BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)

Subject: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: GUEST,Kyle Winneston
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 03:09 PM

I need some help here. I'm a collector of old comics and magazines, specially horror ones, like Eerie and Creepy. A lot of those have the old ads for funny novelty items that you could send away for. They have stuff like...

Soap that turns your hands and face black when you use it. (I mean REALLY black...not like a "black person", okay? I'm not trying to be offensive here.)

Gum that has pepper in it.

Exploding cigars.

Xray glasses for seeing through walls and girls clothing.

Fake vomit.

And all kinds of other neat stuff like that! Pretty cool.

Anyway, I got this issue of a comic called "The Beast From Hollow Mountain" and I noticed in the novelty ads that there was an ad for "Rubber Farts". It didn't show one, but it showed people's reactions to them. There were a couple of kids reacting to a rubber fart. One looked disgusted, the other was laughing. It says "Fool Your Friends! Bug Your Teachers! Clear The Hawllways!"

Now I don't get this. What is a rubber fart? What would it look like and how would it work? Does anyone know?

The ad says to send in 25 cents and 15 7-UP bottle caps, but it's from way back in the early 60's and I checked and the Company, "Pizen Gulch Novelties and Party Supplies" is long gone.

How do I solve this mystery?

Kyle

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: pixieofdoom
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 03:16 PM

It might be a whoopee cushion, they're made of rubber.

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: GUEST,Kyle Winneston
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 03:28 PM

Yeah, it could be that, but I was hoping it was something more rare and exotic. I've seen those whoopee cushion ads a hundred thousand times. I think they called it a rubber fart to show it was different, maybe.

Speaking of novelty items, I did send away for a few. The soap worked great on my brothers, but boy did my mother get pissed! I left some at school too, and it got around a bit. The pepper gum works great if you can find someone who'll try it, but the package is too hokey looking...no name kind of thing...so most people won't. You have to find a real idiot or just get lucky. I used to leave a stick of it lying on a desk and wait for the idiot to come along, and I got a few good laughs that way.

There was one called "invisible ink", and I sent away for it. I got back an envelope with a little package of white grainy stuff and some instructions. You had to add the white, grainy stuff to a glass of water and dissolve it all. Then you loaded a fountain pen with the water and Presto! Invisible ink. When you wrote on a piece of paper you could sort of see it really faintly at first, but then it would vanish as it dried, and you could only make the message out later by holding the paper sideways to the light and translating the marks left by the pen...that was, if you pressed hard enough. This made for cool secret messages and stuff like that.

I used to send away for fake spiders too, but you can get them all over the place now.

Anybody got a favourite novelty item of their own?

Kyle

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: pixieofdoom
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 03:39 PM

The boiled sweets flavoured with pepper and soap are much more effective, you can't tell them from normal boiled sweets. I used to work in a shop that sold all that stuff.

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: GUEST,Martin Gibson
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 04:28 PM

On a related note, I know a guy who once had a novelty product called "Morning Breeze" which was a small bottle of liquid that could best be described as "extract of men's room at the racetrack."

This stuff could really clear any room very quickly.

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: GUEST,Kyle Winneston
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 04:29 PM

Sounds like my kind of place!

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: GUEST,Kyle Winneston
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 04:51 PM

Oh, and my kind of product...we cross-posted there, I guess.

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 08:20 PM

I knew a guy who once said of another guy, "You act like a man with a rubber asshole." I have no idea what that means or how a man with a rubber asshole acts, but obviously the flatulence produced by a man with a rubber asshole would be a rubber fart.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: alison
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 09:43 PM

tooligan, one of our own mudcatters owns a joke shops in Scotland... I'm sure he could help

click here

can I get my commission for advertising now Den?

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: sian, west wales
Date: 24 Oct 03 - 05:15 AM

Seems to me there used to be a thing that was like a deflated balloon - one of the long ones, not round - with a cardboard mouthpiece, and the tip of the balloon cut off. When you blew threw it, it sounded like a fart. Maybe that was it?

sian

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: Jeanie
Date: 24 Oct 03 - 05:22 AM

Whoopee Cushions - the latest "must-have" interior decor accessory !

IKEA, bastion of Scandinavian good taste and the most frustrating checkout queues in the world, are now selling them in their children's furnishings range for 9 pounds each (30 x 40 cm, furry and with big eyes).

I love the way IKEA give all of their items personal names, as if they are characters from the sagas: the whoopee cushions go by the name of "Spratt". [Other favourite characters of mine from the latest Ikeasaga-book are "Pussla, the plastic drape", "Knoppe, the footstool" and "Klappsta, the armchair".]

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: sian, west wales
Date: 24 Oct 03 - 06:21 AM

"threw"? What planet am I on today?

sian

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Oct 03 - 06:31 AM

Thanks Alison. I know all the things you talk about intimately.....

Tooligan

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: GUEST,Martin Gibson
Date: 24 Oct 03 - 11:43 AM

Catspaw

I am familiar with another similiar expression: "you talk like someone with a paper asshole." I am not quite sure either what exactly that means, but when I used the line toward my ex-wife, she got pretty mad.

I would think it means thin skinned.

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: GUEST,Freddie
Date: 24 Oct 03 - 12:26 PM

I can't help on the rubber fart thing, but I want to put in honorable mention for some other great novelty items.

