And from Ken's a copper griddle,
While Barbie Ellen e'er does dwell
Where nae man dares to meddle..


freda

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 06:07 AM

wonderful - one of your best!! will you perform it at Gulgong?

And you WILL perform it at the next Friday night session (please??)

sandra

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: freda underhill
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 09:07 AM

i might crawl onto a rock and howl it to the moon..

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 09:29 AM

Ach, Frewda, it's a tear-jerker all right!! LOL!! Nicely done.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Charley Noble
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 10:47 AM

Freda-

Simply brilliant!

I was wondering if someone was gonna give "Barbary Ellen" a try, and your ballad has some of the dark unsettling elements that resonate still in the original. You may quote me, if you like.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: freda underhill
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 03:55 PM

thanks Charlie and Amos

this version has a couple of mistakes corrected.

The Tale of Barbie Ellen..

In scarlet shell, with pincers swell,
there was a lobster dwelling
Made every fisherman drool and sigh
Her name was Barbie Ellen

Sweet William on the sea shore walked
He saw her slender talons
Blushed rosy pink with Barbie shoes
White flesh like tiny melons

Young William called out Barbie love
I think my heart you're breakin'
Your gingham top, your beady eyes
Have sent my thighs a achin'

But slowly slowly she crawled off
And waggled her tail right at 'im
She slid into the frothy sea
That hard hearted pink crustacean

'Twas in the merry month of May
When green seas were a swellin'
Sweet William on his death-bed lay
For the love of Barbie Ellen.

He sent his servant to the shore,
To the rocks where she was a-dwellin',
Cried, "Master bids you come to him,
If your name be Barbie Ellen."

Then slowly, slowly she crawled back,
And slowly went she did eye him,
And when she pulled the curtains back
Said, "Young man, I think you're lyin'.

"Oh, yes, I'm sick, I'm very very sick,
I'm craving soft crustaceans,
my mouth is watering at the sight
Of the fleshy Barbie Ellen."

"Oh, Ken, where are you, Ken my love
Where are you when I need you?
Sick William wants to fondle me
He's of a different breed dear."

And Ken he came in his hiking boots
Beside young William lyin',
He said William, leave my Barbie love
For she's mine for this evenin's fryin'

And Barbie's heart did snap in two
That both men would deceive her
While both men tried to flatter her
Her heart was like a cleaver

Then lightly crawled she down the stairs,
While Ken was in the kitchen
'Tis neither of you will get me now,
if my name be Barbie Ellen.

She wandered to the wide green seas
with never a glance behind her
And plunged into the ocean deep
Where nary a man could find her

and sometimes by the soft moon's light
when fisherman are a sleepin'
she sits upon the lonely rocks
a wailin' and a weepin'

will nea man love me for myself
they only want to eat me
I'll ne'er surrender to their tongues
They'll never yet defeat me

From William's grave hung a fisherman's line,
And from Ken's a copper griddle,
While Barbie Ellen e'er does dwell
Where nae man dares to meddle..


freda

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 11:37 AM

The Barbie Lobster Patrol

We were on patrol
Where the blue seas roll
Up off the coast of Maine
Checking the haul
Of the lobstermen's trawls
And trying not to be too much of a pain

When we came upon
A boat at dawn
And over the side we all went
But what we found
Would confuse and confound        
And leave our minds permn'ently bent

Some of us laughed
As we climbed out our raft
At the sight which was before us
And some of us gagged
At the lobster in drag
Looking like she'd stepped out of a chorus

Now I've seen
Many a strange thing
And of weirdness I've had my ration
But never before
(and I hope never more)
Have I seen a "Barbie" Crustacean

The crew then spoke
Said it was a joke
Looking as embarrassed as could be
They didn't confess
How they got on the dress
Though it was quite beyond me

I knew right then
This couldn't happen again
Stern measures were called for of course
It could get out of hand
And ravage the land
And from there things could get only worse

So I began a citation
For this Barbie Crustation
But I just couldn't decide you see
Was this lobster dressage
Unlawful Crustacean Knowledge (groan)
Or just plain animal cruelty?