Vampire fangs and big ugly buck teeth

fake wolf ears

fake nose, mustache and glasses

Richard Nixon mask (these are totally coool and will never go out of style)

Severed hand (neat to dangle out of the trunk of your car)

Walking severed hand (with batteries)

Big ugly fake toads.

Fate rats.

Fake tongue that hangs out about 12 inches.

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: GUEST,Martin Gibson
Date: 24 Oct 03 - 03:15 PM

Fate rats?

Oh, of course.

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 03 - 04:20 PM

How to look GOOD!!!

Wear 'em to your next gig!!

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: Helen
Date: 24 Oct 03 - 07:14 PM

Can anyone enlighten me on how the x-Ray specs were supposed to work? I always wanted to know but I wasn't prepared to send any money away to find out. Not rich enough to take a chance on what I assumed was a cheap trick.

This is not a bought joke, but I have to admit it is the only time I have laughed at a student in one of my classes. It was in a pre-trades horticulture group. He was about 17 going on 5, and was being a real pain in the arse, and even the other 17-to-5 year olds in the class were getting frustrated with his antics.

We took a short break and they went off and bought some drinks out of the vending machine. When they came back into class the annoying one was drinking from his can of drink and suddenly started carrying on about the chili taste on the top of the can. He went on and on about it and didn't stop after a couple of minutes, when I would assume that the chili would have lost a bit of its bite.

One of the other guys said, "Oh, just get over it!" but he wouldn't stop. Finally he got up and walked out of the room (which was pretty much a blessed relief for all of us).

After he left one of the other guys said that they had all pitched in to buy the can of drink, and then (remember that this was a horticulture class) they found the hot chili bush and rubbed one around the opening of the can.

So Kyle, you can invent your own jokes. Just don't try them out on me, okay??

Helen

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: GUEST,Kyle Winneston
Date: 24 Oct 03 - 11:42 PM

Awright! That's a good one, Helen. Thanks for the tip. As for the X-ray glasses, well, I found that they really did not work that well. They just made everything look sort of out of focus to me. You had to really use your imagination and fill in the blanks to get much out of them. Having a dirty mind probably helps...

I like the trick where you fill a wastepaper can half full of water, cover it over with some cellophane and spread around some crumpled up papers on top. Then you try and get someone to stamp down the papers or you just wait for the janitor to dump it and get a surprise he didn't expect.

Actually, a surprise IS something you don't expect, isn't it? Sorry if I was redundant.

Another good trick is to put a small animal, like a mouse, inside a teacher's desk drawer. This one can be amazing, depending on the teacher. Bugs work well for this too.

Another one is you catch a wasp inside a paper bag, then roll up the top and leave the bag sitting around. You also need something in the bottom of the bag to give it a little weight. Sooner or later, someone has to see what's in that bag, and....

Then there's the ExLax chocolates trick. Guaranteed to work on the unwary.

I always wanted to put 15 or 20 rats inside this one girl's locker, but I didn't have access to that many rats so it never got done. Too bad. One rat still works really well, but 15 or 20 would have been awesome!

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: Helen
Date: 25 Oct 03 - 01:49 AM

Bugs, mice, rats and spiders don't work at all on me. Spiders are some of my favourite critters so I really disappoint people who try that on with me.

In another of the horticulture classes a student brought in an old cigaretter packet which had a huge garden spider in it of a type I had never seen before. The legs were thin and .... well... spidery but the body was almost 3/4 inch across and sort of spherical. It looked scary but it didn't look like it actually was dangerous.

It was quite funny because the big, boofy young blokes were all standing back and just about jumping up on chairs, and I just got the cigarette packet, coaxed the spider back in with a piece of paper and took it back out to the garden.

One of the guys said, in an awe-filled voice, "Geez, you're brave!"

Helen

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: Micca
Date: 25 Oct 03 - 09:35 AM

On the homemade Practical Joke front, we had a Classmate at College that was a complete Pain, interrupting the flow of lectures with questions that either had already been answered or were about to be!! at break somone intercepted him on the way to the Toilet and another slipped into the cubicle and applied powdered Ginger to the next 4 sheets of Toilet paper.....

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 03 - 01:32 PM

Helen, my favorite drink additive is methylene blue. If you know methylene blue, you know why.

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: GUEST,Kyle Winneston
Date: 25 Oct 03 - 07:52 PM

What does it do, Rapaire?

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: rangeroger
Date: 25 Oct 03 - 08:32 PM

Turns your urine a bright blue.

rr

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: tremodt
Date: 25 Oct 03 - 11:35 PM

i have heard of a paper asshole shitting razor blade what ever that means

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Oct 03 - 11:41 AM

Last night's news - some businessman was arrested and held at an airport when detectors signalled explosives. Turns out he had the latest gimic toy - a fuzzy little dog that farts. The chemicals set off the alarm.

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Oct 03 - 01:06 PM

Well, a fart is a small explosion, after all...except in Spaw's case, where it's a rather large one.

Subject: RE: BS: Rubber Farts? (and other novelty items)
From: Mickey191
Date: 26 Oct 03 - 01:57 PM

Someone just sent me this bit of enlightenment. I was wondering what I was going to do with it. Then I came here--seems like it will fit right in.

You need to know this information:

Thought of the day....
Never hold farts in...they travel up the spine, into the brain, and that is where shitty ideas come from.