I was saved from this question
By a crewmans suggestion
Why don't we just set Barbie free?
So off came her gown
And her shoes of reknown
And back Barbie went to the Sea

Somewhere in the brine
Her dress and shoes left behind
Is the lobster we all called Barbie
We'll remember her well
As we ride on the swell
Of that rolling blue sea.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: freda underhill
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 02:57 PM

I like it!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Charley Noble
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 03:42 PM

You know, come summer there's a string of lobster festivals and other special events down in the Mount Desert Island area. I bet they'll be offering a prize for the best lobster, combining the scores from the swim suit competition, evening dress, and other talent. They might even offer a prize for the best poem. There could be real money in this, gang. Maybe even $5.

Chief Chaos-

You're certainly in the competition, but you've got to be in Maine to compete. Or we'll steal your poem.

Freda-

It's a long run along the "outside track" from Oz but you just might want to consider it. Maybe someone looking for a "traveling companion" would subsidize your trip.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Charley Noble
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 05:39 PM

Ugh, I just noticed that neighboring "Deer Isle" sneaked in where "Mount Desert Isle" should be in the last verse. It does scan better but it's geographically askew. The verse should run:

Now as winter begins that cold north wind, sweeps down on the Mount Desert shore;
As them nights grow long there's rum and song, and no one ships out any more;
Jim and his friend, their jug upend, and grin at the drifting snow,
For soon as it's spring there'll be a new fling, for "Barbie's spring fashions are ready to go!"

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 05:43 PM

As long as you take mind to mention THe U.S. Coast Guard in a good light before reciting or singing it, I don't mind at all. The unfortunate thing is that these songs just sit in my head and don't allow me to get any work done until they're on paper. I'm transferring this summer, don't know where yet, but I doubt Maine is on the menu. Keep having fun. And to all a Happy New Year!

Chief Chaos

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: freda underhill
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 08:06 PM

maybe I should advertise like gadabout. wanted: wealthy travelling companion for spherically challenged babe, must like lobsters, be compliant, generous to a fault and carry a tune.. extensive haemmerrhoid check will be conducted before travel..

fred

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Charley Noble
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 08:37 PM

Chief Chaos-

It's payback time! For your fine work on this thread I provide you with a link to my Coast Guard Song "Swabbing Days are Gone" which you can find on my personal website:Charley Noble Website

You'll probably have to save the song to your desktop and access it in Word. But it's worth it!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Charley Noble
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 04:08 PM

refresh for the Chief

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Charley Noble
Date: 01 Jan 04 - 09:11 PM

Amos-

Score one for us! The editor, David Platt, of the Working Waterfront Newspaper here in Maine has just confirmed that we made the deadline for his January issue. This paper is published by the Island Institute, headquartered in Rockland, ME. I'll send you a copy if they actually print this fine ballad but it looks very promising. To learn more about this interesting newspaper:Click Here!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jan 04 - 09:49 PM

Yay, Team!!!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Charley Noble
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 08:51 AM

Fame but not fortune...

I'll have to see that Jim Bright and Chris Costello get copies of this ballad before it goes much further. The version I sang at the annual Roll & Go party at Sea Dog Brewery last Tuesday was well received, although some porter had to be cleaned off the brickwork as a consequence.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 09:16 AM

*grin* from the sound of it - perhaps the porter CLEANED the brickwork?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 09:34 AM

Hey Charlie,

I picked up your Swabbing Days the other day. It's sitting on my desk. My brother Chiefs got a chuckle out of it. They only took exception to the third verse. I guess we'll call it poetic license that you chose "bed" instead of rack. Congrats on getting published!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale
From: Charley Noble
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 09:49 AM

Chief-

Thanks for your feedback on "Swabbing Days." "Rack" it should be, but it don't rhyme as well with "head":

I remember well how our old chief said,
As he gently stirred me from my bed,
"Rise up, me lad, and clean the head!"
Now, those swabbing days are gone...

Always thought Tom Lewis would like that song.

I hope you were also able to access the MP3 file on my website. I'm still not sure where I stole the tune.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble